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Mercnbeth -> RE: Seeking insights into first slave (10/14/2005 11:49:42 AM)
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quote:
My first interest is in relationship dynamics,
Ruhdwulf,
If this is your primary interest you should have a goal. What is it? What is hers? If you wrote them down without conferring would they be the same? Although this may be a simple compatibility exercise, it could help create a path. If you write it down and refer to it, it becomes a reference. Eventually it could even evolve into "rules" if you use the goals as targets and develop exercises or rituals that achieve either the physical sensation or the emotional/mental state you desire.
Go in with a plan. Not a unilateral one, but one encompassing her goals too. At this point she would not be doing the feared "topping from below". It's already a given that she desires to be submissive to you. You need now to know exactly what that means to her. Then, how far, or how much is she willing to go with you once you've earned and deserve her trust? Is it all the way with "no limits"; or will there always be a part of her life that she won't/can't surrender to you?
I always have felt that the emotional and mental approach to a lifestyle relationship was more important than any physical sensation. If you make a mistake using a toy there may be a physical injury, but the scars for emotional mistakes are far deeper and last much longer. There is nothing wrong with establishing a relationship long distance where you meet and play whenever you can. I would just recommend that you make sure both of you have realistic and similar goals for the emotional and mental aspects of the relationship as well.
One comment on this part of your post: quote:
Knife play is a new area for me
Knife play encompasses anything from actual blood drawing cutting to just scraping, and scratching. If you have never done it before and have never seen a demo, be careful. Sure there are plenty of sites on the Internet that can tell you about it, but until you do it, you don't know the proper pressure to achieve an effect. Also, take care if you use a knife or other sharp object on a subject bound and blindfolded. A slight touch with a sharp tip, can generate a jerking reaction and result in stab wound. Use a prop appropriate and only as sharp as necessary. And make sure they are clean, and wiped with a disinfectant even if you are only using them to scrape.
An interesting head game, is to show your subject and prepare a variety of sharp knifes, razors and stuff while she watches. Make a bit of a production and go through the whole sharpening and cleaning process, then bind her and blindfold her. Once she can't see - replace the sharp stuff with plastic knifes and other not so lethal implements. she'll never know, and her mind will be in the same place as if you use a scalpel. If you really want to "go for it" heat up some raspberry syrup (or chocolate if you prefer) to a little over room temperature and let her feel it ooze from the "wound" you make. You can even lick it off during the scene. At least the first time you try it she'll never know the difference, and it's much tastier than blood - at least to me.
Good LUCK! HAVE FUN!!!!
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