RE: when to ask for chat/phone/r/t meet?

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RE: when to ask for chat/phone/r/t meet? - 5/4/2008 7:04:17 PM

undergroundsea

Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Usako
It's simple human interaction if you take out the BDSM factor.

I agree with that point.

However, human behavior is complex, and the various interpretations of BDSM make it further complex. It is fair for someone with a question about a matter important to him to do a gut check. Why not give advice without scolding the person?

Cheers,

Sea

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RE: when to ask for chat/phone/r/t meet? - 5/4/2008 8:05:36 PM

ocilla

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Sigh, Whew - for awhile there I could not get into the forums. But the tech support here fixed me up like quick little foxes once I figured out how to email them. So here I am to add my 2 cents.

First off it appears many have given good advice. And I think sea's point on "gut check" and following your instincts is the most important. Everyone is different and you cannot get it right all the time so cut yourself some slack.

As to how I prefer communication to proceed??? Well, I have some strong opinions about e-comunication as a tool for getting to know a person in realtime. In fact I am about finished with a journal post on the topic....I know seems everyone posts a a similar journal entry sooner or later, but I am hoping that it still will be helpful for those interested in getting to know me in particular.

So until I have met someone face to face I have a hard time motivating myself to invest in all but the minimum e-communication or to even entertain the mildest possibilities of moving forward with a fella. Ok, perhpas I am a little jaded but every time I've invested any effort into e-coomunication it has turned into a waste of my time, hope and heart. Coffee and conversation, face to face very early on makes all the difference for me. It also keeps that first meet from turning into a tense, charged event. Meeting early keeps it casual and relaxed and in my opinion no more dangerous than meeting and conversing with the random person who happens to be sitting next to me in the coffee shop. Looking into a persons face, the way they carry themselves, their voice inflection and mannerisms are such important broascasters that I need that early on or I just lose interest. And I find that those whose lives are emeshed with lots of secrets and double living are not a good match for me. I am not "out" but neither do I put much effort into hiding in social settings.

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RE: when to ask for chat/phone/r/t meet? - 5/5/2008 5:56:22 AM

Dnomyar

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Ok lets quit the fantasies. Op if she wanted to IM with you she would have already mentioned it by now. You mentioned that she is local. If she had wanted to meet with you she would already have set up a meeting.

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RE: when to ask for chat/phone/r/t meet? - 5/5/2008 8:03:34 AM

wandersalone

Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
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I'm a little confused...in another thread you mentioned that the woman you are dating wants you to dominate her and you ask for ideas on how to do this and that it wont be a one off experience. Maybe you are trying to take on too much all at once and it would be helpful to focus on one area of learning at a time.

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RE: when to ask for chat/phone/r/t meet? - 5/5/2008 1:37:15 PM

Owned1

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From: Toronto, Ontario
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I was wondering the same thing wandersalone, perhaps this is wank material for the op?

Owned

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RE: when to ask for chat/phone/r/t meet? - 5/5/2008 2:17:06 PM

ThundersCry

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How about someone willing to drive a couple thousand miles...<eg>

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RE: when to ask for chat/phone/r/t meet? - 5/5/2008 2:35:31 PM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
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i dont use any of those silly chat programs like yahoo/msn/aim..etc.

i prefer the phone over anything as a form of communication until a meet is decided. chances are your not going to find a local. i have not had one single serious email from a local person. all have been from the usa. i am lucky to have free long distance on my phone.

i often ask for their #. because if they are really interested in me...they will give it to me or end the convert. i've got many phone #s from people here on the forums. they know im not gonna stalk them and they love my yummy voice. if they have call display my # will show up or i can offer it to them. but likely they cant afford the long distance...where as it costs me nothing.

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RE: when to ask for chat/phone/r/t meet? - 5/5/2008 2:42:32 PM

Politesub53

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Ok lets quit the fantasies. Op if she wanted to IM with you she would have already mentioned it by now. You mentioned that she is local. If she had wanted to meet with you she would already have set up a meeting.

Maybe not, some women still prefer the guy to make all the running. I read such a post only a week or so ago. The big danger for a new submissive is to rush into it, and seem pushy.

Waves to Ocilla, welcome back Ma`am.

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RE: when to ask for chat/phone/r/t meet? - 5/5/2008 8:08:40 PM

ocilla

Posts: 1764
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Hiya politesub

Well - politesub, there you go calling me out....you my dear one are a total exception for me - even though you're across an ocean. I do enjoy exchanging the occassional email with such a sweet heart. Especially since you do not seem to know if you are coming and going accept when you walks backwards....oh wait that is another thread.

Actually, I have to say that many of the regulars here on the boards are a complete exception for me in terms of e-communicating. I do enjoy cooresponding with you good folk but it is different.

these new emoticons are addictive.

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RE: when to ask for chat/phone/r/t meet? - 5/5/2008 9:30:12 PM

MistressOfGa

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quote:

Suck it up, grow some balls and ask. There isn't any magic, vodoo that can help. And no matter what people say here, it won't help either. Courage and logic are things only you can have.

Why do you always have some snotty comment to many who post? Maybe you do not understand what it means to be a submissive. But if a boy came to me and was pushy, as you suggest, I would most likely discontinue our conversations. Obviously, you have no idea what it's like to be Dominant either. Not every Domina appreciates a male submissive making the first move.

Here is one example. Thanks to MzMia for this: http://www.collarchat.com/m_1838943/tm.htm##

I hope this night finds you in better spirits.

MoGa

Edited To Add: Link

< Message edited by MistressOfGa -- 5/5/2008 9:54:02 PM >

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RE: when to ask for chat/phone/r/t meet? - 5/5/2008 9:35:01 PM

RedMagic1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa
Why do you always have some snotty comment to many who post?

I noticed that too.

Not that you care, Usako, but I wouldn't hit on you in a million years. I go for compassionate. That's one way you can tell I'm not a real Dom.

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RE: when to ask for chat/phone/r/t meet? - 5/5/2008 9:45:18 PM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
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quote:

That's one way you can tell I'm not a real Dom.

Oh RM, as if! lol To me that marks a great Dominant. For how can you cause pain, without compassion? You would be a sadist. Unless of course you are one! lol but even sadists have compassion, in my humble opinion.

Hugs,

MoGa

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RE: when to ask for chat/phone/r/t meet? - 5/6/2008 8:02:55 AM

Madame4a

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Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThundersCry

How about someone willing to drive a couple thousand miles...<eg>

well.. I only mentioned my local rules --- *grin* I've learned that if someone lives far, they MUST be willing to close that distance quickly... to see how things go...

and if you're willing ...