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OmegaG -> RE: is there hope? (4/29/2008 8:24:43 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Evility
quote:
ORIGINAL: OmegaG
Come to think of it, we never talked smut on-line, we saved that for when we could partake in mutual physical pleasure to go with the words.
As long as your mutual physical pleasure is derived from mutual desires this approach will work. Let's try an experiment - we'll suggest this strategy of not discussing any kinks pre-play to all of the newbies and we'll tally how well it works for them on a percentage basis. While you were pretty fortunate in meeting the guy you met I think we both know what the results of this exercise will be. If her idea of edge play if a brisk OTK spanking and he has designs that include hypodermic needles and cattle prods... Houston, we may have a problem.
My point is that all of this information is in most cases going to be discussed eventually before people play. The getting to know you part of it... the compatibility of our kinks part of it... it's all likely going to come out. I just don't understand why so many female submissives get their panties in a wad because some dominant asked them about their limits before asking what's their favorite flavor of ice cream.
You'd happily go to eharmony or match.com (vanilla sites) and discuss your kinky proclivities to screen people but over here on a kinky site it's verboten. Interesting.
It's really a balancing act. On a vanilla dating site sexual compatibility is something that you almost certianly have to talk about fairly quickly especially if it's a significant part of your life. Here we have the check lists on the profiles that we can scan for compatibility before ever talking to someone. I happen to like this feature because I can see that he gets sqicked out by the same things that bother me and we can build a foundation based on the non-sexual aspects.
Were I looking only for a play partner I'd be less concerned if he prefers sit-coms to history documentaries or if he prefers to spend his time sitting on his couch rather then other activites. Were it for a fuck-buddy hook up I'd not care if we were compatible in religion, politics and world views, I wouldn't care if he found a site where he can down load all the music he wants for free (intellectual property is one of my soap-boxes and I have stopped talking to people who didn't respect these copyrights). Were I looking for a meantimer I'd care far less about what was in his mind then what his body looked like.
But I wasn't looking for something I could get at my local bar, something I'd walked away from already. I was looking for something more long lasting and while bra size plays a factor in that (it's 38D FWIW), honestly, I beleive that when a gentleman hones in on the sexual aspects from the word go-- he isn't really interested in the same kind of relationship that I'm interested in.
And I should add that while we never talked smut on-line, we also didn't extend the on-line relationship for longer then neccessary. We both had every intention of evolving a working relationship in person, not fufilling fantacies accross the internet.
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