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RE: How to heal? - 5/6/2008 11:51:51 AM

OldBastardly1

Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
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But what if you say it and He replies with " ummmm...thanks"?

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"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad

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RE: How to heal? - 5/6/2008 12:11:38 PM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
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it doesn't matter, I'm not looking for anything back, just to make my feelings known.

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Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

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RE: How to heal? - 5/6/2008 12:34:42 PM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
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Grieve and reflect and don't lay all the blame on yourself. It takes two to make it work. Only time heals, just enjoy being with you for a bit. Hang out with friends and move on with your life.

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RE: How to heal? - 5/6/2008 12:45:53 PM

CountrySong

Posts: 554
Joined: 1/25/2008
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Hi Sandyshores,
I also just got the dreaded "JUST FRIEND" from someone I had given my heart to I did a post about music and healing and got lots of great songs to take me through the entire grief cycle fairly quickly. It took me about two days total. Spent a lot of time just sitting and listening to the soundtrack from the Last Unicorn.
http://www.collarchat.com/m_1824789/mpage_2/key_/tm.htm#1826119 is the link to my music post.

Hope the healing goes well and that we both make better choices about giving our heart away in the future.
Peace

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RE: How to heal? - 5/6/2008 2:45:31 PM

subsfaith

Posts: 297
Joined: 11/21/2006
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Duck (1982, 1992) suggested a four-stage relationship disolution model, which is defined as a sequence through which most long term relationships proceed if they finally break down.

1. INTRAPSYHIC PHASE - 'I can 't stand this anymore'
A person reflects on the relationship and tends to focus on the partner's behaviours.

2. DYADIC PHASE - 'I'd be justified in withdrawing'
When you decide to do something about it. Characterised by avoidance and negotiation.

3. SOCIAL PHASE - 'I mean it'
Seek a new element in the relationship, i.e. turn to friends, social networks (Collar Me forums).

4. GRAVE DRESS PHASE - 'It's now inevitable'
A person realises the relationship is over. Tries to construct sense of what whappened - the post mortem and public distribution of own version.

I know that I, in the past, have been able to identify with all of those groups.

So to the OP, looks to me like you are well on your way to being over it.

Best wishes,
Faith
:: smiles ::

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RE: How to heal? - 5/6/2008 3:29:01 PM

Sandyshores29718

Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
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Countrysong: Thanks :)

subsfaith: :) thanks

i already feel a ton better. Last night i cried and had a couple drinks and went to get and had a good nights rest. i know its not the end of the world and i've just need to remind myself of that. Thanks everyone for being so wonderful and helpful.

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RE: How to heal? - 5/6/2008 4:07:32 PM

StormsSlave

Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
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Eat chocolate. Lots of chocolate. Oh, and realize that it's not so much a D/S thing as it is a relationship thing. I've felt the way you feel after vanilla relationships. It sucks. I'm sorry for you. Sending out a mental hug for you.

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