Is she too young? (Full Version)

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SubJordanTyler -> Is she too young? (5/6/2008 5:01:17 PM)

Had something interesting happen to me recently.  As many might know, I regularly dress as a woman - and not some sissy fem thing either.  I make myself completely to be as female as possible - to bring out that feminine side of me.  I rarely ever use that in BDSM, as she's not submissive, but many would still look at it as a fetish.

So the other day I met a girl who just blew me away - attractive to me of course, but there was so much more than that.  I even brought up the crossdressing to her fairly quickly (just felt totally right), and not only did she take to it, she wanted to pick out clothes and dress me!!

That was wonderful, as this is so much a part of me that it's impossible to separate it - anyone for a relationship would have to accept it in some way.  Not only did she accept it, she was all for it and encouraged it.

But here's the dilemma - she's only 19 and I'm 34 in a few weeks.  The way she was dressed (beautiful, classy, refined) and how she carried herself, I was certainly she was 24 or 25 minimum.  So when she said she's 19, I was blown away.  I didn't take it farther than that because the age difference seemed too much.

But it felt right with her - more than most anyone else.  So was I wrong for not doing more even though she's that much younger, especially when she was so accepting of the female side of me??  I do know where to find her again if I so desire, so it's not like she's totally out of the picture.  I'd hate to miss out on that one, right person for something like an age difference.



Lynnxz -> RE: Is she too young? (5/6/2008 5:09:24 PM)

I'd say you should try it out for a bit at least. :)  Just because she's a bit younger doesn't mean a thing- you said it yourself when you said it felt right with her. Why wouldn't you go for it?



RedMagic1 -> RE: Is she too young? (5/6/2008 5:15:02 PM)

I just don't see the downside here.  It's like that "What if I'm more worldly than the Domme?" thread going on right now.  If you're more worldly than the Domme, take her to France with you, or something.  Jeez.

OP, she'll get older, and even more mature than she already is, which sounds like a lot.  Look at the posts of Lynnxz, or colouredin, or LilMissHaven.  They're all in the same age range.  Do they seem like flighty little girls to you?



tolovetolaugh -> RE: Is she too young? (5/6/2008 5:15:46 PM)

If she isn't bothered by it, and you arn't going to stress over it constantly, go for it.



Phin -> RE: Is she too young? (5/6/2008 5:18:29 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SubJordanTyler

But it felt right with her - more than most anyone else. 

you answered your own question. enjoy it.



lalbobbilynn -> RE: Is she too young? (5/6/2008 5:19:14 PM)

You mentioned several times "how right it felt" with her. i would go with that until You, her, or both of You hit a snag that becomes a deal breaker.
Keep one thing at the forefront though, being that she is younger(despite how mature she seems), she has a world of learning to do. Not a bad point, just a point to be mindful of.
Best of luck!
b.~



RumpusParable -> RE: Is she too young? (5/6/2008 5:23:06 PM)

She's an adult, you're an adult.  Worst that happens is it doesn't work out.  If a mutual connection is there, I'd pursue it.



LotusSong -> RE: Is she too young? (5/6/2008 5:24:12 PM)

I'd stay friends with her and enjoy her company..You have lived a good portion of your life..she is just starting out.  Give it time.  Time will be the determining factor as to permanency.
 
Are you the first cross dresser she has known?  It may be just new and unusual enough for her and when the "new" wears off.. you may be left holding your purse. (sorry, couldn't resist [;)]  well, yes I could have but....) 
 
Remember how YOU were when you were 19.  No matter WHAT she looks like.. she's still just 19.
 
And anything can happen..  http://www.collarchat.com/m_1827431/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#1827431



SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Is she too young? (5/6/2008 5:24:55 PM)

~FR~
 
Go for it.  I regularly date younger and it can work just fine.  My fiance is seven years younger and my girl just turned 21 (I'm 37).  Don't let the age gap stand in your way.  There will be plenty of other obstacles to deal with, no reason to sweat the small stuff.
 
You're only as old as the women you feel.  [;)]



SubJordanTyler -> RE: Is she too young? (5/6/2008 5:26:53 PM)

Wow - that was a lot quickly!!  Thanks to everyone so far.  I pretty much agree with everything said.  While I do need to be aware of the age difference in that she still has a lot to go through........if it's right, then it's right - for both.  Young doesn't mean immature, as it was pointed out regarding some of the younger posters here.  I suppose time will tell on that.  I think I do need to find her again and just see what happens.



BoiJen -> RE: Is she too young? (5/6/2008 5:29:08 PM)

I'll see your 15 year difference and rais you two more...MsK will be 39 this year and I just turned 22...we met two years ago.



SubJordanTyler -> RE: Is she too young? (5/6/2008 5:29:30 PM)

Oh - and I don't know if I'm the first CD she knows.  I don't think so though.........as she talked about wanting to go to some of those type clubs here in town, but is just too young to get in.  So she's aware of it all........and when I brought it up, she was like it's no big deal.  She wasn't taken aback or anything.



hopelessfool -> RE: Is she too young? (5/6/2008 5:50:04 PM)

Go for it. Age is a number in most cases. Experience doesnt come with age. I was a grown up *Ie* I could hold conversations with people that were in their 30s and 40s and everyone assumed I was 20 25 when I was a mear little 14 ys/o. So Age really doesnt matter as long as they are over 18. If it squicks you it does remain friends. I always date older. I can learn so much from someone 5 or 10 years older then me. Whats better then having both a lover and partner as well as a teacher? 



ProfJoe -> RE: Is she too young? (5/6/2008 6:10:10 PM)

I'm 23 years older than my girl. Where do you think I'll land on this one?

Given that you're willing to take your time, etc etc etc, I mean.

Prof Joe



MissLily -> RE: Is she too young? (5/6/2008 6:30:10 PM)

Well why not? Personnaly, I've always had older lover. I never really got along with people My age. Just didn't have the same concerns.

As long as you keep in mind that with the age difference, comes certain problems. Just like any realationship really. For one thing, you're not at the same point in life. She's at an age when she needs to plan for her futur. You've already been there and are living what you were planing (hopefully) at her age.

There are things you're probably going to have to think about. For example, you might have been married before and are now divorced. Do you think it would be fair to her if you decide not to mary because you didn't like it and because of that she's robbed of that experience? Same goes with kids.

So I say go for it. Don't let it stop you. Just be mindful of the consequences of your choice.
Miss Lily



SubJordanTyler -> RE: Is she too young? (5/6/2008 6:39:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissLily

Well why not? Personnaly, I've always had older lover. I never really got along with people My age. Just didn't have the same concerns.

As long as you keep in mind that with the age difference, comes certain problems. Just like any realationship really. For one thing, you're not at the same point in life. She's at an age when she needs to plan for her futur. You've already been there and are living what you were planing (hopefully) at her age.

There are things you're probably going to have to think about. For example, you might have been married before and are now divorced. Do you think it would be fair to her if you decide not to mary because you didn't like it and because of that she's robbed of that experience? Same goes with kids.

So I say go for it. Don't let it stop you. Just be mindful of the consequences of your choice.
Miss Lily



Just wanted to add that I've never been married and don't have kids, so that wouldn't be an issue, as that would be new/first for both of us.  But I do realize there can be other issues - this just wouldn't be one of them.

And I'm not going to let the age difference stop me.  [:)]



derfrewop -> RE: Is she too young? (5/6/2008 6:41:54 PM)

10 years difference here. Amazingly, she has managed to remain ten years younger than me for 7 years now. Hope she catches up soon.

Happy Birthday D!



MladyHathor -> RE: Is she too young? (5/6/2008 7:08:23 PM)

My friend MoGa and pup have 29 years between them---age after 18 IMHO is what it is--if it works go for it.



madshysoul -> RE: Is she too young? (5/6/2008 7:21:47 PM)

My Captain has 21 years on me.

It does mean that we're careful to communicate on life-learning issues differently. Phrase things like "Here's what I learned when I went through that experience." rather than "When I was your age....". I find that lets me internally file useful data, but in a manner that is two equals sharing experience... rather than a lecture from an elder.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Is she too young? (5/6/2008 7:54:53 PM)

As always, just don't go into it blindly.  You should be aware of the LIKELY risks and glitches you will experience due to age, just don't project those into predetermined realities.

Otherwise, if you're both open to it, no reason not to explore.



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