Female As Whore

Female As Whore (Full Version)

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FlamingRedhead -> Female As Whore (4/29/2008 1:46:06 PM)
quote: "Any man who can get off for more than a minute on the erotic image of female as whore is not a dominant. That image is a pure vanilla fantasy that reduces the female to an object of masterbation. The whole idea of it is to dehumanize the object, so that the male has nothing to be concerned about. He doesn't have to think, to understand, to be skillful, to feel, to experience any degree of intimacy apart from the meeting of genitals, to sustain a relationship." Qualities of a Successful Dominant by Polly Peachum To all the successful dominants, how do you walk the line between humiliation and degradation when using words like "whore" and "slut" to address your submissive? My last dominant wasn't particularly successful since I'm no longer with him. I went from feeling like his treasure to feeling like his skanky booty call. What lengths do you go to in a relationship or a session to ensure that your submissive partner doesn't begin to believe that's all she/he is to you, especially when many people are struggling with self-esteem issues? I know my self-worth although it can be a struggle at times, which is part of the reason I got out of the relationship, but I also love humiliation. I'm interested to find out how others are able to balance showing respect and making your submissive a wanton harlot.

ResidentSadist -> RE: Female As Whore (4/29/2008 2:05:07 PM)
If you let self pride get in the way of the connection, in the way of the things you do instead of letting passion lead, then you will limit yourself. Opening yourself to lust and passion, getting hot enough and so turned on you would fuck the lamp, a dog or a stranger if told to makes you a whore at that time. Being called a whore, for some, reminds them of their place and turns them on and doesn’t feel like degradation or objectification. My girl likes to feel used... it makes her feel important our exchange and to the connection. While she is gagging on me, calling her a “good little cock sucking whore” and “asking if she learned how to do that from her bio-daddy” only makes it hotter for her... and me. [edit: Type-O. It seems recalling random sexual encounters and blurting them out makes me prone to type-Os.]

FlamingRedhead -> RE: Female As Whore (4/29/2008 2:22:28 PM)
I don't think it was self-pride getting in the way when he called me a slut for wearing a short skirt to a bar where I was meeting friends, 2 married couples, whom I had known for more than 10 years. I also don't think it was self-pride that was causing a problem when he tried to make me feel like shit because one of the couples I'm friends with is into swinging, and I had a 3-some with them before I met him while I was unattached. I have no problem with name-calling during sex. As a matter of fact, I love it! What I don't love is being told you really want to see me and then finding you in bed asleep after driving for an hour and a half or not driving over there and being told that you're disappointed I didn't want to come over and get fucked.

ResidentSadist -> RE: Female As Whore (4/29/2008 2:39:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: I'm interested to find out how others are able to balance showing respect and making your submissive a wanton harlot. quote: ORIGINAL: I have no problem with name-calling during sex. As a matter of fact, I love it! What I don't love is being told you really want to see me and then finding you in bed asleep after driving for an hour and a half… <scoping your profile> You certainly aren’t an unattractive woman. I can’t imagine someone’s passion being so low that they doze off on a pretty redhead, especially someone hot enough that she delivers herself to them… narcolepsy perhaps? My reply was to help show the insight into how those things could be seen in a constructive light. You did not explain that you liked those words. If you ever get wanton harlot self to Florida, I’ll give you a hug in person. Until then, {{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}} good luck finding someone that isn’t as moronic as your last encounters.

FlamingRedhead -> RE: Female As Whore (4/29/2008 2:49:21 PM)
Thank you for the kind words and the hug! smiles Yeah, I didn't really understand why someone would invite me over and then not just doze off on the couch waiting for me but to actually go to bed...[8\|] pppffftttt!!!

batshalom -> RE: Female As Whore (4/29/2008 2:52:01 PM)
Because there are roles we all must play in our part of society, and somebody has to be the dickhole.

AquaticSub -> RE: Female As Whore (4/29/2008 3:21:44 PM)
~Fast Reply~ I'll ask him, but it doesn't hurt that I beg him to use those terms. Though I personally find the quote you used to be a load of BS. Plenty of men masturate to the idea of a woman in bondage but wouldn't a clue what to do with one if they actually achieved it - sexual fantasies do not make or break a dominant. Not to mention there is certainly more than one school of BDSM thought that focuses around dehumanizing the sub/slave/pet/property, including (but not limited to) having them serve as furniture. At least the whore breathes...

OldBastardly1 -> RE: Female As Whore (4/29/2008 3:33:07 PM)
I might be much different than others, but what I do seems to work for me. I think that before the "degradation & humiliation" starts, the Dom has to instill in his sub how valued & precious she is to him. I try to not use that type of name calling with a mean, negative tone. I call my sub a wide variety of names, some good, some bad, some just plain silly. But she always knows her value to me. Honestly, I can't imagine him not having the energy to be awake when you arrived. I would think that you would inspire him to be alert, lol. BTW, munch this Sunday, CAP the following Friday, the 9th. Hugs.

YourhandMyAss -> RE: Female As Whore (4/29/2008 3:35:39 PM)
James doesn't either, infact I love it when he calls me bitch and whore and slut. However he is careful to not say it in a mean or angry sounding tone, and he doesn't say stupid slut or worthless slut, cause then it IS unsexy to me. quote: ORIGINAL: OldBastardly1 I might be much different than others, but what I do seems to work for me. I think that before the "degradation & humiliation" starts, the Dom has to instill in his sub how valued & precious she is to him. I try to not use that type of name calling with a mean, negative tone. I call my sub a wide variety of names, some good, some bad, some just plain silly. But she always knows her value to me. Honestly, I can't imagine him not having the energy to be awake when you arrived. I would think that you would inspire him to be alert, lol. BTW, munch this Sunday, CAP the following Friday, the 9th. Hugs.

Constrictor1 -> RE: Female As Whore (4/29/2008 3:59:27 PM)
flamingrh,, there is a big difference in the use of "dirty words" to ellicit an intended emotional response versus the use of the same terms in a derogatory manipulative manner. The examples you gave border on psychologically and emotionally abusive behavior from your ex. ( I am happy for you that you left) Big Hug also. Sounds to me like your ex had some pretty serious insecurity issues. I know it is angering and it hurts to break it off but I think you will be happier in the long run that you had the courage to leave a flawed relationship. I wish you well and keep posting so we can see how you are doing. Constrictor1

FlamingRedhead -> RE: Female As Whore (4/29/2008 4:15:13 PM)
The quote is not referring to the skillful way a loving D/s couple might use the whore concept, i.e. using the word or a role play. I didn't want to post the entire section. This has more to do with the attitude in which it is used. I was supposed to have a date this weekend with a friend's boyfriend's friend, and when I read his blog, it was his opinion that all women were whores. This did not bode well for me, so I was glad the plans fell through. Anyway, I think she is referring to the prevalence of vanilla men on sites such as this thinking that submissives are "whores" who are just begging to be used and abused. If that's why they are here, they are not dominants but horny vanilla men looking for an easy lay by posing as something they're not.

HerLord -> RE: Female As Whore (4/29/2008 4:17:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: batshalom Because there are roles we all must play in our part of society, and somebody has to be the dickhole. Dammit... that's my job!

HerLord -> RE: Female As Whore (4/29/2008 4:23:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FlamingRedhead Anyway, I think she is referring to the prevalence of vanilla men on sites such as this thinking that submissives are "whores" who are just begging to be used and abused. If that's why they are here, they are not dominants but horny vanilla men looking for an easy lay by posing as something they're not. These are the fuckers who give BDSM a bad name. They're not even a part of it and are using it to thier own avail with out understanding or knowledge and turn our passions into ugliness for those who are passionate. Bastards... Let 'em find their way to me... or RS I am sure we know a few things to do about them... Or hell even a few dozen more others around here..

antipode -> RE: Female As Whore (4/29/2008 4:27:34 PM)
Define successful to me. Being able to hang on to a sub? Being able to hang on to you? Being able to get rid of a sub, and move on? Being able... but you get my drift. I have no real connection with calling someone a "whore" or "slut". I expect my sub to be both a whore and a slut, but on the odd occasion when I use that terminology it would typically be when I am using or repossessing her, in an affectionate sort of way. I do not go out of my way to "show respect", if my putting up with her, and taking care of her needs, are insufficient to her, she's got a problem. If I wanted vanilla, I'd have stayed there, but I don't. And often, one can't win. I recall the partner who was upset I wasn't jealous when she eventually told me she had been having an affair; no matter how I explained that possessiveness is a destructive mode of behaviour, to her my lack of jealousy was a clear sign of non-love. Maybe she was right, and I am not good at that love thing, but I care, and for me that is good enough. If that isn't good enough for her, I am successful, because clearing the cobwebs is much more of a measure of success than making them look good and hanging on to them. Ahem. I don't often use that many words. And I guess the answer is: I don't. It's boring. Next!

kinkypuppy2 -> RE: Female As Whore (4/29/2008 4:32:09 PM)
The biggest difference is in using those terms as prase or as a put down. uusing them in a positive light allows them to be positive

Mercnbeth -> RE: Female As Whore (4/29/2008 4:38:23 PM)
*~ Fast Reply ~* quote: how do you walk the line between humiliation and degradation when using words like "whore" and "slut" to address your submissive? Easy - I preface any such reference with 'MY'. beth is aware and has no doubt that anything I view and call mine is treasured, valued, and protected; she more than all. I call her that and more - all prefaced with 'MY'. Should I call her MY "skanky booty call" I know she'd feel pride along with humiliation which she also loves.

Socrate5 -> RE: Female As Whore (4/29/2008 4:58:03 PM)
OP, Sorry to hear about your experience. I think many hateful or vengeful men look into BDSM because they have a "grudge" against women...failed previously relationships etc, and are not true Dominants. They are looking to get even and take that rage out on an someone. I experience this phenomenon weekly in my martial art classes from new students who are not concerned about becoming better people, but are looking to hurt others. Name play for me is all about context. It sounds like the context he was using was not for the thrill of the role, but to denigrate your past is hateful. I find it hard to believe he would fall asleep, you are not an average catch by any means. sigh His loss and regret. Good luck with your search!

SimplyMichael -> RE: Female As Whore (4/29/2008 5:17:07 PM)
God fucking dammit Merc...I was going to say that! Hearing "you are MY cum sucking whore"...feels vastly different than being "A cum sucking whore". I may treat someone as nothing more than a set of holes for my cock, taking out the gag only when I want to fuck its throat, plugging its ears to deny it even the pleasure of hearing moan as I use it but at the end of the evening, after I have bathed her and brushed her hair and am tucking her into bed, she will fall asleep knowing that I adore her above all else. THAT is the difference.

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Female As Whore (4/29/2008 5:20:32 PM)
My whore, my slut, my pig. Emphasis on MY makes all the difference in the world. Sir threatened to chain me to the wall. My response. "you do love me!". he laughed and called me sick and twisted but it was all true.

batshalom -> RE: Female As Whore (4/29/2008 5:27:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HerLord quote: ORIGINAL: batshalom Because there are roles we all must play in our part of society, and somebody has to be the dickhole. Dammit... that's my job! Then step yer game up or no prince edward for you.

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