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Frustrated - 5/5/2008 1:10:55 AM

beltainefaerie

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I'm over 7 months pregnant and thrilled about that. However, the bigger I get and this boy gets, the harder it is to move around, bend over, etc. Master and I have continued to play safely in modified ways throughout my pregnancy. Currently, there are a couple of problems. One, we have hardly had any time to see each other lately due to a variety of scheduling issues and the time we have had has often been interrupted by his new beautiful daughter. His wife used to play with us, but during her pregnancy I got to play one-on-one with Master a lot. (During my pregnancy, she has often been busy with the baby and the few times she has tried to join us, play has been cut short by the dear one waking up from her nap early.) I guess I got used to a certain level of interaction and I am sad to not have as much time right now. We are very happy to be parents and understand that everything in our lives has/will change, so I am not saying these parts to complain, but just to give background to our situation.

The second thing is that I am craving really intense beating right now, which he has been missing too. He is a sadist and right now neithher of his subs are in a state to be used that intensely. For my health and that of my child I know it isn't possible to take the kind of abuse I crave and he desires.

Partially, I think I just needed to voice these things to people who would likely get it. My question is, does anyone have suggestions of ways to deal with not having as much time to spend together and not being able to be used as intensely? I am experiencing some depression which is sort of like sub drop. Talking with him on the phone frequently helps sub drop when it is after a scene, but doesn't seem to be helping this much.

< Message edited by beltainefaerie -- 5/5/2008 1:15:20 AM >

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RE: Frustrated - 5/5/2008 1:24:02 AM

phoenixinchains

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sometimes time is the only thing that helps. most relationships go through "busy times" where the whole world is upside down. it seems that everyone wants the same things, it just that the situation will not allow those wants... so that's a good thing, everybody is on the same page. so just wait, you'll get there

and yes, i know waiting is hard. i have do it a lot with Master being in the military.

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RE: Frustrated - 5/5/2008 2:22:12 AM

MaamJay

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In Our case it is Master who is unwell with Ross River Virus, a nasty thing that takes 6-12 months to get over. It is incredibly frustrating to have little to no play, and very little sex, simply because He is too fatigued. Even more so because My Domme side is still searching for a sub, so She's not getting any action either! All I can say is ... Jay and violet BOTH empathise!! Wish I had more positive suggestions besides grin and bear it and keep the lines of communication open. HUGGGSSS!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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RE: Frustrated - 5/5/2008 7:21:37 AM

RedMagic1

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There is a lot of good information here. (One of the only threads I ever started, I'm so proud....)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1594582/mpage_1/key_pregnant/tm.htm#1594582

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RE: Frustrated - 5/5/2008 7:37:18 AM

Mercnbeth

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quote:

My question is, does anyone have suggestions of ways to deal with not having as much time to spend together and not being able to be used as intensely?

train to be patient. it is a handy skill for a parent to have as well. as with anything else, the more you practice it, the better you will be at it.
this slave got her absolute BEST patience training at week 36 of her first pregnancy. her cervix began to dilate and the Doc said "anytime"... 4 weeks of waiting for that moment to happen at ANY moment inpsired a LOT of positive activities to particpate in while this slave was waiting---ridiculous amounts of walking, meditation, cross-stitching, sewing and ice cream binges, to name a few.

to this slave, the baby was the Dominant influence over her...and was served first. it's a big reason why the relationship with the father didn't work out---he didn't feel the same way.

best wishes!!!

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RE: Frustrated - 5/5/2008 8:07:45 AM

peppermint

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One of the important lessons we learn as adults is that we can't always have everything go our way. There are times when we must accept that we can not do all, we can not be all, that there are circumstances that require us to adapt. It's a major part of parenting. Welcome to the world of sacrifice for our UMs.

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RE: Frustrated - 5/5/2008 8:16:58 AM

DesFIP

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For him, heavy amounts of exercise to the point of exhaustion should take care of his need temporarily. And if he wants his wife able to deal with sex and some play, he better start taking some of the night feedings so she can sleep. Also if he was suffering from sleep deprivation as well as her, then he wouldn't be feeling so deprived. The need for sleep is paramount.

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RE: Frustrated - 5/5/2008 8:17:45 AM

psykocloud

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I am in the same boat as you. Very frustrated!! The only thing that gets me through it is knowing it be be this way for ever. I'm not getting the one on one time with Sir like before this year began. It's been a crazy year for us all.

The only suggestion I have is for you is to throw yourself into a project and give it your all. I am making me a Wenches costume for our local groups Pig Pickin this month. The theme is a Pirates theme so the three of us are dressing up for that. Yes I miss Sir very badly but I know it won't stay this way for ever.....

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RE: Frustrated - 5/5/2008 5:51:37 PM

beltainefaerie

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At least I know I am not alone, which is very helpful. Thanks for your responses.

I was hoping for some suggestion beyond just wait to deal with the depression. I wasn't expecting suggestions of how I could play right now, just of what I can do to calm the cravings which can't be satisfied.

Psykocloud, I like the idea of throwing myself into projects, but unfortunately that is what I have been trying. I am so busy at work it is stunning and at home I am organizign a move to a different city. Good luck with your costume!

Just to clarify, DesFIP, Master and his wife are both far less sleep deprived than in the first few months. Their daughter is just about 6 months old now. Master is not pestering either of us for play/ sex/etc. He is involved in the raising of his child and his sleep schedule and everything else have been effected just like his wife's. I only know of his needs, because I expressed mine. We have both acknowledged that we really, really look forward to more intense play when I am able again.

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RE: Frustrated - 5/5/2008 6:21:44 PM

lizcgirl

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Depression sucks, especially in pregnancy. Sunlight helps, just going outside and enjoying the day whenever possible helps with the harder times. One of the biggest things to fight is the desire to isolate, which usually sets in after the depression hits full force. Make sure to keep up interactions with others, make it a point to go out with friends, talk on the phone, etc. Do things you enjoy, even if you don't enjoy them as much. And projects are a huge help, but they only go so far. When I was pregnant with my daughter I was completely on my own and I was so pent up and so frustrated I swear I was the meanest pregnant woman alive! Even if you can't play as hard or as often as you used to, make it a point to still play. The baby is well protected in there, so you can still be a LITTLE rough (not too much obviously), and a little is better than nothing, trust me on that. (lol) Maybe you could try out some other aspects you haven't tried before or replace the ones you usually do with ones you don't do as often? Like replacing hits below the breast line with face slapping or rough sex with rough oral? Just keep in mind- it's almost over!

Good luck!

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RE: Frustrated - 5/5/2008 10:04:24 PM

scarlettjinx

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I completely feel for you. I am now 31 weeks along (9 more to go), and just this afternoon was expressing to Papa how frustrated I am that although my body is forcing me to slow down, My mind is just as dirty and deviant as ever!! We have been trying to supplement with more hair pulling and biting and things like that, but it just isn't the same when what you really want is to be tied in half, beaten with a cane, and used for super rough anal play. Maybe all of us preggo subs should start a support group. Who knows?

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RE: Frustrated - 5/7/2008 7:56:33 AM

beltainefaerie

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A Pregnant support group would be awesome! Thanks lizcgirl and scarlettjinx for your support and suggestions.

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