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receiving anal from vanilla girlfriend - 5/8/2008 4:13:21 PM

collegesub22

Posts: 1
Joined: 4/29/2008
Status: offline

Ok so I have been dating a girl for a couple of months now and we have become pretty close. We've talked a bit about bdsm and other kinks but I really dont know how to tell her about my submissiveness in bed. One thing I wonder about is what her reaction would be for me asking if she would use me with a strap-on. Anyone faced a simulair problem or have any ideas on how to bring it up.
ThankYou
collegesub

Post #: 1

RE: receiving anal from vanilla girlfriend - 5/8/2008 4:16:49 PM

Luciferica

Posts: 231
Joined: 3/18/2008
Status: offline

Be open, at worst she'll say no.

< Message edited by Luciferica -- 5/8/2008 4:17:27 PM >

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RE: receiving anal from vanilla girlfriend - 5/8/2008 4:16:53 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

The first man to do that with me didn't ask me about it, certainly not in advance. We were playing around in bed and he pulled one out and starting tell me what he'd like me to do with it, and I did it.

You never know how someone will react.

Cali

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Post #: 3

RE: receiving anal from vanilla girlfriend - 5/8/2008 4:16:59 PM

DianeB

Posts: 166
Joined: 1/30/2006
Status: offline

Ask her..I know a few vanilla women that like strapon play and are not into BDSM..

Diane

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Post #: 4

RE: receiving anal from vanilla girlfriend - 5/8/2008 4:18:00 PM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

1) Buy a small, nonthreating dildo.
2) Use it on girl
3) Tell her she shouldn't have all the fun, and that she should use one on you.
4) ???
5) Profit!

All kidding aside, this is how my ex got me to try this. I'd say it worked pretty well.

(in reply to collegesub22)

Post #: 5

RE: receiving anal from vanilla girlfriend - 5/8/2008 4:22:47 PM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline

In my opinion, being submissive (in or out of the bedroom) means you submit to someone elses will. You do what pleases them and that pleases you. You do not force your kinks upon them.

How important is it to you to be penetrated with a strap-on? Is it more important than the relationship you are in? If it is something you enjoy, but do not need, perhaps rent a video where strap-on sex is included (but not the primary focus) and view it with her. When that scene comes up, ask her opinion on it. If she seems to be uninterested or even disgusted you will then know how she feels. If being penetrated by a strap-on is absolutely necessary to your happiness - then man up and tell her. You risk losing the relationship, but if this is something you MUST have, the relationship wasn't going to work if she isnt interested anyway.

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Post #: 6

RE: receiving anal from vanilla girlfriend - 5/8/2008 4:55:32 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

Actually even if she acts disgusted at the sight of someone having a strap on used on them, you still don't know how she feels. If this is important to you, ask her.
If you are posting then i'm guessing its important - but is it important enough to loose her if she rejects you and your idea? Only you can answer that. good luck.

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Post #: 7

RE: receiving anal from vanilla girlfriend - 5/8/2008 4:59:30 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

And this brings up another point... if she does think it's disgusting, do you want to be with someone who thinks that way or judges you that way? Just food for thought.

Cali

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Post #: 8

RE: receiving anal from vanilla girlfriend - 5/8/2008 5:00:30 PM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
Status: offline

buy her an ice cream cone ...connected to a chain...connected to you.

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Post #: 9

RE: receiving anal from vanilla girlfriend - 5/8/2008 6:34:16 PM

MladyHathor

Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

Go to a sex toy store, have fun giggle over the gels, and the really big bright blue dildos---make a comment and see what she says.

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RE: receiving anal from vanilla girlfriend - 5/8/2008 7:59:45 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Sex is just sex. It doesn't have to be about D/s, so why cloud the issue? There is a fab video called "Bend Over Boyfriend" done by Carol Queen (and Shar Rednour?) that is an excellent show and tell demo, very approachable. Introduce it as a fun thing that you can do together. You might want to offer her some kind of fun thing in return....

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Post #: 11

RE: receiving anal from vanilla girlfriend - 5/8/2008 11:38:50 PM

beltainefaerie

Posts: 610
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline

Does she like anal? If she does then she is that much closer to understanding that you might like it. I agree with others though, that it is pretty impossible for us to predict her reaction.

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Post #: 12

RE: receiving anal from vanilla girlfriend - 5/9/2008 4:44:12 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Shower with her and drop a bar of soap and bend over to pick it up. See what her reaction is. Where are your creative imaginations people.

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Post #: 13

RE: receiving anal from vanilla girlfriend - 5/9/2008 5:29:09 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

Go to the produce department with her. Pick up a really large cucumber and wonder aloud about how that would feel up your butt.

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Post #: 14

RE: receiving anal from vanilla girlfriend - 5/9/2008 5:37:17 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Oh Ray, ILU man!

Aileen, cucumbers--they have spines. You are seriously twisted!

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Post #: 15

RE: receiving anal from vanilla girlfriend - 5/9/2008 6:23:16 AM

malloves69

Posts: 913
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline

some cucumbers are pretty smooth

and pretty big also

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Post #: 16

RE: receiving anal from vanilla girlfriend - 5/9/2008 10:35:43 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I was waiting for you to chime in on this one, Mal! How come you haven't volunteered to be the lab rat for me and my friend who wants to learn fisting?

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Post #: 17

RE: receiving anal from vanilla girlfriend - 5/9/2008 10:43:07 AM

malloves69

Posts: 913
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline

you didnt ask ?

love being fisted by a woman

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Post #: 18

RE: receiving anal from vanilla girlfriend - 5/9/2008 11:02:05 AM

malloves69

Posts: 913
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline

really i didnt know you were looking for someone to experiment on

message sent on the otherside

being fisted anally by a woman is awesome indeed ..my mistress has trained me well

(in reply to malloves69)

Post #: 19

RE: receiving anal from vanilla girlfriend - 5/9/2008 11:44:31 AM

AdeptEngineer

Posts: 8
Joined: 5/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

1) Buy a small, nonthreating dildo.
2) Use it on girl
3) Tell her she shouldn't have all the fun, and that she should use one on you.
4) ???
5) Profit!

All kidding aside, this is how my ex got me to try this. I'd say it worked pretty well.

Underpants Gnomes always have the right answer!

(in reply to Lynnxz)

Post #: 20

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