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RE: The "Starting" Line - 10/18/2005 1:58:15 PM

Kasia

Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

If it were me, I’d have her sit down and explain the whole shebang to her. Answer all her questions and inform her that if she stays, you make the rules (depending of you are into a D/s or M/s relationship and if TPE is going to be involved). I’d deal with the relationship first and the fetishes second but explain the one which are important to you. If she cant handle it then she is probably wrong for you. It just depends where your relationship is at and how important it is compared to the whole package. Only you can know this and only you two can work this out.

I agree with IronBear.

When I first got interested in these sort of things I just plainly told my husband "I found bdsm appealing lately and am trying to find out more and see if it rings my bell" - and he had no objection. Actually he informed our casual partners that I am "into stuff" and they should act accordingly or give up.

The same way he told me when we first met - "Babe I am kinky and I love group-sex, exibitionism. voyeurism and plenty of other things. If its not for you just tell me now before we start any serious relationship and no harm done." And I said "Sounds fine to me" so we live happily ever after (more or less

).

I truly believe in honest and serious discussion aout everything. It always worked fine for me.

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Kassia

(in reply to IronBear)

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RE: The "Starting" Line - 10/18/2005 2:05:32 PM

MasterHyde

Posts: 127
Joined: 4/10/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

Ok....I'm rather new to this lifestyle, only about 10 months. In January I met a man who is a strong dominant. We met in the "vanilla" world. At first, he played with me much like you have done. Within a month though, he started to explain what he wanted in a partner. He directed me to the CastleRealm site to see if I thought I might be interested in exploring this side of myself. Frankly I was terrified.

I know I'm going to piss off SOMEBODY by saying this, but ROFLMAO at the thought of anyone being terrified by Castle Realm. I haven't been there in years, but my experience with that site is that it's watered-down, politically correct, and a highly romanticized version of BDSM. In the "realm" of their castle, submissives have more power than dominants, and everyone uses safewords, and no one ever, every does anything remotely dangerous or edgy. Yeah, I'm being a prick, but I can't help myself. Castle Realm makes me want to puke.

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Master Hyde
A self-righteous, poly, dominant, possessive control freak with strong paternal tendencies and a sadistic inner child

(in reply to Sunshine119)

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RE: The "Starting" Line - 10/18/2005 3:02:43 PM

felineone

Posts: 92
Joined: 6/24/2004
Status: offline

Have you talked about fantasies? Sharing fantisies with each other is great way to find out where to start.. and it's a great way to bring something up you may want to try with her. She may have some that surprise you! It's also a great way to build trust and closness, if that's what your looking for.
~feline~

(in reply to ChastityLocked)

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Post #: 23