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ocilla -> RE: when to ask for chat/phone/r/t meet? (5/4/2008 8:05:36 PM)
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Sigh, Whew - for awhile there I could not get into the forums. But the tech support here fixed me up like quick little foxes once I figured out how to email them. So here I am to add my 2 cents.
First off it appears many have given good advice. And I think sea's point on "gut check" and following your instincts is the most important. Everyone is different and you cannot get it right all the time so cut yourself some slack.
As to how I prefer communication to proceed??? Well, I have some strong opinions about e-comunication as a tool for getting to know a person in realtime. In fact I am about finished with a journal post on the topic....I know seems everyone posts a a similar journal entry sooner or later, but I am hoping that it still will be helpful for those interested in getting to know me in particular.
So until I have met someone face to face I have a hard time motivating myself to invest in all but the minimum e-communication or to even entertain the mildest possibilities of moving forward with a fella. Ok, perhpas I am a little jaded but every time I've invested any effort into e-coomunication it has turned into a waste of my time, hope and heart. Coffee and conversation, face to face very early on makes all the difference for me. It also keeps that first meet from turning into a tense, charged event. Meeting early keeps it casual and relaxed and in my opinion no more dangerous than meeting and conversing with the random person who happens to be sitting next to me in the coffee shop. Looking into a persons face, the way they carry themselves, their voice inflection and mannerisms are such important broascasters that I need that early on or I just lose interest. And I find that those whose lives are emeshed with lots of secrets and double living are not a good match for me. I am not "out" but neither do I put much effort into hiding in social settings.
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