RE: tears at bedtime (Full Version)

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MistressDollys -> RE: tears at bedtime (5/8/2008 12:44:56 PM)

i don't cry during play unless being punished by Goddess Bitch Diva or Mistress Dolly.

Recently i was a very bad slave and needed to be punished. In the first round it was as intense as i've ever felt. i wasn't allowed the usual build up then let down to catch up but instead it was 100% from the start. i was on the verge of crying during this but didn't.

During the second round later that day Mistress Dolly watched as Goddess Bitch Diva took floggers, paddles and single tails to me. This session was a little more intense than usual but i was able to breath deeply and enjoy the play. At one point though Mistress Dolly joined in and both Goddess and She proceeded to flog me across the back very hard. For only the second time in my sub-life i had a hard time and almost went down on my knees.

The session ended with Goddess Bitch Diva holding me up as Mistress Dolly paddled my already bruised bottom. The intensity and my shame at disappointing Goddess and Mistress brought up all the bad things i did to them. i couldn't hold my composure anymore and collapsed on the floor crying and apologizing profusely. That night as i remembered the things i did to upset my beautiful owners i cried even more.



xbutterflyx -> RE: tears at bedtime (5/8/2008 1:36:15 PM)

i cry with punishment and lecture time. During play i giggle and when i space i am way beyond giggles enjoying it so much, that it's laughter during that moment. i love it when Sir begins to giggle with me...*giggles*

xbx

smile bunches today xx



softness -> RE: tears at bedtime (5/8/2008 2:00:35 PM)

oh .. tears ... Someone (cant think who) said that the closest He felt to experiencing the sublime was a beautiful woman in tears because of his actions ... I connected with that right away ... someone who can tug genuine tears from me, is One I wish to stay with.

If play is "good" ... then I will cry ... by good I mean it crawls right inside my head and takes me to pieces from the inside. Humiliation and degredation make me cry, fear makes me cry, self loathing makes me cry, intellectual confusion makes me cry, thinking I have failed makes me cry ... but usually .. pure pain doesn't.  I am not setting myself up as the unbreakable sub .. believe me i am a total wuss about pain - big bad bottom I am not.

I find it hard to cry with someone who doesn't know me intimately, its my pride partly ... and also my self defence. Crying before someone ... especially if they caused the tears ... is letting them into a very closely guarded place. There are people who have never and will never make me cry ... even though a lot of play has passed between us .. because they have no desire to connect with my head. ..only with my body

Sometimes my tears are release ... and sometimes they are relief. In the moment when I am hysterical with fear, when I am a worm on the floor of life, when I am worthless scum beneath his boot and would wipe myself clean off the earth to save him the trouble, when panic and pain and self loathing fill me and yet the ongoing desire to submit to it flows from every cell of my body. That is the moment the tears become tears of gratitude and acceptance.

In that moment .. I am in touch with something sublime just as the Man looking at the tears, feels that He is.



jenf -> RE: tears at bedtime (5/8/2008 2:12:13 PM)

i have tears in my eyes sometimes from the physical pain, but i only actively cry, and mean it, when i have disappointed my Master, done something to displease Him, and He lets me know He is disappointed.



yesmaammelbourne -> RE: tears at bedtime (5/8/2008 2:24:28 PM)

Crying during BDSM, for me is a hugely positive thing.  Its so cathartic, and brings me deeper into the subconscious the more I do it.    



Greenlander -> RE: tears at bedtime (5/8/2008 2:25:00 PM)

I am here primarily to hear words like those you have so eloquently written. I did not realise this exactly... until now.
I am not sure how you got on my screen. it was purely by accident. I know the British too well to expect an honest , civil answer. I was one of those awful cold callers trying to sell you timeshare (through a great and well respected company might I add). I didn't search the UK.  I don't know how you came on to the screen.

If I might share a work of art with you, my mind I will convey.
My art is but for a few you see.
Waste I most abhore.

Those very few words are original I truly hope you will understand them and write back. No space can divide like minds.
G



hejira92 -> RE: tears at bedtime (5/8/2008 3:10:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

I find it hard to cry with someone who doesn't know me intimately, its my pride partly ... and also my self defence. Crying before someone ... especially if they caused the tears ... is letting them into a very closely guarded place. There are people who have never and will never make me cry ... even though a lot of play has passed between us .. because they have no desire to connect with my head. ..only with my body



I love everything you have written, but this part really hit me. In all my play and exploration before being owned by Master, I never cried. I could never let myself be vulnerable enough. Now, He wrings my tears out just as He elicits moans and grunts and screams- and all for His enjoyment. Or so I believed.
 
Last night during play, I was in incredible pain, and He knew it. I was just moaning, because He has told me to take it. But then, He leaned in and told me He wanted my tears. As soon as He said that, I could feel them. I cried from behind my blindfold- deep, from-the-gut tears like never before during play.
 
I asked Him later why He had told me to cry. He told me that He thought I was still holding in tears from the fear I had while my son was in the hospital (another thread...).
 
He was purposely using play to help me open up and release emotions. I know play can be cathartic, but this is the first time I have experienced being led to it.



milkbather -> RE: tears at bedtime (5/8/2008 4:30:48 PM)

thank you, all of you,  for your input, its open my eyes to alot of different views, thankyou also for being honest with your thoughts and feelimg



frazzle121 -> RE: tears at bedtime (5/8/2008 4:44:12 PM)

I am allowed to cry during intense physical play, and as He pushes me further i do.

Crying after is normal, its part of the coming back down reaction. The more intense the 'play' the longer it takes me to get my equilibrium back.   Sometimes its just tears, others its actual sobbing. Main thing is, He's there, making sure i'm ok.

A quick cuddle is sometimes all i need, other times it can take Him holding me for 30 minutes. The point is, He's there, reads me like a book and does what is needed.



Bound2One -> RE: tears at bedtime (5/8/2008 4:52:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: milkbather

thank you, all of you,  for your input, its open my eyes to alot of different views, thankyou also for being honest with your thoughts and feelimg


I'd like to post my thanks as well - I've gotten a lot from reading all of your responses.  Thank you for sharing, and milkbather, thanks for the question!



shahla00 -> RE: tears at bedtime (5/8/2008 7:41:24 PM)

I am like some of the others...

I have not during but after when the emotions are calming back down I will....


The 1st time it happend the dom I was with at the time thought that he had hurt me.




chamberqueen -> RE: tears at bedtime (5/9/2008 11:55:50 AM)

I have cried during sex with my Master because it has been so intense (not the pain but the emotions of being "filled" with Him).  I have cried from pain, but one time I cried when my feelings were hurt.  I am allowed to ask for laptime at any point during a session, and He took me on His lap and talked with me about it and simply held me and let me cry.  I had misunderstood what He meant.  The last time anyone held me when I cried was when I was a child.  I see that moment as one of the greatest bonding moments in our continuing journey. 



summersprite -> RE: tears at bedtime (5/10/2008 1:05:11 AM)

i've been close to crying from the intensity of the emotions during play. i know i am going to cry soon. ....i hope He understands when i do. 

And i am a woman who only cries privately so this will be yet another challenge for me.

But i know that the more i submit and the more He cherishes my submission, the more i will open my soul to him. There will be no place i can hide, no place I want to hide....



lubegirl -> RE: tears at bedtime (5/11/2008 3:32:18 AM)

I have shed many tears of joy.
Lubegirl



sweetnurseBBW -> RE: tears at bedtime (5/11/2008 7:07:06 PM)

I cry when things are intense. All the overwhelming sensations just build up and it is a release. It depends on my mood and what is being done.



pettingdragons -> RE: tears at bedtime (5/12/2008 11:35:00 AM)

i cry for many reasons but while scening its more from the break down of emotions, joy of being and gratitude.

pettingdragons
**Master Dragons considered slave**
 



tandm -> RE: tears at bedtime (5/14/2008 8:17:15 AM)

reply to SingleRarity

It is punishment for me, I think that HE gets sexual relief from it.  He always says that it hurts him to have  to punish me, because I am not doing what I am supposed to do, but I KNOW he has a very big "S" factor driving him in this lifestyle. If it is a punishment, no play for me, but for him.    He allows me to have drinks to dull the pain from some of the things that he uses that I really have a hard time with at full senses(but very important for him and he wants to use these punishments).  He has a few divices that I cannot take, to the point that I have to stop everything, so it helps a  ton.  I know that he will not hurt me to a point that it will cause perminate damage, but some things he does  go beyond my pain scope.



meticulousgirl -> RE: tears at bedtime (5/17/2008 8:46:43 PM)

always durring and after but our play involves mainly S&M type stff so i guess that's why

~meticulous~



HieroV -> RE: tears at bedtime (5/17/2008 9:17:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: yesmaammelbourne

Crying during BDSM, for me is a hugely positive thing.  Its so cathartic, and brings me deeper into the subconscious the more I do it.    


Yes, I feel the same way…I rarely cry but there was an experience that happened for me a few months ago that was cathartic.

Pain had been inflicted on me by the lady who was my Master at the time and I cried. I cried because it hurt and yet I saw she enjoyed hurting me, taunting me – that this pain had nothing to do with malice or anger on her part…that it was that she was a sadist and enjoyed hurting me.

She taunted me, sniffing in a sarcastic tone: “Are you going to cry?”

I felt so helpless and vulnerable. I said yes and cried. This was the second time I had ever played publically but I was not ashamed or embarrassed. I knew she would not think less of me for crying – but I had rarely felt that vulnerable before in my life.

Some time later she undid my restraints and I kneeled at her feet. I was trembling, dizzy…

And I looked up and I said: “Thank you for taking care of me.” And for some reason the floodgates opened and I felt myself on the verge of crying really hard but fought it and was confused….and bowed my head down….

She could tell something was up. She gently took my hair in her hand and pulled my head back up so I could look into her eyes. Somehow, she knew – even though I did not.

“Say you deserve someone to take care of you.”

I said it and started crying.

“Say it again.”  It was neutral tone on her part – not cold, not warm.

I said it again and was crying and my entire body shook.

“Say it again.”

I said it again with a dry throat.

“Now you may thank me.”

I thanked her and grasped her legs and cried for a few minutes more.

“Today,” she said, “is the first time I truly feel you are my slave.”

D/S should not be therapy but sometimes amazing things happen.

HieroV



BigBaby -> RE: tears at bedtime (5/24/2008 1:50:27 PM)

    I will hopefully soon be meeting with my new Mommy, we have discussed discipline and I told her I think I should be spanked until I cry which I am sure will not take much as my name indicates I am just a Big Baby lol, I like the idea of tears at bedtime and is an idea of have not confronted her with yet but I am thinking that it would be fun/apprpriate if I were to recieve a spanking it at bedtime put in diapers and placed in my baby bed.....yummy stuff!!! [8D]



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