RE: Not into the local scene. (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

SimplyMichael -> RE: Not into the local scene. (5/13/2008 6:53:35 AM)

Raven,

You know what a staunch defender of the one true way I am.  I am after all a founding member of the ancient order of The Old Swiss Chard.  I take myself very seriously and know that my path, while more difficult than the little peoples, is vastly more enlightened.  Lucky for me, unlike the great unwashed masses, I have been perfect since birth and my rigorous training has only built upon that sturdy foundation.

I suspect that those who have things to hide because of how wrong they do everything will continue to try and viciously attack me and slander the name of my ancient old guard house.  I knew I shouldn't have built it out of glass but last I looked the heathens hadn't managed to move to the level of brick making yet.

Lucky for me, I am a highly respected elder in my community and no matter how many women I cut up and eat, I can hide out because none dare to confront me and expose me for the vicious cannibal I am.  Since my online name is so clever and my picture so obscure, my secret identity is safe from discovery so I have no worries.



MadRabbit -> RE: Not into the local scene. (5/13/2008 7:01:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

...The Old Swiss Chard... 


The Name has been spoken! Excuse me for one moment while I face east, genuflect, and kneel to begin giving homage through prayer.



Archer -> RE: Not into the local scene. (5/13/2008 7:13:41 AM)

Meanwhile the assasins have been dispatched to enforce the death of 1,000 cold cuts on you Micheal for daring to speak the name in a common forum. 



Cuffkinks -> RE: Not into the local scene. (5/13/2008 8:02:16 AM)

   As My little girl and I are interested in getting out more and making "like-minded" friends, I read this thread with an open mind. Going with My gut, I have to say that this thread is turning Me off to the so-called "community."
  I've had the pleasure of meeting a few people from CM. Not in a "scene" setting, but just for lunch, dinner, or coffee. I've had all good experiences so far. There are more that I definitely look forward to eventually meeting. As far as going to public parties...descretion is an issue for both My little girl and I. We've been to one party together so far and had a blast. Anything out of town is fine, but locally, we have to be careful. I understand that a munch is usually no more than a group of like-minded people getting together for a meal and conversation. (Correct Me if I'm wrong on that one.) So, a munch doesn't present a problem.
If and when we do attend any "community functions," it will be because we decided we wanted to. Not to raise our stature in the "community." Not to "come out of the shadows." Not to be thought of as less "suspect." Not to be "moved along from A to B to C." But simply because we wanted to get out, share points of view, learn, have fun, and hopefully make a friend or two in the process.
                                                                                                        [sm=soapbox.gif]

 



pettingdragons -> RE: Not into the local scene. (5/13/2008 8:05:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DominantJenny
. So, what do you do when your local scene isn't available or appealing? How do you deal with the pressure to be "active in the scene" when that's not very feasible or when it's simply not to your taste?
 Then don't go....what pressure..if you aren't "into the local scene" don't go...if others are "pressuring you" then don't give into peer pressure or tell them there isn't one in your area.....it all boils down to doing what "fits" your life....my life is all about travel and demo and teaching and learning....We travel 8 12hours to go to a meeting, munch, meet-up, coffee, or just to visit people We know or want to meet..but then Our life is indicative of that....no children just pets..and family to care for them..or we take them with us and find a pet friendly hotel....We save the money by putting it in the budget......We are so busy that we have to schedule weekends for Us to stay home...:)  Its all about your life and what you want out of it....and how you want to live it.... just my thoughts.... pettingdragons**Master Dragons considered slave** may the sands of time be kind.............and not get stuck in your behind...



Mercnbeth -> RE: Not into the local scene. (5/13/2008 8:14:46 AM)

~ Fast Reply ~
 
quote:

So, what do you do when your local scene isn't available or appealing? How do you deal with the pressure to be "active in the scene" when that's not very feasible or when it's simply not to your taste?
 
From these two simple questions to debating whether Jeffrey Dahmer victims are more, or less likely to be found in a group setting, through internet chat, or a private meeting at Starbucks. Lets make it really interesting and include the concept of safe-words.
 
Proposed: If you encounter a Dahmer-type and 'negotiated' a scene, would shouting "red!" curtail him eating your liver? - Discuss...
 
First off when anything is unappealing, the fact that its available isn't a requirement for participation. For instance CM has well over 100,000 'members'; but not all participated every day. Guess what? They do NOT lose their membership. The self identity 'lifestyle participant' label works the same way. Back to the CM reference. Unlike pay sites, non-payment or non participation doesn't ban you. In fact only if you earn the wrath of the Mods when you DO participate can get you banned or exiled. #2 Guess what? There are OTHER similar sites! AMAZING huh? No participation required. Self determination - what a concept!
 
But here's the crux of it .
 
Where does "pressure to be active in the scene" originate? The only place it can is from within. Doubt yourself and what you are doing and everything anyone says can cause "pressure". Paranoid or delusional? - you make the choice. Then there are those whose idea of 'self' has been challenged. The Munch goers versus the Munch aversion people; ensconced in either camp through rationalized 'logic', to remain silent breeds doubt, therefor mocking and ridiculing the other side is necessary. The more this tactic is used - the weaker the argument, the larger the doubt. It gives the impression that the only way to raise their image is by trying to lower the opposition; representing the basis of "pressure".
 
Oh well, this isn't the first and won't be the last 'validation' thread. Maybe there can be a new topic header - 'Validation' with a template:
I do/don't do _______(fill in the blank); is it still okay to represent that I am a: (Chose as many as apply)
  1. slave
  2. Master
  3. Straight
  4. submissive
  5. Dom(me)
  6. Gay
  7. Bi-sexual
  8. A-sexual
  9. switch
  10. In the 'Lifestyle'
Man - I LOVE CM! You can't beat the entertainment!
 
PS - Careful Michael! I know you have the official Grand Master robe and all - but disclosing information regarding the Ancient Order of Royal Swiss Chard to the uninitiated can have far reaching implications. You may be banned from the next 'collard'-ing ceremony. Tread lightly my friend! 



pettingdragons -> RE: Not into the local scene. (5/13/2008 8:19:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick
The recommendations to get active in the local scene are usually given to those who are lost in a virtual world and the unreality it provides. 
Cali


that is not true here in Fla....there are many many groups most of whom We drive hours to go to events because they are fun...the local ones are wonderful too...there is a certain about of drama in the RT world but its no worse then online...Master runs a M/s group locally....
the clubs are a blast....in fact before Master i felt safe enough to attend alone...
i often recommend people get off the internet and get out and live life....scene or not....get out there see what the other groups have to offer...there are not always groups available or those groups just dont fit you but at least you know...but you never know...if you are in Fla and need a hand in finding a local group....let me know...if you are in the Va or KC area...i can help you there too..or just do a search for people in that area and ask people....in most cases there are more then one group....
We are M/s....with high protocols...that is rarely seen in this area so We are always the "odd" one out but We have met some interesting people and never take anything personal....We teach them about what we know and learn from them....
The  "scene" is not always dark and about rape and beatings or clubbing...though there is that....its about what you make of it.....
just my 2 cents
pettingdragons
**Master Dragons considered slave**



ownedgirlie -> RE: Not into the local scene. (5/13/2008 8:23:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pettingdragons
that is not true here in Fla....there are many many groups most of whom We drive hours to go to events because they are fun...the local ones are wonderful too...there is a certain about of drama in the RT world but its no worse then online...Master runs a M/s group locally....


I have heard there are great places in Fla.  I have a friend outside of Tampa who keeps telling me when I come visit, she'll take me to the clubs she goes to and introduce me to all the cool people there.  She has awesome things to say about it all, having moved from Virginia where she didn't enjoy things so well.



LaTigresse -> RE: Not into the local scene. (5/13/2008 8:32:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956

LaT:  Are you OK?

E


Oh yes, I am very much okay! Just haven't been online as much....... It is SPRING!!!![sm=alien.gif][sm=banana.gif][sm=cheerleader.gif][sm=cheering.gif][sm=dancer.gif][sm=line.gif]

and you have mail..................



Emperor1956 -> RE: Not into the local scene. (5/13/2008 9:52:13 AM)

quote:



quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

...The Old Swiss Chard... 




MadRabbit:  The Name has been spoken! Excuse me for one moment while I face east, genuflect, and kneel to begin giving homage through prayer.


Hmmmm.  I thought Michael was looking a little green.  I just put it down to post-BSB visit blues.   Now I know its a deeply chlorophyll problem.

E.

By the way, from Wikipedia:  "Chard is extremely perishable"   Archer, Michael -- be careful.  Get thee to a vegetable cooler, STAT.

PS:  I cannot believe Merc beat me to the "collard" joke.  I'm at least as far from my salad days as that old vegetable!



CalifChick -> RE: Not into the local scene. (5/13/2008 11:07:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pettingdragons
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick
The recommendations to get active in the local scene are usually given to those who are lost in a virtual world and the unreality it provides. 
Cali

that is not true here in Fla....


I'm not sure what you mean by my statement being not true.  Here on CM, most of the time that we urge people to get out and get active is, for instance, when they are going out and giving blowjobs to strangers because a Dom they've never met but know "really well" from the internet told them to. 

That is the "unreality" I am talking about.  If some obscene phone caller rang them up and told them to do it, they most likely would not (we can hope not, anyway).  But someone they feel they "know really well" from the internet... and they're on it in a heartbeat.

Otherwise, I'm not even understanding where the "pressure" would come from.  Do people randomly call up other people and urge them to go to a dungeon or something?  Do people on the other side send out mass emails to locals telling them to go to a munch or they won't be weal and twue?  I got a bunch of very polite invites from the locals before I became active, but never any pressure. 

Cali



ownedgirlie -> RE: Not into the local scene. (5/13/2008 11:19:48 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick
Otherwise, I'm not even understanding where the "pressure" would come from.  Do people randomly call up other people and urge them to go to a dungeon or something?  Do people on the other side send out mass emails to locals telling them to go to a munch or they won't be weal and twue?  I got a bunch of very polite invites from the locals before I became active, but never any pressure. 

Cali



Hi Cali,

I think some people feel pressured when they are told they are not "real" or that they are "suspect" for not participating in local communities, or told other such craziness.  I personally don't feel pressured, as I'm pretty confident in who and what I am and in what I want, but perhaps those new to the "lifestyle" (for lack of a better word) feel looked down upon if they don't conform.

It was said earlier in this thread, although I don't remember by whom (was it you?) - pressure is all in the mind.  I don't look down at those feeling pressured; everyone has their reasons and everyone is in a different place in life and uniquely affected by various situations.  But I believe this is why some do feel pressured to be or do something they otherwise would not be interested in.

This thread has been an interesting display of an "us vs. them" mentality - both sides seeming to try to convince the other of their rightness, when really people should just do what they feel comfortable doing and leave it at that.



mhawk -> RE: Not into the local scene. (5/13/2008 11:25:47 AM)

i have never felt any pressure to "be active in local groups" any where i have been. i think it's a matter of personal taste in such. if i am with an owner who is active in local groups then,of course i will be active as requested, if they are not,that is fine as well.

to me it's too much akin to the social groups from back in school to be honest



RavenMuse -> RE: Not into the local scene. (5/13/2008 11:35:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
both sides seeming to try to convince the other of their rightness, when really people should just do what they feel comfortable doing and leave it at that.


If you read the posts By Archer, Michael and Myself you will find that not one of us say people 'must' or even 'should' get out on the scene.... rather just pointing out that someone in a big enough scene enviroment is intrinsicly more easily checked out and would find it harder to hide negative aspects for a long time, thus is at an advantage as opposed to 'private' types who are likely to be viewed with more caution... and rightly so.... just a matter of how much information is readily available about them.

Refferances aren't worth squat... no-one gives a refference that will likely say anything negative.... and if the only contact you have with the refference is an email addy, how do you know it isn't actualy the very person you have been talking to behind a different mail account..... Saying "I'm active on the London scene... if you feel the need to reasure yourself, then feel free to ask around" presents hundreds of avenues of information, readily available, some who maybe like the person, some who don't and most who are likely to be fairly indifferent, so a wide range of different opinions. Someone private doesn't have that, they are a relativly uncheckoutable blank space.



ownedgirlie -> RE: Not into the local scene. (5/13/2008 11:46:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse
If you read the posts By Archer, Michael and Myself you will find that not one of us say people 'must' or even 'should' get out on the scene.... rather just pointing out that someone in a big enough scene enviroment is intrinsicly more easily checked out and would find it harder to hide negative aspects for a long time, thus is at an advantage as opposed to 'private' types who are likely to be viewed with more caution... and rightly so.... just a matter of how much information is readily available about them.

Hi Raven,

I've read enough posts and emails from Michael to know what he thinks of someone in Sacramento who doesn't participate in the "scene" and to know that welcoming invitations to become involved and to even "buy me a cup of coffee" were, in fact, a lie.

I have not seen such crap from you and Archer, and was not referencing your posts, or even Michael's posts in my last comment.  What I see, in general, is a one side vs. another, and both sides defending their positions.  I don't understand this, to be honest, or why people seem so emotionally invested in their points of view here

quote:


Refferances aren't worth squat... no-one gives a refference that will likely say anything negative.... and if the only contact you have with the refference is an email addy, how do you know it isn't actualy the very person you have been talking to behind a different mail account..... Saying "I'm active on the London scene... if you feel the need to reasure yourself, then feel free to ask around" presents hundreds of avenues of information, readily available, some who maybe like the person, some who don't and most who are likely to be fairly indifferent, so a wide range of different opinions. Someone private doesn't have that, they are a relativly uncheckoutable blank space.



I agree what you say about references not meaning squat.  I did not look into my Master's references.  I was cautious in stepping forward and I listened to myself and asked a multitude of questions before meeting him in person.  He didn't feel a need to check my references, either. He preferred to explore me on his own and decide whether or not he wanted to continue with me (this is what we called a consideration period).

Since our combined personal interest is our fulfillment within our relationship, scene activity and references don't really apply.  I don't hold anything against anyone who does participate in the scene, I am actually sincerely glad for them they have an avenue with which to experience their interests. 

What I'm saying is neither is better or worse, overall.  What's better for a person is where their interests lie.  This is why I don't understand the "us vs. them" mentality I am seeing, or the need for convincing or defending.  I am not criticizing you or Archer, in fact I replied to Archer's comment to me, agreeing with some of his concepts.  I simply don't see the need for insults toward people who think differently.



MadRabbit -> RE: Not into the local scene. (5/13/2008 11:50:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

  1. A-sexual
I tend to question everyone in the Non-Asexual group who can't divide their cells through sheer mental power and instantly create identical offspring.



ownedgirlie -> RE: Not into the local scene. (5/13/2008 11:51:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit
I tend to question everyone in the Non-Asexual group who can't divide their cells through sheer mental power and instantly create identical offspring.



[sm=rofl.gif]



RavenMuse -> RE: Not into the local scene. (5/13/2008 11:55:20 AM)

I've helped a number of people break the ice and step into the scene here in London. Can't comment on your personal experiences of Michael as they are just that, personal to you.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I have met people who wheren't on-scene... but will admit to being more sceptical.... because of the lack of being able to check much about them beforehand... some of those went on to being some of the people I have helped step into the scene.

I haven't insulted anyone for not wishing to be part of it... but if some wish to take cheap potshots simply because they don't like simple facts pointing out to them then I'm likely to give them a slap... not the first such from Me when dealing with that type and unlikely to be the last.



Madame4a -> RE: Not into the local scene. (5/13/2008 12:01:53 PM)

"What I see, in general, is a one side vs. another, and both sides defending their positions.  I don't understand this, to be honest, or why people seem so emotionally invested in their points of view here "

On both sides, I believe it was the judgemental way things were presented... I don't remember all the words that were used in the several pages of posts.. but I found it odd, and continue to, that those who have no contact with, want not contact with and will never have any contact with the community continue to use such harsh terms to describe something they know nothing about.

I realize that the terms used on both sides seemed pejorative.




ownedgirlie -> RE: Not into the local scene. (5/13/2008 12:02:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

I've helped a number of people break the ice and step into the scene here in London.


They are lucky to have someone to help them in, when looking for a helping hand.  I wasn't fortunate to have that, and skinned my knees quite a bit along the way. 

As for the personal, yes, it is that.  I only mentioned it since he was in your lists of posters you commented about reading.  No harm, no foul.

quote:


As I mentioned in an earlier post, I have met people who wheren't on-scene... but will admit to being more sceptical.... because of the lack of being able to check much about them beforehand... some of those went on to being some of the people I have helped step into the scene.

I do not blame people for having their reasons for being skeptical.  It still comes down to where someone's interests lie.


quote:


I haven't insulted anyone for not wishing to be part of it... but if some wish to take cheap potshots simply because they don't like simple facts pointing out to them then I'm likely to give them a slap... not the first such from Me when dealing with that type and unlikely to be the last.


I find there are people on both sides of the fence who do not like facts being pointed to them, and feel it's not an issue of whether or not someone is "in the scene."  I'm not a big fan of rudeness, although I know I've been guilty of it myself.  I suppose it comes with being human.  [;)]





Page: <<   < prev  8 9 [10] 11 12   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.5644531