Pitfalls of D/s and how to avoid them ? ? ?

Pitfalls of D/s and how to avoid them ? ? ? (Full Version)

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MagikMstr -> Pitfalls of D/s and how to avoid them ? ? ? (10/16/2005 3:39:41 PM)
Warm Greeting to A/all, I am a 46 yo Dominant Male who has his priorities in order, Health , Home , Work , and wish to open my life and lifestyle to one possibly two submissive/slave girl/s . What I wish to know is the obvious pitfalls other Dominants Male and Female Dommes have found with this Lifestyle, what to watch out for in submissive training/psche, I consider myself Well rounded individual Honest , Kind, Considerate, Loving, But Strict as need be. I havent had a full time sub/slave before and really would appreciate Experienced Dom/Domme views on this subject of Pittfalls of the D/s lifestyle....

ShadeDiva -> RE: Pitfalls of D/s and how to avoid them ? ? ? (10/16/2005 3:49:32 PM)
Lying and denial. Two of the biggies. Lack of ability to be fully open and being able to communicate clearly and honestly and openly are some others. Insecurity issues, that sort of thing. Actually they are the same exact pitfalls as ANY relationship can have, vanilla or BDSM. People is people. lol

perverseangelic -> RE: Pitfalls of D/s and how to avoid them ? ? ? (10/16/2005 4:39:52 PM)
(Just FYI, one of your threads might get pulled 'cause posting the same thing in two seperate forums is highly discouraged. Still, looking forward to seeing the answers you get)

thetammyjo -> RE: Pitfalls of D/s and how to avoid them ? ? ? (10/16/2005 4:40:20 PM)
Biggest pitfall I see on all sides is going to fast. There is no reason you can't take months or even years to get to know each other, working upto (if you want) a full-time, live in ownership relationship. Many of the problems I hear of come from people moving too fast and being blinded by a romantic view of all of this.

Janon -> RE: Pitfalls of D/s and how to avoid them ? ? ? (10/16/2005 7:29:09 PM)
We're new to the lifestyle, and I would say the biggest pitfall we encountered was miscommunication. We had a strong relationship pre-D/s, but the ante of intimacy is only upped with D/s. We've been working out the "kinks" ever since lol. Communicate, and do your research--know the lingo, know how others in the lifestyle do things (so you can emmulate or NOT as you see fit). Know yourself, make sure your potential partners know themselves. Most of all, have fun! Janon

Lordandmaster -> RE: Pitfalls of D/s and how to avoid them ? ? ? (10/17/2005 12:41:20 AM)
This is very, very true. I would put dishonesty and denial right at the top. If you're not honest with yourself, you can't be honest with anyone else, and if you're not honest with anyone else, you're not going to have a relationship that succeeds. The same is probably true of vanilla relationships (though I wouldn't know, since I suck at vanilla relationships), but I think it's especially important to be honest with yourself in a d/s relationship, because it involves a life and mentality that most people in ordinary society don't understand and would probably oppose. quote: ORIGINAL: ShadeDiva Lying and denial. Two of the biggies. Lack of ability to be fully open and being able to communicate clearly and honestly and openly are some others. Insecurity issues, that sort of thing. Actually they are the same exact pitfalls as ANY relationship can have, vanilla or BDSM. People is people. lol

MagikMstr -> RE: Pitfalls of D/s and how to avoid them ? ? ? (10/18/2005 7:42:42 AM)
Thank you to all who posted their thoughts on this question, I did indeed post in two forums the same question this was to recieve different viewpoints, not to be redundant. I have noticed a similar thread in the replies of each of Yours, And again I thank You A/all Sincerely MagikMstr

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