How to get a domme to meet? (Full Version)

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subfordommeny -> How to get a domme to meet? (5/7/2008 8:29:20 PM)

Actually I have a specific example. I have e-mailed on CM over the past week or so with one dominant woman. I would say we have exchanged five or six messages each. She is someone I would love to meet..we are local to each other.....I am looking for what she says she is seeking in her profile....I sent her a picture..hers is on her profile.....our exchange has been pretty brief...though some occasional signs of interest from her.....

Yesterday I asked her if she would like to move our communication to something other than CM e-mail....and she read but didn't return my message......

Would it be Okto continue messaging her or would it be rude? I feel like she sent me a signal and now I'm not even sure what to say

Thanks



DiurnalVampire -> RE: How to get a domme to meet? (5/7/2008 8:33:59 PM)

First thing I would do is give her sometime to get back to you. Just ebasue every other answer may have been rapid fire doesnt mean she might not want some time to think about moving communication elsewhere, especially if she has only had sporatic interest in your messages. Also, there might be something that has come up. There is this nasty RealLife(tm) that gets in the way sometimes.
Be patient.

If, after a few days she has not gotten back to you, message her one more time. ASk her if she got your mail, and suggest again politely that you move to another vnue so that you can progress. Then, if she again reads and does not reply, you have your answer. No answer IS an answer.  It might be rude on her part, but it gets the point across... one sided communication isnt going to further your cause, if she stops talking, thats your cue to stop trying and find someone else wo has similiar interests in moving forward.

DV



Pyrrsefanie -> RE: How to get a domme to meet? (5/7/2008 8:39:10 PM)

There's always chloroform.



hopelesslyInvo -> RE: How to get a domme to meet? (5/7/2008 8:40:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Pyrrsefanie

There's always chloroform.


it's a fact that the best pickup line ever is "hey does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"



MissMagnolia -> RE: How to get a domme to meet? (5/7/2008 8:41:47 PM)

There was a very similar question the other day. You might get some idea's there, if you fancied a look.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1835777/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#1835938



Najakcharmer -> RE: How to get a domme to meet? (5/7/2008 8:46:48 PM)

There may be other stuff going on in her life and she may get back to you later.  Being weird about it or demanding a response now is likely to ring her alarm bells and make sure she won't meet you.

Probably a casual offer to meet for friendly coffee and chitchat in a safe public place would go over well. More explicit offers or suggetions almost certainly won't. 



CoasttoCoast -> RE: How to get a domme to meet? (5/7/2008 10:09:04 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Pyrrsefanie

There's always chloroform.

<3



MsCfromMelbourne -> RE: How to get a domme to meet? (5/8/2008 12:02:39 AM)

subfordommeny

You lucky bugger - you live in New York!! 

Go along to TES events if you haven't already and meet lots of Dommes and subs that way (www.tes.org).  The Novice Group next Wednesday night looks fun.  Or even the flogging workshop on Saturday if you like flogging

Perhaps try DSF as well.  I notice their New York group is hosting an interesting talk about mind fucks this Friday (www.domsubfriends.com)

And pop along to Paddles too, which can be lots of fun if you go with friend(s) or they are hosting some kind of interesting panel discussions/demos (www.paddlesnyc.com)

The lady you are interested in may also be there.  If not, you might care to invite her to join you?  Meeting at a BDSM seminar is an easy and safe way to find/share common interests.  Maybe ask her for coffee afterward if she seems pleased to meet you.  At least you will have something to talk about :)

Dont despair if you never hear from this lady again.  I suspect over half the Dommes on CM are not really Dominants...or really females[8D]  Go meet real Dommes (and subs) in real life and ask them if they happen to have profiles on CM.  They are the profiles worth emailing [:D]

MsC (who misses living in Manhattan sometimes)



LadyPact -> RE: How to get a domme to meet? (5/8/2008 12:56:18 AM)

I couldn't agree more with MsC.  There's a huge advantage to living in certain places, and makes for meeting at lifestyle events so much easier. 

Along with that, I wanted to add that I've had some situations where a CM mail hasn't gone through.  Literally, I type the thing up, send it, and it would disappear somewhere.  It wouldn't even be in My 'sent' folder.  It hasn't happened in some time, but it has happened to Me.  If you get no answer in a few days, send another asking if the last one was received.

Good luck.  I hope it goes well for you.



Madame4a -> RE: How to get a domme to meet? (5/8/2008 2:39:10 AM)

Personally, insistent emails to meet would be a red flag for me.  If people want to rush my timing, I'll likely bow out.

If it looks like she read your mail, its likely, though not completely certain, that she did.

There are a million reasons why she might not get back to you, none of them have anything to do with you.

Give her some time; however, its possible the longer it takes her to get back, the less likely she is to meet you.

I talk to all sorts of people, but I don't always want to meet them, even if there is some interest. 

I'm also of the "meet at an event" camp -- its the best way, that way if someone doesn't show, you can still have a good time.



LadyLynx -> RE: How to get a domme to meet? (5/8/2008 9:12:12 AM)

I don't often meet people from CM. However I do often meet those who happen to have a profile on CM. lol.



Dnomyar -> RE: How to get a domme to meet? (5/8/2008 9:27:11 AM)

LL I just tried to say that forward and backward. Now I don't know weather Im coming or going.



TwoNYCDommes -> RE: How to get a domme to meet? (5/8/2008 11:48:05 AM)

I'd suggest waiting another day or so for her response; she may simply be busy or something.  If she still hasn't responded after a few days, I don't think it would be rude to write to her again (it's always possible she thought she responded but the message wasn't sent; we've had technical difficulties like that on this site), but make your next message brief and polite, not pushy.  If she fails to respond to that one, you might take her silence for an answer.



MladyHathor -> RE: How to get a domme to meet? (5/8/2008 11:58:10 AM)

I hope you aren't one of those who does this:
 
"i really want us to get to know each other, IM me at xxxxxxxxx or call me at xxxxxxxx"
 
--that is SO annoying IMHO.
 
and just because YOU want to meet Her doesn't mean ( A) its reciprocal or (B) She feels the time is right.
 
food for thought.



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