be careful what you wish for

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misskittyslave -> be careful what you wish for (10/16/2005 2:50:56 AM)
we are taught as children to have wishes and to hope with all our might that they come true....what happens when they do? what consequences can they bring? at what cost does having all you wish for set you up for disaster? lets look at two scenarios a dark desire and a pure one... first a tale from the darkside... it had been a need of mine for quite some time to be beaten by my Master until i cried and then to still have it continue. i knew deep within me that i was not so much of a masochist as i wanted to be free from the constraints and inability to surrender completely to allow myself that weakness to cry in front of Him, from His Own hand. Each time the intensity grew i became more and more resiliant. able to withstand more and more. i found tricks to stop myself from crying. i was for so long unable to give in to what i wished for. i begged Master please beat me until i cry. But each time He beat me i couldnt give into my tears. One day the most amazing thing happened...it took hours and such intensity but i finally gave in to it and surrendered to Him and as He grabbed me by my hair to make certain i was alright while i was sobbing He said "be careful what you wish for pet" and continued to beat me for a little while longer. i never felt so happy and so free and so clensed. i trusted that He would keep me safe uncomfortable but undamaged. Afterwards He let me curl up at His feet and He pet my hair reassuring me. it was a most splendid experience and quite fulfilling rewarding and a breakthrough for me. NOW lets examine a lighter side shall we? a dear friend of mine longed so much to belong to a Couple. she gave all she could. her desire to serve and to love and be loved in return. it sounds so simple so pure...and yet...it has brought her heartache and pain. her pure desire to find a balance of powers to belong to have been misguided and used in a horrible way. to find the ones she could love and surrender to have led her on a path of self destruction. it binds her still. no matter how neglected or taken advantage of or misused. she remains. knowing in her heart no good can come from it but afraid to be alone. her sacrafice of everything that would keep her safe gone...she is alone in her misery. belonging and having only that which will bind her to more of the same neglect and abuse. her quest for completion of belonging perverted and twisted. her wishes her desires have become her destruciton and she fears to leave it for the pain of nothingness is more frightening to her than the pain of her abuse. i say not only be careful of what you wish for but who you allow to hear those secret yearnings to. dont surrender them to just anyone but let it be earned by someone worth while. for your gift of total submission is wasted if not given to someone who will take the time to nurture and help it flourish. my beating broke through to me and healed me in ways that helped me so much ....but she is now broken from being beaten down and mistreated from a quest searching for a loving and trusting relationship where she has found herself surrendering without wisdom. i realized today that i cannot make a difference in someones life unless they are willing to accept what i offer. i realized that no matter how painful it is to watch someone i care for crash and burn they have to take the first step towards safety. how many of U/us really are aware that there are consequences and prices to pay for getting what we wish for? how many can forsee those costs accurately? what do W/we do when the price is too high to pay? and what do we do when we watch somone we care about crash and burn yet refuse to leave the fire?

LadiesBladewing -> RE: be careful what you wish for (10/16/2005 7:21:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: misskittyslave how many of U/us really are aware that there are consequences and prices to pay for getting what we wish for? how many can forsee those costs accurately? what do W/we do when the price is too high to pay? and what do we do when we watch somone we care about crash and burn yet refuse to leave the fire? It is also important to be careful that what you -think- you are getting is really what you are being offered. Many times, I've seen individuals who had certain powerful desires, and their desires were so strong that they "interpreted" less suitable opportunities as being a real chance to see their desires take root. Many don't even have -doubts-, even when they hear and see things that are pretty clearly -not- what they wanted. It is also possible that, having spoken our dreams aloud, someone could hear and shape themselves so as to -appear- to be the ideal. I always counsel people to be careful...to take your time, and to really listen and -ask- and to be -sure- that what you think you are seeing is what you are -really- seeing. If it sounds "off", it probably is. If something looks "not quite right", it probably isn't right. If you are questioning yourself, and you bring the questions to the person(s) who embodies your ideal and you don't hear answers that ease your mind, you are probably not in the place you want to be. I still count on seeing peoples eyes. I'm not big on "online interviews" and "phone interviews". I want to see the person's eyes, and see their face, and watch as they process the information that I am sharing. The face holds a multitude of clues, if we can see it to read it. If that is too much to ask of someone, they are -clearly- not the individual for our household. It is always hard to learn that the thing that we -thought- was perfect isn't. Sometimes, it is fixable...if everyone is committed to the same goals. Sometimes it isn't, and when it isn't, we inhibit our chances of finding the situation that -is- right if we hold on to the one that isn't right out of our fear of not having -anything-. The concept of zen...of detachment...helps us to understand that sometimes, finding the thing that we want means letting go of what we have that is inhibiting us. The path of patience and acceptance of ourselves and the true picture of our dreams -- including not settling for less than what we know will be the right place for us to be for this stage of our lives -- is a challenging and worthy path to walk, no matter how long the journey takes.

OscarHargraves -> RE: be careful what you wish for (10/16/2005 9:23:42 PM)
Misskittyslave you are very articulate. You are also quite intuitive. I noted your comment about KNOWING that your Master "would keep me safe uncomfortable but undamaged'. That is the element that is missing from your friend's relationship. Trust of the Master(s) and respect of the Master for the slave. You have both. She does not. And you are totally right in assuming that she would probably rather continue in the abuse rather than going out and being alone. That's a very sad but very real problem and only she can decide to change that. In the meantime all you can do is try to support her and encourage her to do what's right for HER. (You might also consider continuing working on a Psych degree for yourself at your local college.)

Cindersslipper1 -> RE: be careful what you wish for (10/17/2005 4:29:03 AM)
I too have asked for something that i got. i wanted a Dom who i could trust, love, serve and be totally dedicated to, someone who would keep me safe and protect me while opening my eyes mind and soul to the lifestyle that has called me to for so long, i asked to be worshiped and to worshiped right back in need and want. i asked too that he pushed me beyond the last time the last experience... ohh i have that... all of that perhaps in my selfishness to my own needs i should of asked that he have the same wishes and desires. alas he does not. i've worked so hard for his trust and a glimpse into his private life... his vanilla world, i love with all my heart i accept his terms his word his faith in me to submit to his will to obey him and not pry which is limiting but i do not.. however i do not have him and he has always stated that no one would.. where does that leave me... dissatisfied with what i can give because now i find myself 2 years down the track in love and servitude to a man who will not allow himself to accept the love that i have for him out of a fear of being held back or caged by someone.. i do not regret what i have asked for... a Dom more in need i dont think i will ever find, however i have learnt that i am only ever at the most 50 percent of any situation, while i can deal and control the way i feel, i can never control the way he feels or others feel, i can only reinforce my beliefs in my love and express them and make them known to him and hope that one day he will see that my love isnt the cage he thinks it to be. Your friend yes is locked into a situation where you can not break through to her, you can not control it, you cant dictate or demand even for her own good to save her more hurt. she will eventually leave, maybe more shattered and delicate then now or before but more wise in her decissions and in her hopes for herself. You do have a choice here... right her off as wasted space and leave her in the bed in which she lays or just be there for her when she needs it and not shun her for the choice she has made to stay be it right or wrong for you yourself.. J

misskittyslave -> RE: be careful what you wish for (10/18/2005 9:55:19 AM)
Cinders i understand and am sorry for the pain that you are experiencing i know how difficult this must be for you. my friend i hope knows that i would never judge her and i will always be there when she is ready...but that i too am worried and frustrated witht the situation seeing her hurt more and more each day. i thank you for your support and understanding be well and be safe

lonewolf05 -> RE: be careful what you wish for (10/18/2005 11:19:39 AM)
being unsure how to read this...i will merely say...good luck in your future and take care. as to growing up with hope,...and wishes? i guess you are talking to normal people that are not in MY circle...since "I" grew up at 10 yrs old and had ALL my childhood things burned and was told NOW be a man, fantasy is over. wolfie

fyreredsub -> RE: be careful what you wish for (10/18/2005 12:11:09 PM)
wow the second scenario really gives someone something to ponder.this girl has no valuable insight to give but does need to stop and think.thank you

darkinshadows -> RE: be careful what you wish for (10/18/2005 12:22:31 PM)
My only comment would be is that in the second scenario - we are only hearing your version. Your take on events. Your eyes. We have no idea how the your friend feels, or what she understands, or what she feels able to accept. Therefore, your thought is subjective. If I heard first hand from this 'friend' - then I would better understand. Intil then, one persons abuse, is another persons pleasure - whether it is seemingly negative or not to an outsider... Peace and Love

MasterRobert1 -> RE: be careful what you wish for (10/18/2005 12:27:44 PM)
Maybe it wasn't a case of getting what she wanted that caused the pain for your friend. maybe it was getting what she wished for but FROM THE WRONG PEOPLE. Nothing wrong in getting what you want. It who you are getting it from that really seems to be the critical point. Your Master knew your wish/need, understand it, used it creatively. That is what seems to be the real difference.

misskittyslave -> RE: be careful what you wish for (10/18/2005 10:44:00 PM)
Angel i know that you only have my word to take for this but when the girl calls me hysterically crying pondering how can i leave this relationship becaue it is killing me inside...and i know that i am being abused and misused....i think that sort of qualifies as my speaking on her behalf or through her eyes....and please i say that with all due respect as i am quite aware that one persons pleasure is another persons abuse. i am very very open minded to all play scenarios that are not deadly or pedophilia types. while some are distasteful to me personally if someone enjoys it who am i to say i dont like your kink so it is bad....with that said i hope it clarifies a bit more and helps you understand where the motivation was when i wrote that origional piece. be safe always warmest regards

JustaTop -> RE: be careful what you wish for (10/19/2005 1:02:39 AM)
To thine own self be true. Being true to a fantasy is the ultimate in emotional masochism.

Cindersslipper1 -> RE: be careful what you wish for (10/19/2005 6:14:30 AM)
"To thine own self be true. Being true to a fantasy is the ultimate in emotional masochism." ohh truer words i have yet to hear .. its often the simplest of words where clarity reins

Synocense -> RE: be careful what you wish for (10/19/2005 6:58:06 AM)
We are not bound by our dreams. They are fantasies until they become realities. One might fantasize about being bound and tortured with feathers, then one day they make that fantasy a reality and it was nothing like they envisioned ...or hoped...in their mind. If your dream isn't what you thought it would be, let it go. Create a new one. If you are involved in something that does not feel right, physically, emotionally or otherwise, then stop doing it. Yes, there is a way, even for people Owned. Best of luck to you and yours, Syn

misskittyslave -> RE: be careful what you wish for (10/20/2005 2:57:20 AM)
Syn thank you so much for your encouragement to others i hope that my friend heeds your sage advice that somehow also seems full of understanding and compassion be well and be safe purrs

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