RE: How to heal? (Full Version)

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OldBastardly1 -> RE: How to heal? (5/6/2008 11:51:51 AM)

But what if you say it and He replies with " ummmm...thanks"?



OmegaG -> RE: How to heal? (5/6/2008 12:11:38 PM)

it doesn't matter, I'm not looking for anything back, just to make my feelings known.



sweetnurseBBW -> RE: How to heal? (5/6/2008 12:34:42 PM)

Grieve and reflect and don't lay all the blame on yourself. It takes two to make it work. Only time heals, just enjoy being with you for a bit. Hang out with friends and move on with your life.



CountrySong -> RE: How to heal? (5/6/2008 12:45:53 PM)

Hi Sandyshores,
I also just got the dreaded "JUST FRIEND" from someone I had given my heart to I did a post about music and healing and got lots of great songs to take me through the entire grief cycle fairly quickly. It took me about two days total. Spent a lot of time just sitting and listening to the soundtrack from the Last Unicorn.
http://www.collarchat.com/m_1824789/mpage_2/key_/tm.htm#1826119 is the link to my music post.

Hope the healing goes well and that we both make better choices about giving our heart away in the future.
Peace



subsfaith -> RE: How to heal? (5/6/2008 2:45:31 PM)

Duck (1982, 1992) suggested a four-stage relationship disolution model, which is defined as a sequence through which most long term relationships proceed if they finally break down.

1.  INTRAPSYHIC PHASE - 'I can 't stand this anymore'
A person reflects on the relationship and tends to focus on the partner's behaviours.

2. DYADIC PHASE - 'I'd be justified in withdrawing'
When you decide to do something about it.  Characterised by avoidance and negotiation.

3.  SOCIAL PHASE - 'I mean it'
Seek a new element in the relationship, i.e. turn to friends, social networks (Collar Me forums).

4.  GRAVE DRESS PHASE - 'It's now inevitable'
A person realises the relationship is over.  Tries to construct sense of what whappened - the post mortem and public distribution of own version.

I know that I, in the past, have been able to identify with all of those groups.

So to the OP, looks to me like you are well on your way to being over it.

Best wishes,
Faith
:: smiles ::




Sandyshores29718 -> RE: How to heal? (5/6/2008 3:29:01 PM)

Countrysong:  Thanks :)

subsfaith:  :) thanks


i already feel a ton better. Last night i cried and had a couple drinks and went to get and had a good nights rest.  i know its not the end of the world and i've just need to remind myself of that.  Thanks everyone for being so wonderful and helpful.



StormsSlave -> RE: How to heal? (5/6/2008 4:07:32 PM)

Eat chocolate.  Lots of chocolate.  Oh, and realize that it's not so much a D/S thing as it is a relationship thing.  I've felt the way you feel after vanilla relationships.  It sucks.  I'm sorry for you.  Sending out a mental hug for you.



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