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Next Steps? - 10/18/2005 2:12:42 PM   
AJCFLA


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline
Hello to all,

I recently joined this site after going through countless other sites/web pages that didn't really didn't seem to help. My problem is I'm extreme;y new to this, after only realizing how I felt about this subject, and I'm wondering if there is a 'manual' of sorts? I apologize if I'm going about this the wrong way, but like a lot of things I really enjoy, I want to understand this as best I can.

Thank you for reading,
Tony
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Next Steps? - 10/18/2005 2:22:17 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
Manual? No but there are several non-fiction books we (as a group with differing opinions) could recommend.

I find most of the books from Greenery Press to be useful and interesting. Start with the basics and work your way up -- SM101, Topping Book, Bottoming Book, etc.

http://www.greenerypress.com/

And I strongly recommend not limiting yourself to things only of your orientation or strict interest. For example of you are a female dominant you can still learn alot from gay leathermen and from male dominants. If you are submissive you can learn about topping and increase your ability to make better decisions about who to trust and the types of play and relationships out there.


_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to AJCFLA)
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RE: Next Steps? - 10/18/2005 7:28:12 PM   
onceburned


Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline
Since you are extremely new to this, you might consider looking at the materials in The WizDomme Newbie Pack. Pay particular attention to the safety articles.

And since you are already on this site, I think you will find 10 Steps For Making A Good First Impression to be very helpful.

(in reply to AJCFLA)
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RE: Next Steps? - 10/18/2005 7:42:00 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
I read "Screw the roses, send me the thorns", "The loving dominant" among my first books and found them very helpful and not at all scary or overwhelming.
Good luck, and welcome to the boards. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

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RE: Next Steps? - 10/18/2005 8:58:07 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

I read "Screw the roses, send me the thorns", "The loving dominant" among my first books and found them very helpful and not at all scary or overwhelming.
Good luck, and welcome to the boards. M


I thank you and I'm sure Molly thanks you. Authors like to be appreciated.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
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RE: Next Steps? - 10/21/2005 9:06:18 AM   
AJCFLA


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline
This is to say thanks for the warm welcome and the ideas of where to begin, I've bookmarked several to read as I can get time. I only hope in time I can truly begin to understand this new side of me.

Thanks again all,
Tony

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RE: Next Steps? - 10/22/2005 4:45:04 PM   
MsHeart


Posts: 15
Joined: 10/19/2005
Status: offline
Dear Tony,
If you don't have time you could watch some videos first then read
VIDEO

The Pain Game and Tie Me Up by Cleo DuBois - If you want to see a true master in action,.

Whipsmart: A Good Vibrations' Guide to Beginning SM for Couples. Written and hosted by Mistress Morgana. Produced by Sex Positive Productions. Excellent for Couple, offers terminology etc.



Manor House, BBC. This is a reality series about modern-day people attempting to live as servants and aristocratic family in an Edwardian manor house.

The Life A Film by Luna, or Whore, Soy Puta - This film is an absolute work of art. Skip over the weak story line featuring Hollywood actors, and just watch all the interviews with European and South American sex workers. This movie allows sex workers and their clients from every different class to tell you their stories in their own words.

Dances Sacred and Profane by Charles Gatewood and Fakir Musafar - Fakir has spent his life exploring sensation, using his own body as a canvas. This film is a document of a real Sundance.

The Secretary (DVD). A funny and whitty BDSM inspired movie about an Attorney and his quirky secretary.


BOOKS

Consensual Sadomasochism - How to Talk About It & How to Do It Safely by William A. Henkin & Sybil Holiday. If you can only allot yourself time to read one book, make it this one. This is the most comprehensive book written on the subject.

The Loving Dominant, by Joh Warren

Sensuous Magic by Pat Califia
The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt. This book is specifically included here because it includes wonderful tools for improving your negotiation skills and learning how to ethically deal with multiple-partner situations.

Exhibitionism for the Shy by Carol Queen. Because I know there are some shy lurkers out there!

Health Care Without Shame by Charles Moser, M.D.

Anatomy of Love by Helen Fisher, Ph.D. If you're a thoughtful kinkster, like myself, and want to learn all about the hormonal fireworks going off in your body, this book is for you.

Emily Post’s Etiquette (16th edition): Modified to include modern etiquette situations such as cell phones and email. If possible, read the 1st edition as well, it can add value, particularly if in service to someone with older values. However, if you can just get one, get the newest.

The Fine Arts of Relaxation, Concentration and Meditation by Joel and Michelle Levy. All of these are essential skills to be present, aware and able to focus on submission and service.

Time Management from the Inside Out by Julie Morgenstern. Time management skills are an absolute must for someone in service. Your time is a valuable asset to your owner and you must be able to maximize its effectiveness, as well as find time for personal growth and relaxation time essential to keeping you balanced and happy.

The Body Image Workbook by Thomas Cash. Every submissive or servant should know their own worth. This, and many other books on raising self-esteem, are invaluable to those who might have issues in this arena.

One to One: Self Understanding Through Journal Writing by Christina Baldwin.

Slavecraft, Roadmaps for Erotic Servitude by Guy Baldwin. Philosophical and intense, Slavercraft dares to delve beneath the surface of D/s relationships and gives an intimate and revealing view from a rare perspective- that of a slave. The authors examine the psychology and spirituality behind the Master/slave dynamic, and the result is a book that is resourceful, thought-provoking and sexually charged. Beautifully written and intriguing, Slavecraft is sure to leave an impact.

The Marketplace Series by Laura Antoniou. Plenty of wonderful discussion and views on service as a vocation. I loved the Academy (from the series) A fictionally-created world of an undergroup organization of consensual slavery. It is hot and great writing.

Bondage Fairies by Kondom. This is my favorite series of erotic comics. Sold by individual issue and anthology.

Paying for It edited by Greta Christina. This is a series of pieces written by various types of sex-workers. Through storytelling, sex-workers give valuable advice to clients. A must-read for clients who visit professional sex-workers, much of the advice is applicable cross-discipline.

Whores and Other Feminists edited by Jill Nagle.

Screw the roses, send me the thorns"

Bare -The Naked Truth about Stripping by Elisabeth Eaves.

The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt.

The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt.

The Klutz Book of Knots by John Cassidy.

The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage by Midori.

Flogging by Joseph W. Bean.

Family Jewels by Hardy Haberman.

The Lazy Crossdresser by Anders.

_____________________________

Sincerely with Diversity in Pride,
Ms. Heart
Project Manager for the "Bay Area Women of Color BDSM Photo Project"
www.mistressheartsf.com/woc/html
www.mistressheartsf.com

(in reply to AJCFLA)
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