RE: Respect

RE: Respect (Full Version)

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Wolfspet -> RE: Respect (2/13/2004 6:01:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressDREAD Wolfspet I agree that your choice to suplicate to one man makes you neither a submissive and most definatly NOT a slave. In MY world only slaves speak in third person as they are the ones with in MY Lifestyle whom give up TOTALLY their being and self and body and life to become a * Possession. You stated your stance Your self quite plainly and what I read in MY LIFESTYLES terms is two vanillas whom choose to Top and bottom when They so choose for Their Own enjoyment and this is TOTALLY o.k. BUT when you try to take the position that you fit into one of the associations of either submissive or slave and speak as such this is where the lines for those of US whom have been taught Proticals in your world get fuzzy AND this is where there should be NO FUZZ. These are the problems that have popped up in the past 10 years or so since the invention of ONLINE. The roles, rules,regulations and proticals have always been in place befor this time and it is only the bleeding over of those in the Vanilla life whom have a kink they choose to experiament here on line and then bring it into their Homes and real life starts to make the definitions get smokie and when one calls Them Self a name NOT earned. You say that you serve a Master Wolfspet and yet also state that the both of You do not frequent Munchies or BDSM Social Groups because you both refuse to conform to whats set in the Lifestyle which is fine but do not be offended when you are told that you are NOT of the lifestyle when the positions that you proclaim to sit in have not been earned. A Man whom calls Him self Master with out having any formal training is only a TOP with a Dominant complex and the same can be said for a bottom whom has not had any formal training but professes to be a slave. ~giggles~ just MY OPINION. P.S. your a very cute pet in mind and matter even if I disagree with you and Yours and Wolf should be proud.....* wink ~Ill give you both another 10 years to see the light~ From what I understand you practice a more Gorean philosophy. I was taught protocols, or what there were of them 20 years ago, when I first entered the BDSM world, before the internet came into play. Wolf and I have been a D/s couple for 15 years, we have raised 2 children to adulthood and managed to maintain our relationship throughout. Perhaps you misunderstand the dislike of the local scene for inexperience, neither of us is inexperienced, this is not something we decided to start one day. We are not merley kinky. No we do not attend the local scene. We live this way day by day, and the prevelance of weekend warriors & dishonest spouses turned us off. We DO interact with other couples who are involved in the local scene, we do not choose to attend. I have given my life over to one. But I still maintain, giving to that one does NOT mean I give it to all. I saw in another thread that you mentioned a Master yourself. I know and have known slaves that have slaves of their own. So in that context the slave is as how I feel, owned by one, but not all. How does that differ from my perspective?

kittenbites -> RE: Respect (2/14/2004 9:35:09 AM)
I personally feel that no one has the right to determine whether someone is or is not a 'real' slave or submissive. Everyone I've asked has their own definition for those two terms, some very similar and others very different. In fact, relativity seems to be the basis for most lifestyle terms -- there are so many different interests in the lifestyle that everyone could hardly be placed into two neat boxes labeled 'submissive' or 'slave'. Labelling someone as 'vanilla with a kink' isn't fair to them or whatever lifestyle they choose to participate in. Alright, so you feel a Dominant must be formally trained to be considered a 'Master'. You're welcome to that opinion, but forcing that definition on others within the lifestyle (including experienced Masters without formal training) is hardly fair to the rest of us, with our own thoughts on the subject. In my mind, D/s is very much a 'To each his/her own' lifestyle. The above is all my humble opinion, and while I feel it's accurate, I do apologize if anyone finds it offensive to them.

LazSwann -> RE: Respect (2/14/2004 2:54:27 PM)
Well Gal, YOU GO!!!!! I have been in this lifestyle for over 20 years and no you do not owe respect to anyone but your master and the ones he tells you to respect and be subservient in someway to. Anybody tells you different are trying to mess with your head and need to get a freaking life. To put it a bit more bluntly any dominant who says that ain't worth the effort to spit on.. You want respect earn it cause you sure do not by demanding it. And if you think labeling yourself online as a dominant or master allows you respect you are crazier than a shit house rat and probably a yellow dog democrat who would never vote an issue but insists on voting just for a political party. SO folks flame away at me if you want but I have payed my dues and done it and have the tshirt. But now if you have earned the respect of someone or many someones, I take my hat off to you and ask you to excuse the vent here. Now submissives and slaves think before you kowtow to some fool that says he is a dominant or Master.. and deserves your respect. More than likely you deserve their respect for being honest with yourselves where they are not. Lazarus Swann

Estring -> RE: Respect (2/14/2004 4:32:34 PM)
So Mistress Dread does not have the right to state her opinion, but kitten, you have the right to disagree with her opinion and state your own? People, we all have the right to believe what we want. And we all have the right to express our opinions. Please stop with the "you have no right to..." rant. That is what this message board is for. To express ideas and opinions. I have yet to see anyone here forcing their opinions on anyone else. It's possible that when people start getting personal that feelings will be hurt. That has happened a few times, but so what? We are all adults. We should be able to handle it. If you can't, then stay out. And I'm not saying that I agree with Mistress Dread or that I agree with you kitten. I am saying that I enjoy the different views that are expressed here. And I have that right too.

MistressSaphire -> RE: Respect (2/18/2004 2:29:38 AM)
everyone. With your posts, I found that I both agree'd and disagreed with your statements. Everyone lables people in some way... it may be their religion, sexual orientation or how they choose to express their kink. It is an 'each to their own' but with the same regards, without roughly labeling someone, how do you know if you are waisting your time or not. Which brings up My BIGGEST gripe which relates. I do not expect anyone other than my submissives or slaves to call me Mistress. I feel that it is a disrespect to the work that they have had to put in to achieve that level of communication and respect. Otherwise I normally Wish to be called Miss.. which to me is a more general term. However there are some exceptions to this. Some of the club subs.. who I do feel a connection with, (once talked over with the subs to make sure that they don't have an issue with it.. ) generally quietly start addressing me as Ma'am. Don't know what the rest of you think of how We operate... hope it gives you some insight Wolfs' pet. MistressSaphire

MrKing -> RE: Respect (2/18/2004 6:42:54 AM)
Everyone has good points. I'm the last to take OneTrueWayism seriously - but on the other hand, there are approaches that work, and those that don't. Last I saw any decent data on the subject, a "Long term relationship" in our scene was something like three years - with up to ten in between. Seems to me there's a lot of good reasons to try and get it right. :) So the appeal of a single tried approach is not bad, and a number of the One True Ways do, in fact, have a fair amount of room for interpretation. More importantly, they come with built-in affirmation for Dominant and submissive partners. Nonetheless, there are many of us who could "never belong to any club that would have us as a member," as the immortal Groucho put it. What I do; my style, as it were, is so different from the norm that I'm in constant pissing matches establishing my right to be a Master. With CHUD's, of course, but sometimes with people who really ought to know better. You hear arguments about the difference between Sub and Slave all the time, but not so much about the difference between Master and Dominant. And in fact, there are infinite shades of each, and ranges of skills that only overlap somewhat. In fact, this is something that I've seen as one of the core conflicts between "players" and "lifestylers." Radically different interests in the scene as a whole, camoflaged by the use of a common jargon and taste for leather. :)

cutesub4Him -> RE: Respect (2/20/2004 12:19:55 PM)
hello E/everyone. Please excuse me as this is my first post. i am slave to MasterHarry and no i am not required to speak in 3rd party terminology as some feel slaves should. i for one was raised in a manner to give respect to A/all until T/they prove T/themselves unworthy of my respect. That doesn't mean T/they have my most utmost respect but do give basic respect nontheless. Reguardless of age,sex,religion or whatever.i feel Dominants should be shown mild respect by using Sir/Ma'am, but, that is my opinion and Y/you know what opinions are like. lol

MistressDREAD -> RE: Respect (12/24/2004 2:17:12 AM)
quote: I am a woman who submits to a man, not a orientation most woman submit to men in the vanilla world. However to be a part of the BDSM, Gor or D/s orientation one must admit to some of its proticals, rules and regulations or simply be seen as just another pretty vanilla face................ JMO And as for Respect I was taught to respect My self and others will too, and if they did not Id make damn sure they would. ~wink~

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