How many of the Masters (Full Version)

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fyreredsub -> How many of the Masters (10/16/2005 7:35:42 PM)

make it a practice of interviewing more than one submissive at a time?
if that is the methodology employed,do any of ya'll feel that in doing so takes away from the process of getting to know someone?
Could you give some of the reasons why you may use this method?



mnottertail -> RE: How many of the Masters (10/16/2005 7:43:06 PM)

Because it is doable. Because it is the net. Because it is not always going to lead to a culmination............it is the way that women have winnowed for time immemorial. Sooner or later (not every one cracks right away, you see) you can whittle it down to a couple and then the right fit (hopefully). I wouldn't go whole hog and say it disingenious to serially and intensely inspect everything trotted by the gate. Mistakes are made on all sides for sure, hopefully in the end it works out right for everyone.



JohnWarren -> RE: How many of the Masters (10/16/2005 7:45:38 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub

make it a practice of interviewing more than one submissive at a time?
if that is the methodology employed,do any of ya'll feel that in doing so takes away from the process of getting to know someone?
Could you give some of the reasons why you may use this method?


I "interview" people as I meet them. While it's uncommon to find more than one potential play partner (if that) at any given party or event, there have been times at large conventions where we've met three or more people with whom we think we'd like to play. It could be pretty silly to tell two of them "wait until next year." Usually we spend a bit of time getting to know the person and then do a bit of play either in our room or in the dungeon. Sometimes the play has to wait a bit and then we have him or her visit us at home or meet us at another event.

There's really no "one firm rule." We usually play it pretty much by ear.



Delvin -> RE: How many of the Masters (10/16/2005 7:46:06 PM)

Actually, once I find the girl I wish to interview, I will follow it to its end, be it having her come and serve or moving on looking for another. Finding one girl with the qualities I want can be daunting much less two or more.

One at a time for me. Once I have decided to take her, then formal training begins, and finally lifetime service.

D



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: How many of the Masters (10/16/2005 8:37:29 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub
make it a practice of interviewing more than one submissive at a time?

I don't "interview" anyone, I'm never actively seeking anything. But I'm often going out and always open to meeting new people.
quote:


if that is the methodology employed,do any of ya'll feel that in doing so takes away from the process of getting to know someone?

No.
quote:


Could you give some of the reasons why you may use this method?

Because until there's a promised commitment, expectations should be kept reasonable. Why limit yourself when you should all just have fun?



ProtagonistLily -> RE: How many of the Masters (10/16/2005 8:51:09 PM)

quote:

make it a practice of interviewing more than one submissive at a time?
if that is the methodology employed,do any of ya'll feel that in doing so takes away from the process of getting to know someone?
Could you give some of the reasons why you may use this method?


What kind of interview are you talking about exactly? Are you suggesting that a Dominant who has shown interest in you should stop talking to other woman because he spoke to you? That's asking a lot.

Now, if he's started a relationship with you and he's still bird-dogging other women, and he hasn't identified himself as poly or as not monogomous, then you have reason to question.

Just because a man (kink or vanilla has no bearing here) says hello to you, it's a lot to expect him not to say hello to someone else too. ~shrug~

Lily



OscarHargraves -> RE: How many of the Masters (10/16/2005 9:09:13 PM)

I only interview on Wednesday from 9 AM to noon. Get in line early or you'll miss out............ yeah, right! lol.

I can't speak for any others but this has never been a problem for me. I have never had a CHANCE to interview more than one Sub at a time. There aren't any clubs or munches (that I know of here) and there just doesn't seem to be that many ladies in NM looking for a Dom like me.



Raphael -> RE: How many of the Masters (10/17/2005 3:33:54 AM)

When I was 'interviewing' absolutely I would be talking with several girls at once.

There may be many interested, but in the end most pairings wind up unsuited. Which takes significant time to find out in some cases.

If I had only talked to one at a time, it would have taken roughly ten years to get to the point I actually got in 1 (rough estimates, plus or minus a month or so on the small side.) Which would have been a silly waste of both my time and the girls'.

I certainly would expect the girls are doing the same, and know for a fact many were. One was apparently upset and insulted that I wasn't talking to her exclusively when that came up, which was doubly silly in her case, as it turned out she'd had a boyfriend the whole time we were talking (something I only found out after talking to her for several months, although she swore she wasn't being deceptive about it.)

When and if you go past the talking stage, then it makes sense to worry about such things, but not before.



fyreredsub -> RE: How many of the Masters (10/17/2005 9:00:44 AM)

this is a philosphy that can be understood.Thank you.


quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Sooner or later (not every one cracks right away, you see) you can whittle it down to a couple and then the right fit (hopefully). Mistakes are made on all sides for sure, hopefully in the end it works out right for everyone.




fyreredsub -> RE: How many of the Masters (10/17/2005 9:02:37 AM)

Thank you for your input. this girl meant in more than a casual play scenario.
Perhaps interviewing for a ltr slave contract would be a better explanation of the thought behind the question.



fyreredsub -> RE: How many of the Masters (10/17/2005 9:04:37 AM)

this mindset is much more doable in this girls eyes but not all think along these terms.It stands to reason that questioning one on training and methods etc...it would be hard to keep up w/ how the different parties respond and react.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Delvin

Actually, once I find the girl I wish to interview, I will follow it to its end, be it having her come and serve or moving on looking for another. Finding one girl with the qualities I want can be daunting much less two or more.

One at a time for me. Once I have decided to take her, then formal training begins, and finally lifetime service.

D





fyreredsub -> RE: How many of the Masters (10/17/2005 9:06:24 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2




Because until there's a promised commitment, expectations should be kept reasonable. Why limit yourself when you should all just have fun?


thanks,this makes a great deal of sense. all the various inputs from the posters leaves some food for thought.



fyreredsub -> RE: How many of the Masters (10/17/2005 9:08:56 AM)

no this girls doesnt feel that way.Matter of fact, she thinks all speaking should be continued so that the Dom doesn't feel like he has left anything out w/ potential candidates.
much more than 'hello' was what this girl meant by the question.definately in terms of an ltr commitment... not the getting to know one to see if they would be compatable.



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: How many of the Masters (10/17/2005 9:29:55 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub
this mindset is much more doable in this girls eyes but not all think along these terms.It stands to reason that questioning one on training and methods etc...it would be hard to keep up w/ how the different parties respond and react.

If he can't keep up with it- that's just a good sign that he's not a good manager and takes on too much for himself, eh?



JohnWarren -> RE: How many of the Masters (10/17/2005 9:30:40 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub

Thank you for your input. this girl meant in more than a casual play scenario.
Perhaps interviewing for a ltr slave contract would be a better explanation of the thought behind the question.


I should note that a number of people we've met in the way I described have become long term relationships. For example, Rio, Libby's personal slave, came to us when Libby wanted a volunteer for a infibulation waxing. Now, she's in the process of moving so she can follow us from Boston to Florida next month.

It's just that we don't ever meet or even play with anyone expecting or implying that a long term relationship will result. We've found that this kind of expectation puts exactly the wrong kind of pressure on the nascent relationship and can actually interfer with its growing into something more.



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: How many of the Masters (10/17/2005 9:33:47 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren


quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub

Thank you for your input. this girl meant in more than a casual play scenario.
Perhaps interviewing for a ltr slave contract would be a better explanation of the thought behind the question.


I should note that a number of people we've met in the way I described have become long term relationships. For example, Rio, Libby's personal slave, came to us when Libby wanted a volunteer for a infibulation waxing. Now, she's in the process of moving so she can follow us from Boston to Florida next month.

It's just that we don't ever meet or even play with anyone expecting or implying that a long term relationship will result. We've found that this kind of expectation puts exactly the wrong kind of pressure on the nascent relationship and can actually interfer with its growing into something more.

I agree, I think you need to slow down and just explore, get to know people and yourself, and not get so caught up in having "the relationship."



PrairieMan -> RE: How many of the Masters (10/17/2005 2:02:08 PM)

Interviewing in itself lends to multiple interviewees, as does the quickness that submissives and slaves are taken up. Though it seems ingenuous to be writing several people, I have found that less that 10% respond at all, so if I concentrated on one individual, patiently waiting xx days for no response, then I am wasting my time. Some of the people I contact also seem offended if asked a direct question, such as "Do you have any medical conditions?" To Me, this is a simple, non-judgmental question. I have had several responses that seem to think this is a gross invasion of privacy not to be tolerated by anyone. So as time goes on, I have found to interview several interests, discard the no-shows and the angry, and I am much more content. It is not a slight to others, just a fact of life.



fyreredsub -> RE: How many of the Masters (10/17/2005 3:40:50 PM)

how about this for an example, the Master/Dom has a 90 trial period for his slave/sub to go through before considering if keeping them around for a longer contract. Should more than one be kept under this type of method if none of the parties are poly?Or would it be a to each their own philosophy?



fyreredsub -> RE: How many of the Masters (10/17/2005 3:43:38 PM)

now this makes total sense to me as to why it may be done.


quote:

ORIGINAL: PrairieMan

Interviewing in itself lends to multiple interviewees, as does the quickness that submissives and slaves are taken up. Though it seems ingenuous to be writing several people, I have found that less that 10% respond at all, so if I concentrated on one individual, patiently waiting xx days for no response, then I am wasting my time. Some of the people I contact also seem offended if asked a direct question, such as "Do you have any medical conditions?" To Me, this is a simple, non-judgmental question. I have had several responses that seem to think this is a gross invasion of privacy not to be tolerated by anyone. So as time goes on, I have found to interview several interests, discard the no-shows and the angry, and I am much more content. It is not a slight to others, just a fact of life.




fyreredsub -> RE: How many of the Masters (10/17/2005 3:45:07 PM)

never would that thought have crossed this girls mind.thanks!

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2


quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub
this mindset is much more doable in this girls eyes but not all think along these terms.It stands to reason that questioning one on training and methods etc...it would be hard to keep up w/ how the different parties respond and react.

If he can't keep up with it- that's just a good sign that he's not a good manager and takes on too much for himself, eh?




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