RE: Tired of Vanilla...

RE: Tired of Vanilla... (Full Version)

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faerytattoodgirl -> RE: Tired of Vanilla... (5/7/2008 11:24:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chaosforge Funny Faery, but maybe not too off base. [:D] .lets see... The Claiming Of Sleeping Beauty, Beautys Punishment, Beauty's Release.

lizcgirl -> RE: Tired of Vanilla... (5/7/2008 12:52:23 PM)
My ex was like that- vanilla, thought what he did WAS extreme, and the whole time I wanted to scream because it wasn't what I wanted! I told him, begged him even. He tied me up, but he was a young hormonal boy: as soon as he saw I was enjoying it, he untied me and expected it to be enough to please me. We talked about it and I will give me credit, he tried. But it never worked. Our relationship failed for other reasons and I moved on, and now am much happier. It's all in your choices. I wasn't emotionally attached enough to be satisified with NEVER being satisified and he tried to please me but just wasn't on the same level as me. My personal opinion- talk to him, see what he's willing to try. But be ready to either accept it won't happen or move on if things don't go your way. If you don't and try to stay, even though you're not happy, it will fail sooner or later. We're all different, compatibility isn't gauranteed.

SlaveSuru -> RE: Tired of Vanilla... (5/7/2008 1:06:14 PM)
My ex of two years was PAINFULLy vanilla. He's even a virgin to this day despite my best attempts to change that. Some men just cannot be what we want them to be. I tried unsucessfully for two years to get him to be at least my " owner" ( I enjoy pet play and thought it might be easier for him to understand) He couldn't even touch any of my toys or anything related to the lifestyle. The most he ever did was jokingly padlock a dog chain around my neck and called me his. he never did anything else, and three days later he said ok the joke's over and undid the dog chain. I went elsewhere for my needs but in order to fully enjoy my need for submission I have to have a deep emotional bond with the person and while I liked my friend it just wasn't the same. Then after we broke up I met my master and He is everything I could have hoped for... I guess it's like they say, you cannot change someone no matter how you love them or they love you. But then again that's just my experience.

OldBastardly1 -> RE: Tired of Vanilla... (5/7/2008 1:12:32 PM)
Is it possible for both of you to go to a BDSM club? One where they actually play? "just to watch other people". If he has a potential for an interest is such activity, this should get him thinking about it more, validating the use of roughness when appropriate. If he has no interest in doing it, you will never change him. Good luck.

Justme696 -> RE: Tired of Vanilla... (5/7/2008 2:38:12 PM)
quote: I am sick of missionary, they way you fuck has nothing to do with the lifestyle

lronitulstahp -> RE: Tired of Vanilla... (5/7/2008 8:07:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: snarkisms My current partner and I are having a bit of problems. He is vanilla. To the enth. I am sick of missionary, and though he seems to like some mild BDSM, he won't take me to the next level. I fantasize about him dominating me every time we have sex, and I get so frustrated when he teases me and then backs of. Is there any way I could talk to him and show him how much I love this lifestyle and I want him to be part of it with me? You could tell him. and see what happens...i've had dudes run away screaming with that Salem witch hunt frenzied look in their eyes... However, if he knows and is informed...perhaps he'd be willing to learn. You might be surprised...some guys say they could "sense" that side of me...may be the thing with your guy. i'm not sure if you're talking about kink in a sexual way only, or about D/s some form of power exchange...the latter may be a bit harder to get into using just porn, and some well placed bondage paraphenelia. Best of luck...

HornyToadsMI -> RE: Tired of Vanilla... (5/7/2008 8:20:14 PM)
Here is my 2 cents [8\|] Men are dense......yes I said it......and I have two men who will back me up on it! They dont understand subtlty. You have to hit them over the head with it a few times. Now, as women, we feel we are practically screaming at the tops of our lungs, but they still dont get it. So, you will have to sit down with him, and very explicitly tell him what you want (it drives me crazy when you tie me up, can we take it further? I have this book I want you to read....it will tell you more). A good one is "Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns". It is a very humorous book and easy read. He could also be nervous he is going to hurt you, or got turned on too and it freaked him out, or a whole host of other reasons. But my bet is he is clueless. So, you take it the step further. If he says it is not for him, then you have your answer...... Good luck, hon!

proudsub -> RE: Tired of Vanilla... (5/7/2008 11:46:17 PM)
quote: Is there any way I could talk to him and show him how much I love this lifestyle and I want him to be part of it with me? When Hubby learned of my interest in this, the first thing we did was go shopping together and bought a "beginner bondage kit". It got us started very nicely.[:)]

SailingBum -> RE: Tired of Vanilla... (5/8/2008 4:29:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HornyToadsMI Here is my 2 cents [8\|] Men are dense......yes I said it......and I have two men who will back me up on it! They dont understand subtlty. You have to hit them over the head with it a few times. Good luck, hon! Of course we are... That must be why men rule the world. BadOne

stella41b -> RE: Tired of Vanilla... (5/8/2008 2:18:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: snarkisms I am sick of missionary Kama sutra mean anything to you?

StormsSlave -> RE: Tired of Vanilla... (5/8/2008 6:28:47 PM)
Men rule the world? How come I didn't get that memo??

Deliena -> RE: Tired of Vanilla... (5/9/2008 10:23:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: StormsSlave Men rule the world? How come I didn't get that memo?? Cos I'm still typing and my printer has a jam.....

HornyToadsMI -> RE: Tired of Vanilla... (5/9/2008 8:03:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum quote: ORIGINAL: HornyToadsMI Here is my 2 cents [8\|] Men are dense......yes I said it......and I have two men who will back me up on it! They dont understand subtlty. You have to hit them over the head with it a few times. Good luck, hon! Of course we are... That must be why men rule the world. BadOne BadOne - that is what we WANT you to think......again.....men are dense.....lol. [sm=yahoo.gif]

SirJohnMandevill -> RE: Tired of Vanilla... (5/9/2008 9:21:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum quote: ORIGINAL: snarkisms My current partner and I are having a bit of problems. He is vanilla. To the enth. I am sick of missionary, and though he seems to like some mild BDSM, he won't take me to the next level. I fantasize about him dominating me every time we have sex, and I get so frustrated when he teases me and then backs of. Is there any way I could talk to him and show him how much I love this lifestyle and I want him to be part of it with me? Damn another variation of he's perfect BUT.... accept him for what he is or move on. cuz your not going to change him or anyone else for that matter. BadOne I have to agree here. It's highly doubtful you're going to effect any significant personality change, even with multiple heart-to-heart talks. You can't just flip a switch...or turn up a rheostat...and make someone a Dominant. You need to decide how important kink is in your life and act accordingly. Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

DomKen -> RE: Tired of Vanilla... (5/9/2008 10:15:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HornyToadsMI Here is my 2 cents [8\|] Men are dense......yes I said it......and I have two men who will back me up on it! They dont understand subtlty. You have to hit them over the head with it a few times. Now, as women, we feel we are practically screaming at the tops of our lungs, but they still dont get it. So, you will have to sit down with him, and very explicitly tell him what you want (it drives me crazy when you tie me up, can we take it further? I have this book I want you to read....it will tell you more). A good one is "Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns". It is a very humorous book and easy read. He could also be nervous he is going to hurt you, or got turned on too and it freaked him out, or a whole host of other reasons. But my bet is he is clueless. So, you take it the step further. If he says it is not for him, then you have your answer...... Good luck, hon! I was. My first real lover liked it rough and she must have thought she made it clear to me somehow but I was completely clueless. Finally I smacked her rear playfully and the way she looked at me was shocking. I made her explain what I was too naive to understand. To the OP. Talk to the guy. Tell him what you need.

deliteme -> RE: Tired of Vanilla... (5/9/2008 11:55:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Deliena quote: ORIGINAL: StormsSlave Men rule the world? How come I didn't get that memo?? Cos I'm still typing and my printer has a jam..... Nah....it got filtered out by my Virus Scanner. Talk to him and see what interests him...Maybe some food play... Whipped cream, chocolate sauce, honey etc... then do it with food and a blindfold... take it a step at a time.

Justme696 -> RE: Tired of Vanilla... (5/10/2008 3:12:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stella41b Kama sutra mean anything to you? t o me it does...muscle pain :P

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