RE: Thanking a Master/Dom

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RiotGirl -> RE: Thanking a Master/Dom (10/19/2005 9:54:28 AM)
Nope. i get cut off quite frequently. LOL i also tend to talk too much once i get going. Master is always cutting me off for some reason or another. He wants to hear how the car is driving, a song he likes came on the radio, he doesnt like what i'm saying. Ummmmm.... i know there's a million and one reasons. But he never threatens punishment, mostly likely because i close my mouth when he does. LOL i dont want to imagine what his response would be if i continued on like he hadnt shushed me. He's a variety of ways when it comes to shushing too. = ) simple hand gesture, finger to the lips, telling me, turning music up louder, diverting his attention else where. i'm sure there's more but memory isnt serving me today. When i'm cut off, or shushed as i prefer to call it, i usually stay there quietly and wonder why if i havent already been told. And if i've been told, i join in.

RexLongBeach -> RE: Thanking a Master/Dom (10/19/2005 10:06:23 AM)
I think it's really wierd that someone would be threatened with punishment for a simple thank you. Giving thanks is courteous, appreciative behavior and appropriate for Dom and sub. On the other hand, some folks DO talk too much, interrupt, or use a thank yous as a form of performance art. It's usually pretty easy to tell which is which. Yours in manners, Rex

fyreredsub -> RE: Thanking a Master/Dom (10/19/2005 10:34:37 AM)
i'll clear it up a bit.... the sub gave a simple thank you for being given permission to play w/ herself. no drama, no long yacking etc.... its been noted that the particular DOm in question has been inconsistant w/ his rules of late so who knows........ quote: ORIGINAL: RexLongBeach I think it's really wierd that someone would be threatened with punishment for a simple thank you. Giving thanks is courteous, appreciative behavior and appropriate for Dom and sub. On the other hand, some folks DO talk too much, interrupt, or use a thank yous as a form of performance art. It's usually pretty easy to tell which is which. Yours in manners, Rex

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Thanking a Master/Dom (10/19/2005 10:48:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fyreredsub i'll clear it up a bit.... the sub gave a simple thank you for being given permission to play w/ herself. no drama, no long yacking etc.... its been noted that the particular DOm in question has been inconsistant w/ his rules of late so who knows........ Inconsistency isn't fun, but it's also not the end of the world. Given just this information alone, that it was a one-time deal, I don't see any wrong-doing on any part. I personally would just chalk it up to the dom having a weird night and move on. If it REALLY irked me, I might wait until a good discussion time and ask about it. Now, this, in conjunction with a lot of other things, might signal a deeper management problem. That should be discussed as necessary. Otherwise, this alone doesn't really mean much.

fyreredsub -> RE: Thanking a Master/Dom (10/19/2005 2:11:52 PM)
unfortunately,the inconsistancy is being noted more and more....in a few situations. i would chalk it up to his newness but for one that craves/needs rituals and protocol, it is difficult.

fyreredsub -> RE: Thanking a Master/Dom (10/19/2005 2:13:39 PM)
i am a chatterbox from hell when first meeting someone, i identified w/ these scenarios,as of yet it hasn't happened w/ meeting any Doms tho. quote: ORIGINAL: RiotGirl Nope. i get cut off quite frequently. LOL i also tend to talk too much once i get going. Master is always cutting me off for some reason or another. He wants to hear how the car is driving, a song he likes came on the radio, he doesnt like what i'm saying. Ummmmm.... i know there's a million and one reasons. But he never threatens punishment, mostly likely because i close my mouth when he does. LOL i dont want to imagine what his response would be if i continued on like he hadnt shushed me. He's a variety of ways when it comes to shushing too. = ) simple hand gesture, finger to the lips, telling me, turning music up louder, diverting his attention else where. i'm sure there's more but memory isnt serving me today. When i'm cut off, or shushed as i prefer to call it, i usually stay there quietly and wonder why if i havent already been told. And if i've been told, i join in.

Soulhuntre -> RE: Thanking a Master/Dom (10/20/2005 11:33:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fyreredsub i'll clear it up a bit.... the sub gave a simple thank you for being given permission to play w/ herself. no drama, no long yacking etc.... I can still think of a lot of times even that small sentance would be inappropritate. Hell in a "hih protocol" situation it would be punishable in many circumstances. quote: ORIGINAL: fyreredsub its been noted that the particular DOm in question has been inconsistant w/ his rules of late so who knows........ Sometimes consistency is esential - in some sorts of training, for example - but in general it is not necessary for the dominant to maintain consistency. Obedience is not conditional on consistence certainly and good service is alost defined as being able to handle changes well :)

fyreredsub -> RE: Thanking a Master/Dom (10/20/2005 3:30:23 PM)
i just figured it was b/c he was new to the lifestyle and didn't yet know exactly what he was doing or wanted. it doesn't matter anymore but i will keep in the back of my mind adapting to rules changing can be good for a sub. i've always been pretty quick on my feet so no worries here quote: ORIGINAL: Soulhuntre quote: ORIGINAL: fyreredsub i'll clear it up a bit.... the sub gave a simple thank you for being given permission to play w/ herself. no drama, no long yacking etc.... I can still think of a lot of times even that small sentance would be inappropritate. Hell in a "hih protocol" situation it would be punishable in many circumstances. quote: ORIGINAL: fyreredsub its been noted that the particular DOm in question has been inconsistant w/ his rules of late so who knows........ Sometimes consistency is esential - in some sorts of training, for example - but in general it is not necessary for the dominant to maintain consistency. Obedience is not conditional on consistence certainly and good service is alost defined as being able to handle changes well :)

Soulhuntre -> RE: Thanking a Master/Dom (10/21/2005 12:20:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fyreredsub i just figured it was b/c he was new to the lifestyle and didn't yet know exactly what he was doing or wanted. That may very well be. And I would consider that something of a plus really. Would you really want someone who felt compelled to stick with the same rules and orders for the rest of his life without re-evaluating, changing or adapting them as he learned more? quote: ORIGINAL: fyreredsub it doesn't matter anymore but i will keep in the back of my mind adapting to rules changing can be good for a sub. One of the reasons we do things the way we do them when we train folks here is exactly this. They wind up having to smoothly transition between 4 sets of preferences and protocols... knowing which to use and why. It leaves them being fairly good at this sort of thing and much less 'fragile' in a consistency sense.

IronBear -> RE: Thanking a Master/Dom (10/21/2005 2:23:53 AM)
If a girl wishes to display good manners and thank me for something, I'll take the time to listed and reply to her. If she is owned, I'll complement her Master as well and thank him for the use of his property. Good maners is a lubricant to a pleasant social interaction (or any other form of interaction too). If I'm dealing with a chatterbox she may be told to get to the point or just give me the essentials and we can go into the details later if my time is short or I'm busy. However, If I'm writing slaves soon learn to leave me alone untill i indicate I'm ready to talk. (I tend to be writing three to four paragraphs behind what I have composed in my mind and it is a real pain in the ass when some one blows sentances out of your mind). Punishment? No, not unless she ignors my command to wait or to tell me later and then she is punished for disobedience only.

pinkpleasures -> RE: Thanking a Master/Dom (10/21/2005 8:21:42 AM)
i am not speaking from experience in BDSM...but i had a mentor, a lawyer, and would try to thank him for teaching me what to do...and he did not want to hear it. But on Boss' day i sent him a planter, which had pride of place on his desk. i think he wanted acknowledgement but did not want to take a chance i'd get too personal in speaking. He was right to be concerned; i was in love with him and it was unrequited. pinkpleasures

crimsontied4u -> RE: Thanking a Master/Dom (10/21/2005 8:48:45 AM)
Knowing when someone is nearing their bedtime,I prefer that they get their rest for the next dayI Not cutting them off for the sake of cutting them off,but wanting them to get their rest,which,the next day they would need all the energy for chores and play! I prefer a fully rested sub/slave to be available at my beckoning!!

fyreredsub -> RE: Thanking a Master/Dom (10/22/2005 6:51:22 AM)
no matter who my DOM/Master will be , hopefully he will be a man that conitnues to learn and seek self-improvement as I do. quote: ORIGINAL: Soulhuntre quote: ORIGINAL: fyreredsub i just figured it was b/c he was new to the lifestyle and didn't yet know exactly what he was doing or wanted. That may very well be. And I would consider that something of a plus really. Would you really want someone who felt compelled to stick with the same rules and orders for the rest of his life without re-evaluating, changing or adapting them as he learned more? quote: ORIGINAL: fyreredsub it doesn't matter anymore but i will keep in the back of my mind adapting to rules changing can be good for a sub. One of the reasons we do things the way we do them when we train folks here is exactly this. They wind up having to smoothly transition between 4 sets of preferences and protocols... knowing which to use and why. It leaves them being fairly good at this sort of thing and much less 'fragile' in a consistency sense. for me it is a case, of being in control all the time and needing to have the outlet of someone else in charge, being new myself to being submissive , i will run all over a man if he doesnt establish his firmness/rules immediately,i'm too stubborn of a woman and having been a top for awhile in this lifestyle.....i need strong control , but while one is doing the whole playing w/ others thing and its o/l not real life, well it just didnt work for me, didnt feel like submission to a DOM at all,started to feel like BS and i was getting bored, the inconsistancy and it on the net , nah, just didnt do it for me(not too mention a few other reasons,lol)

MastersBabieGirl -> RE: Thanking a Master/Dom (11/21/2005 9:03:17 AM)
i think its odd for someone not to hear a thank you and to be appreciated im soo glad that my master expects a thank you i wouldnt dream of not thanking him anyway but its a small getsture that means something imho

GentileDomNY -> RE: Thanking a Master/Dom (11/21/2005 10:40:28 AM)
I may be coming from the wrong place, because I would expect the Thank You, and a punishment would probably come if the Thank You didn't. It would obviously have to be at an appropriate time, which could be close in time and somewhat spontanious. The manner of the Thank You would depend on the circumstances, but its very hard for me to concieve of any circumstances that would punish a Thank You of an appropriate type at an appropriate time.

MasterRobert1 -> RE: Thanking a Master/Dom (11/21/2005 11:41:46 AM)
Vanilla world, kinky world; time is everything. Sounds like someone needs to work on their timing. Requesting Master to help you work on your timing is a thought.

Webmaster60 -> RE: Thanking a Master/Dom (11/22/2005 6:59:07 AM)
quote: It seems from this thread that many people think that a good Master should behave like a total shit. Hmm.. ::nods:: ok I find myself to be fairly stern. I'm not prone to take a whole lot of shit from a slave, especially in negative non-verbal communication. I will say however, that there is NEVER any excuse for a lack of manners. Consideration for a human being, (slaves being human) is always necessary. I can be rough, short, directing, commanding, correcting and dominating without being an ass about it. This kind of subliminal negativism is not only unacceptable, its also unnecessary. If I'm pissed at a girl, there is no doubt in her mind about it. Some of us, sometimes unknowingly, get on a pompus god complex.. I can crush negative behavior, but the goal should NEVER be to crush the spirit.

plantlady64 -> RE: Thanking a Master/Dom (11/22/2005 8:41:38 AM)
Hello There, With my Master I am allowed to thank him any time I want to. He prefers an open communication between us at all times. If I have any good thoughts or bad thoughts he wants to know them. There are times where I reserve my comments till we are alone, especially if we are in a lifestyle environment. Other than being polite about when I approach him I'm permitted to give him feedback always. Sincerely, sub suzanne

fyreredsub -> RE: Thanking a Master/Dom (11/22/2005 12:57:05 PM)
i think that is appropriate behavior and quite agree w/ you. I'm lol tho cause this thread is still alive.I must not be the only one that had an issue w/ this at one time. quote: ORIGINAL: plantlady64 Hello There, With my Master I am allowed to thank him any time I want to. He prefers an open communication between us at all times. If I have any good thoughts or bad thoughts he wants to know them. There are times where I reserve my comments till we are alone, especially if we are in a lifestyle environment. Other than being polite about when I approach him I'm permitted to give him feedback always. Sincerely, sub suzanne

crimsontied4u -> RE: Thanking a Master/Dom (11/23/2005 8:51:55 AM)
I have studied and learned a lot from all of you!!!!!! Believe it or not!!

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