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Sirandlil1 -> the Darwin Awards (4/29/2008 12:31:41 PM)
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And the glorious Winner for 2007 is:
1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during ahold-up in Long Beach , California , would-be robber James Elliotdid something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and triedthe trigger again. This time it worked.
And now, the Honorable Mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerlandlost a finger in a meat- cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurancecompany. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have alook for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef'sclaim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during ablizzard in Chicagoreturned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, heshot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver foundthat the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayohad escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearbybus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered thepassengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients werevery excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discoveredfor 3 days.
5. A Texasteenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received froman oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told policethat he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a movingtrain before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, andasked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gunand asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided.The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on thecounter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer: $15.
7. Seems an Arkansasguy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted thecinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder blockbounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious.The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught onvideotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse andran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them adetailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehendedthe snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thiefwas then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. Towhich he replied, 'Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the pursefrom.'
9. The Ann Arbor MichiganNews crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him downbecause he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. Whenthe man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available forbreakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
******THE 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he gotmuch more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a verysick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesmansaid that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphonhose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicledeclined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd had in a verylong time.
In the interest of bettering human kind please share these with your friends and family. Unless of course one of the 10 winners by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case be glad they are distant!
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