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slaveluci -> RE: owning a slave... (5/9/2008 5:11:02 PM)
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~FR~
I have a slightly different take on things, I see. Yes, I suppose that, short of being chained to a wall constantly, one could always conceivably "leave." However, for some slaves, the level of internal enslavement is so deep that they don't imagine ever really "leaving."
Whenever this topic arises, I always think about a wise slave whose words I read often on another site. I have admired and learned from her for years now and truly believe what she says is "real." She discusses how her owner has told her that she is his forever and there will be no leaving. He told her that if it was up to her to simply misbehave enough to just get released, then it's his feeling that she's in control of things, not he.
As I just said, that is HIS OPINION. It happens to be mine and Master's as well. I know there are those who adamantly disagree. Kyra and Knight come to mind. We've debated it here before. It is my understanding that, in their relationship, at any time she decides to be willfully disobedient, she has chosen to stop submitting and this could lead to her release (paraphrasing here - hope I'm not too far off-base). I have great respect for Knight and the relationship he has with Alandra and Kyra. However, Master and I do not subscribe to those same beliefs as valid as they may be for others.
In our world, I was fully informed BEFORE becoming His property that it was going to be forever (or as long as He lived and was sane and capable of "mastering" me). There was no codicil in place that, if at some future point I chose to consistently willfully disobey, that I would be released and once again be "free." TO HIM AND TO ME, that would indicate that I was in charge of holding myself in slavery. That is not what either of us wanted.
I didn't want to be given an ultimatum if at some future point, I became uncontrollably disobedient (never gonna happen, but what did I know at that first day?[;)]) I didn't want to be able to act out enough so that He'd say, "Well, you obviously choose not to obey me anymore, so out you go." I wanted there to be more control and ownership on His part than that. Again, I reiterate that's what WE wanted. I am in no way disrespecting anyone else's choices, especially those of Knight and his family whom I hold in high esteem.
That slave I mentioned reading on the other site said that it was world-altering for her to realize that her husband/owner MEANT IT when he said she was never going anywhere. He owned her and that meant lock, stock and barrel whether she changed her mind and acted out or not. She said it was amazing the effect that had on her and her choices to obey. Because act out and disobey or not, she was staying and she would eventually obey the easy way or the hard way, so to speak. She said once she got that internalized, it made always obeying from the beginning much more tempting.
Master doesn't keep me chained to a wall. Hell, I have a full-time job and some access to our monies. However, I know that if I chose to stroll off one day, He would scour the ends of the earth to bring me back. Why? Because He loves me, He absolutely considers me His property, and my choices don't matter like they did before becoming His. It's that simple. He told me a long time ago that if He EVER thought releasing me would be the best thing for me and in my best interest, He would choose to do it. He just maintains that that will probably never, ever be the case[:)]. I totally agree.
There have been a couple of times over the last couple years when it would have been easier to just flee. Run back to my past mistakes and hide - it would have been easier on many levels. But it's not what I needed and never will be. I'm glad I knew not to do it because I knew it wouldn't last long. I knew than and know now that Master is the best thing in my life and always will be. Knowing He wouldn't just allow me to run away and leave helped me buckle down, work through things, and grow. I'm thankful for that.......................luci
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