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Hippiekinkster -> RE: meeting with prespective sub (5/6/2008 1:25:26 AM)
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Where in NY are you?
Compliment her on something - her hair, her eyes, her hands; make sure it's a part of her. I like eyes, myself. I love looking into a woman's eyes. Use the word "lovely": "wow, you have such lovely eyes. What a wonderful surprise."
Meet at a place that has hot cocoa. That's kinda decadent. Pick up a medium-sized box of some good chocolates. Artesanal, if possible. As an example, I gave a woman a box of mixed from Daniel, in Vancouver. Hand-made.
Use a light natural scent; don't use cologne or whatever. I like several scents. tangerine, cucumber, lavender, vanilla, eucalyptus. Especially tangerine, But I make my own soaps, so that's easy for me. Tangerine, I love it. After you wash your hair, squeeze half a tangerine and use the juice in your hair, behind your ears, on your neck, and so on. When you meet, maybe give her a light hug (make sure you are close, somehow) so she can catch a scent.
Talk about her. Don't babble on about yourself. Plenty of time for that. Get to know HER. And not just superficial shit. Ask about her family, what her grandparents were like, what customs she grew up with. Askj about her adventures. Ask her "if you could..." travel anywhere, meet anyone, stuff like that. Favorite movies, actors, and such. Watch a couple good chick flicks before you meet her (I like chick flicks far more than war/sports/car crash/shoot-em-ups, myself. SO do most women. Watch SHakespeare in Love, Dangerous Liaisons, An Ideal Husband, Bridget Jones' Diary, The Importance of Being Earnest. les Miserables (Neeson/Thurman), Man in the Iron Mask, and so on. get a feel for them (I like themk because I like things like plot, character development, dialogue, and all that shit that happens in between car crashes hahaha).
be relaxed. She's at least as uptight as you. I always say, "I know we are supposed to be on our "best behavior" on a first date, but I'm not a good actor. let's just be who we are, OK?"
Have someplace to go after the coffeehouse, if it goes good. Find a shop that has old movie posters, and go browse while you talk. Go ride the Staten Island ferry back and forth, just for grins. use your imagination.
If she's a disappointment, do NOT let it show. She's a human, just like you, and she has feelings.
Tip the servers where you go well. Don't go goofy, and give out a fifty for two cups of cocoa, but don't be a cheap bastard, either. Ask for the manager and compliment your server to him, in front of your date. (shows your date you try and find the good in things.)
Hold doors open, and all that. That's just manners, anyway.
Don't talk about sex unless SHE brings it up, and don't go overboard if she does. If she wants to take it further, make sure you have a couple rubbers, and empasize you never do this, but she is just so special, and so on. MEAN IT.
When you part, regardless of whether you do make it together or not, if you like her, make sure she knows it. Tell her how much you liked being with her, how natural it felt being together, how you feel you have a connection, how much you would REALLY like to get to know her more, and learn more about each other.
Be cool and calm.
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