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Slaves dilema - 5/6/2008 10:05:57 AM   
ElkGroveSlave


Posts: 1
Joined: 9/15/2007
From: Elk Grove, Ca.
Status: offline 		I am a married man and have been serving my Mistress/wife for the last 5 years very obediantly. I have been well trained and the training changed me into a total submissive eager to serve a dominant superior woman. However I find myself with a huge problem because my Mistress has become more interested in being submissive herself.

She started cuckolding me about two years ago and it was great. Her lover at the time was very interested in using me as was Mistress. He has moved and she took on several new lovers all of whom are dominant over her. About 6 months ago she told me she did not want to be dominant anymore over me and she gave me the key back to my chastity device. This is killing me because I cannot just change back. She trained me and I am a true submissive now. There is no going back for me. I have not even taken myself out of chastity and as a result have not orgasmed in that time period, only milking myself for relief.

My problem now is that most dommes will not have anything to do with a married sub. I still love my wife and will not leave her but I am literally aching to serve a woman, to be her footstool, to clean for her, to worship her feet, to be punished for her delight and amusement, and everything else that goes with me being owned.

I basically have her permission to serve but she does not want to know about it but again most Mistresses will not take on a married sub. I am stuck in the middle here and really need some advice. I would appreciate any suggestions anyone might have. Should I just try and rediscover my former alpha male?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Slaves dilema - 5/6/2008 10:19:55 AM   
LadyLynx


Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		While yes alot of women have no interest in married men,(even if their wives know about it.) there are some women out there who are.  My advice, (which seems to be a standard piece of advice.) Have you checked out your local community? Take the time and get to know ladies, and hopefully a woman will take the chance.

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(in reply to ElkGroveSlave)
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RE: Slaves dilema - 5/6/2008 10:22:50 AM   
Sylverdawn


Posts: 1123
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Well I would say your btwn a cock and a hard place.. no seriously.. I think you need to have a serious talk with you wife.. perhaps you could find a Mistress or Master to serve together or a couple... communication is the key to any relationship. Yours appears to be in dysfunctional mode right now and you need to talk to your life partner about YOUR LIFE..



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(in reply to LadyLynx)
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RE: Slaves dilema - 5/6/2008 10:25:38 AM   
MladyHathor


Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline 		My recommendation is to pursue your needs and dreams, but be honest about your situation and be patient as it may take time. Wish you well-

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(in reply to ElkGroveSlave)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Slaves dilema - 5/6/2008 10:43:19 AM   
BoiJen


Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline 		The only question I actually have out of this is...When guys tal about milking...do they actually enjoy themselves sexually? I know they say they don't expereince orgasm and all...and yet I tend to think that's a hoax on the part of most males who are egar to spill their spunk and get off. Just an opinion and trying to find out from someone does it.

(in reply to MladyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Slaves dilema - 5/6/2008 10:48:58 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I have three comments for you.  The first is what I tell anyone who is involved in a dynamic/relationship/marriage/whatever where one of the people involved wants to change the circumstances of the collar/contract/pick a term that suits you.  There are exactly two choices.  Either accept the change and move forward with your partner, or come to the decision that the change is not acceptable and move on.  Only you and your partner can come to terms with the decision.

Second, I don't want to make any general statement about most Dommes.  Depending on the situation, some Dommes will accept a married sub.  There are always poly folks or those who can work with the situation.  You might want to talk to your wife about helping you and see how willing she is to help you in your search and other things that will set you apart from the 'behind the back' type scenerios.  Is she willing to meet with prospective Dommes with you? 

Third, I suggest the two of you sit down and talk about how to proceed.  Decide what is acceptable and what is not, for each of you.  What limits, if any, does she have about you serving others?  Will you be permitted to spend time away from her to do that?  How is her own journey progressing?  It seems like there is a lot in front of you. 

Good luck to you.


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(in reply to ElkGroveSlave)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Slaves dilema - 5/6/2008 1:42:28 PM   
abqowner


Posts: 34
Joined: 5/1/2008
Status: offline 		Well, maybe I'm missing some sort of subtle challenge here, but I think you're looking at a fairly easy solution.  Why not put up a profile as a sub couple?  If she's now only interested in submission, and you're already trained... I don't see any need to break up.  And there's certainly a market for sub couples.  I'd LOVE to collar a couple personally, and though I'm only in the market for slaves, I can't be that unique.  It brings a really facinating dynamic to ownership.  So I'd say just go into it together.

(in reply to ElkGroveSlave)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Slaves dilema - 5/7/2008 12:49:56 AM   
SJSadist


Posts: 7
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline 		"When guys tal about milking"

I have "milked" my subs. You push on both the prostate and the base of the penis just right, and the fluid releases without ejaculation. I suppose it would be possible to do it to yourself. I am told it feels odd and hollow, or like being robbed.

(in reply to BoiJen)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Slaves dilema - 5/7/2008 5:07:24 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Part of being married is working so that both partners are satisfied or at least compromising the same amount. Do you, ElkGroveSlave, think this applied to your marriage?

If not, then you two, not any of us, need to address the problem. If you can't/won't address it as a married couple, then you need to address it individually but that might lead to the end of your marriage.

My guess based on what little your OP supplies is that your wife was never a dominant so much as she was service topping/domming you and taking the opportunity to explore her own sexuality. Sadly she stopped fulfilling your desires and discovered that her own were incompatible.

Look at all the suggestions the other responders have made then sit down with your wife, as husband and wife, and discuss how this isn't working well right now and whether or not you both wish to work on things so that each of you gets what is desired and needed. I'd recommend taking the damn chastity device off so you can meet closer to equals.

It will be scary to have this discussion because you are risky her saying "Our marriage just isn't that important to me any more." Wouldn't you rather know that and get into a grieving process now so you can heal and move on than building up frustrations and possibly anger?

She might also attempt to cling to her former authority by telling you that if you were her slave you'd do as she asks. Be very wary here because to me that becomes a convenient excuse for one partner to be completely selfish and reject her responsibility in a relationship.

Of course she may also say "Yes, our marriage is important so let's work on some compromise."

You won't know until you have a serious discussion as equal partners in your marriage.

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(in reply to ElkGroveSlave)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Slaves dilema - 5/7/2008 10:22:30 AM   
Pyrrsefanie


Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ElkGroveSlave
My problem now is that most dommes will not have anything to do with a married sub. I still love my wife and will not leave her but I am literally aching to serve a woman, to be her footstool, to clean for her, to worship her feet, to be punished for her delight and amusement, and everything else that goes with me being owned.

I basically have her permission to serve but she does not want to know about it but again most Mistresses will not take on a married sub. I am stuck in the middle here and really need some advice. I would appreciate any suggestions anyone might have. Should I just try and rediscover my former alpha male?


That first line, second paragraph:  "I basically have her permission to serve but she does not want to know about it."

Number one, define "basically."  Either you have her permission, or you don't.  There's no in between on this matter.  Has she come right out and said that you are allowed to serve another woman?  This is why a lot of Dommes won't even touch a married man -- in a very small number of cases are the wives actually okay with him going to another woman, and we don't like to be homewreckers.

But I'm also concerned by the idea of her saying "Do it, but don't tell me about it."  From a psychological standpoint that probably indicates that she's much less comfortable with it than she wants you to believe, which is only going to lead to trouble should you find another woman to serve.  The idea is a lot different than the reality and if your wife loves you so much that she's trying to do anything to keep you happy regardless of her own true feelings.... well, even happy relationships can only take so much strain before you collapse.

You need to sit down with your wife and talk to her.  Find out what changed her mind, what caused her decision to give you the key back.  If it's something that can be worked out (i.e. she prefers a different style of play) then by all means, work it out.  You could also try giving her some "cooldown time" to see if maybe she's just feeling a little burnt out by the whole thing.  In the meantime that doesn't mean you have to stop taking care of her in other ways... if she's feeling the good ol' Domme burnout then an attentive husband who's willing to kiss and hold and make love to her till she's over it will go a very, very long way.

Good luck at any rate.


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Ти артистична в неволі,
Ти симпатична в цій ролі,
Ти синтетична до болю

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(in reply to ElkGroveSlave)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Slaves dilema - 5/7/2008 10:33:31 AM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline 		ElkGrove,

Dude, is there any part of your life that isn't BDSM driven?  Obviously, everyone has a different level of interest in D/s relationships, but your post and profile indicate nothing more than a vapid, hollow shell of a man save for a desire to wrap yourself around someone's feet.

You have absolutely nothing in your profile about who you are, what you love, or what skills you might bring to a relationship (save what a dominant woman can get for 8 bucks an hour for a cleaning service, for a lot less drama.)  You're obviously unhappy in your marriage and the lack of enthusiasm for anything else suggests you're unhappy with just about every other aspect of your life.  Taking up hobbies and activities that do more than catering to your perceived desires as a slave will make you intrisically more interesting and attractive to others.  Dominant women don't want someone just because they're a good slave; they want someone because they're a good person.  You, Sir, would do well to work on that person.  Try deleting everything in your profile about being a slave, take a look in the mirror, and go back and re-write it without any slave information.

Best of luck to you,

Stephan


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Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to Pyrrsefanie)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Slaves dilema - 5/8/2008 1:55:58 AM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

The only question I actually have out of this is...When guys tal about milking...do they actually enjoy themselves sexually? I know they say they don't expereince orgasm and all...and yet I tend to think that's a hoax on the part of most males who are egar to spill their spunk and get off. Just an opinion and trying to find out from someone does it.

Its no hoax, while their cum dribbles out of thier dick, there is no feeling of orgasm & it keeps them frustrated, as they should B!!!

here a site so you can read about it
http://www.chastitylifestyle.com/chastity/prostate_massage_-_milking.html


Greetingz

GoddezzT`





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~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

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(in reply to BoiJen)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Slaves dilema - 5/8/2008 5:24:23 AM   
malloves69


Posts: 913
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline 		greetings Ms Goddess ..yes being milked by my mistress is very different then when she allows me to cum the old fashioned way  she has the control and power milking the cum i have inside of me with those magical fingers of hers and she loves that  she knows my ass and prostate well totally different feeling i must say ....when she does allow me to cum the old fashion way she loves feeding back my cum as we both watch it drip from her into my open mouth until i swallow it all and lick her clean she usually allows me to cum the old fashioned way as a reward from pleasing her  love a lady in control  have a great trip Ms Teaze ...hugs mal

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Slaves dilema - 5/8/2008 6:24:56 AM   
MsCfromMelbourne


Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		I met a man in a somewhat similar situation.  It was the wife's right as current owner to locate and approve a new Mistress for him.  Only her right.  Not his.

There's something fishy about you trying to find a new owner by yourself.  The whole story would have much more credibility if your wife did the searching or you did it together. 

At least add  to your profile that your wife approves of your search and is available to meet and discuss the situation.

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(in reply to ElkGroveSlave)
Profile   Post #: 14
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