Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Tired of Vanilla...


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Tired of Vanilla... Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Tired of Vanilla... - 5/7/2008 11:24:35 AM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chaosforge

Funny Faery, but maybe not too off base.


.lets see... The Claiming Of Sleeping Beauty, Beautys Punishment, Beauty's Release.


_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
Imperfect.
MUST SPANK!!!
SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to chaosforge)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Tired of Vanilla... - 5/7/2008 12:52:23 PM   
lizcgirl


Posts: 287
Joined: 4/13/2008
Status: offline 		My ex was like that- vanilla, thought what he did WAS extreme, and the whole time I wanted to scream because it wasn't what I wanted! I told him, begged him even. He tied me up, but he was a young hormonal boy: as soon as he saw I was enjoying it, he untied me and expected it to be enough to please me. We talked about it and I will give me credit, he tried. But it never worked. Our relationship failed for other reasons and I moved on, and now am much happier. It's all in your choices. I wasn't emotionally attached enough to be satisified with NEVER being satisified and he tried to please me but just wasn't on the same level as me. My personal opinion- talk to him, see what he's willing to try. But be ready to either accept it won't happen or move on if things don't go your way. If you don't and try to stay, even though you're not happy, it will fail sooner or later. We're all different, compatibility isn't gauranteed.

_____________________________

Never make some one a priority when all you are to them is an option.


(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Tired of Vanilla... - 5/7/2008 1:06:14 PM   
SlaveSuru


Posts: 89
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		My ex of two years was PAINFULLy vanilla.  He's even a virgin to this day despite my best attempts to change that.  Some men just cannot be what we want them to be.  I tried unsucessfully for two years to get him to be at least my " owner"  ( I enjoy pet play  and thought it might be easier for him to understand)  He couldn't even touch any of my toys or anything related to the lifestyle.  The most he ever did was jokingly padlock a dog chain around my neck and called me his.  he never did anything else,  and three days later he said ok the joke's over and undid the dog chain. 

I went elsewhere for my needs but in order to fully enjoy my need for submission I have to have a deep emotional bond with the person and while I liked my friend it just wasn't the same.

Then after we broke up I met my master and He is everything I could have hoped for...

I guess it's like they say,  you cannot change someone no matter how you love them or they love you.   But then again that's just my experience.

_____________________________

Master Dax's loyal and loving slave
Those who walk in the footsteps of others often find themselves lost, forge your own path in life!

(in reply to chaosforge)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Tired of Vanilla... - 5/7/2008 1:12:32 PM   
OldBastardly1


Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline 		Is it possible for both of you to go to a BDSM club? One where they actually play? "just to watch other people". If he has a potential for an interest is such activity, this should get him thinking about it more, validating the use of roughness when appropriate.

If he has no interest in doing it, you will never change him. Good luck.

_____________________________

Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad



(in reply to snarkisms)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Tired of Vanilla... - 5/7/2008 2:38:12 PM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

I am sick of missionary,


they way you fuck has nothing to do with the lifestyle


_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to chaosforge)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Tired of Vanilla... - 5/7/2008 8:07:35 PM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: snarkisms

My current partner and I are having a bit of problems. He is vanilla. To the enth. I am sick of missionary, and though he seems to like some mild BDSM, he won't take me to the next level. I fantasize about him dominating me every time we have sex, and I get so frustrated when he teases me and then backs of.

Is there any way I could talk to him and show him how much I love this lifestyle and I want him to be part of it with me?
        You could tell him. and see what happens...i've had dudes run away screaming with that Salem witch hunt frenzied look in their eyes...
     However, if he knows and is informed...perhaps he'd be willing to learn.   You might be surprised...some guys say they could "sense" that side of me...may be the thing with your guy.  i'm not sure if you're talking about kink in a sexual way only, or about D/s some form of power exchange...the latter may be a bit harder to get into using just porn, and some well placed bondage paraphenelia.  Best of luck...

(in reply to snarkisms)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Tired of Vanilla... - 5/7/2008 8:20:14 PM   
HornyToadsMI


Posts: 287
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		Here is my 2 cents

Men are dense......yes I said it......and I have two men who will back me up on it!  They dont understand subtlty.  You have to hit them over the head with it a few times. 

Now, as women, we feel we are practically screaming at the tops of our lungs, but they still dont get it.  So, you will have to sit down with him, and very explicitly tell him what you want (it drives me crazy when you tie me up, can we take it further?  I have this book I want you to read....it will tell you more).  A good one is "Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns".  It is a very humorous book and easy read. 

He could also be nervous he is going to hurt you, or got turned on too and it freaked him out, or a whole host of other reasons.  But my bet is he is clueless.  So, you take it the step further.  If he says it is not for him, then you have your answer......

Good luck, hon!

_____________________________

i have the best job in the world - my Boss whips me!!!

Go with your gut - yes, I am being a Smart Ass!

(in reply to chaosforge)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Tired of Vanilla... - 5/7/2008 11:46:17 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

Is there any way I could talk to him and show him how much I love this lifestyle and I want him to be part of it with me?


When Hubby learned of my interest in this, the first thing we did was go shopping together and bought a "beginner bondage kit".  It got us started very nicely.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to snarkisms)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Tired of Vanilla... - 5/8/2008 4:29:31 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HornyToadsMI

Here is my 2 cents

Men are dense......yes I said it......and I have two men who will back me up on it!  They dont understand subtlty.  You have to hit them over the head with it a few times. 

Good luck, hon!


Of course we are... That must be why men rule the world.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to HornyToadsMI)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Tired of Vanilla... - 5/8/2008 2:18:22 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: snarkisms

I am sick of missionary



Kama sutra mean anything to you?

_____________________________

CM's Resident Lyricist
also Facebook
http://stella.baker.tripod.com/
50NZpoints
Q2
Simply Q

(in reply to snarkisms)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Tired of Vanilla... - 5/8/2008 6:28:47 PM   
StormsSlave


Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline 		Men rule the world?  How come I didn't get that memo??

_____________________________

Congratulate me...I'm a missus!!

--nobody's resident anything.

(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Tired of Vanilla... - 5/9/2008 10:23:49 AM   
Deliena


Posts: 623
Joined: 6/16/2007
From: Darlington, United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: StormsSlave

Men rule the world?  How come I didn't get that memo??


Cos I'm still typing and my printer has a jam.....

(in reply to StormsSlave)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Tired of Vanilla... - 5/9/2008 8:03:07 PM   
HornyToadsMI


Posts: 287
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: HornyToadsMI

Here is my 2 cents

Men are dense......yes I said it......and I have two men who will back me up on it!  They dont understand subtlty.  You have to hit them over the head with it a few times. 

Good luck, hon!


Of course we are... That must be why men rule the world.

BadOne


BadOne - that is what we WANT you to think......again.....men are dense.....lol. 

_____________________________

i have the best job in the world - my Boss whips me!!!

Go with your gut - yes, I am being a Smart Ass!

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Tired of Vanilla... - 5/9/2008 9:21:42 PM   
SirJohnMandevill


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: snarkisms

My current partner and I are having a bit of problems. He is vanilla. To the enth. I am sick of missionary, and though he seems to like some mild BDSM, he won't take me to the next level. I fantasize about him dominating me every time we have sex, and I get so frustrated when he teases me and then backs of.

Is there any way I could talk to him and show him how much I love this lifestyle and I want him to be part of it with me?


Damn another variation of he's perfect BUT....  accept him for what he is or move on.  cuz your not going to change him or anyone else for that matter.

BadOne


I have to agree here. It's highly doubtful you're going to effect any significant personality change, even with multiple heart-to-heart talks. You can't just flip a switch...or turn up a rheostat...and make someone a Dominant. You need to decide how important kink is in your life and act accordingly.
 
Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

_____________________________

Iam an eroticist
I am a fully eroticized being
No more neuroses
I found my strip naked soul soup
With the deviant ingredient
---The B-52s

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Tired of Vanilla... - 5/9/2008 10:15:20 PM   
DomKen


Posts: 19457
Joined: 7/4/2004
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HornyToadsMI

Here is my 2 cents

Men are dense......yes I said it......and I have two men who will back me up on it!  They dont understand subtlty.  You have to hit them over the head with it a few times. 

Now, as women, we feel we are practically screaming at the tops of our lungs, but they still dont get it.  So, you will have to sit down with him, and very explicitly tell him what you want (it drives me crazy when you tie me up, can we take it further?  I have this book I want you to read....it will tell you more).  A good one is "Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns".  It is a very humorous book and easy read. 

He could also be nervous he is going to hurt you, or got turned on too and it freaked him out, or a whole host of other reasons.  But my bet is he is clueless.  So, you take it the step further.  If he says it is not for him, then you have your answer......

Good luck, hon!

I was. My first real lover liked it rough and she must have thought she made it clear to me somehow but I was completely clueless. Finally I smacked her rear playfully and the way she looked at me was shocking. I made her explain what I was too naive to understand.

To the OP. Talk to the guy. Tell him what you need.

(in reply to HornyToadsMI)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Tired of Vanilla... - 5/9/2008 11:55:53 PM   
deliteme


Posts: 34
Joined: 5/2/2008
From: Melbourne AUstralia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Deliena

quote:

ORIGINAL: StormsSlave

Men rule the world?  How come I didn't get that memo??


Cos I'm still typing and my printer has a jam.....


Nah....it got filtered out by my Virus Scanner.

Talk to him and see what interests him...Maybe some food play... Whipped cream, chocolate sauce,  honey etc... then do it with food and a blindfold... take it a step at a time.




_____________________________

Chainmaille...metal and pliers..I am in heaven...

(in reply to Deliena)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Tired of Vanilla... - 5/10/2008 3:12:14 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

Kama sutra mean anything to you?


t o me it does...muscle pain :P

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 37
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Tired of Vanilla... Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094