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lookingwithin04 -> the first night (7/21/2004 7:13:08 PM)
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As she gets off of the plane she wonders how she will be able to bring herself to do this tonight, she is scared, hopeful, feeling so much in love, and is so hungry for His presence,
As she walks outside she knows it will be awhile before she can gather her bags, so she takes the cigarette and purple lighter that is only used in His presence, around His home, and lights one, feeling so scared, so vulnerable, she questions herself, and wonders why she had allowed herself to come this far. She remembers when she first met Him, online months before, shared beautiful conversations with Him, as He helped her through such a hard time, and then decided to meet Him, decided that she wanted it to be more, decided that she was ready again, and wasn't afraid anymore, wasn't afraid of the pain and she agreed to meet Him. Knowing that this was about to be her third long and awaited visit with Him, she decided weeks before that she wanted to give Him a gift, the most important gift she could give Him, the gift of complete slavery, the gift of giving up all of her control, knowing that she could trust Him, knowing that she respects Him, cares for Him and loves Him and it just seemed like the right time. So weeks before she told Him, told Him that she was ready, through her trembling voice and through her fears that He knew she had He accepted, He took that away from her and began using it to His greatest extent, His greatest pleasures and she was thankful.
As she walked back into the airport, she grabbed her bags and when she came back out she went over to "their meeting spot" and waited, when He arrived He got out of the car, took the suitcases away from her and put them in, opened the door for her and she got in, he closed it walked back over got in the car, and suddenly she looked at him, with so much fear for the first time, she was so truely afraid of her submission at that very moment, and He saw it, wanted to comfort her but knew that isn't what she needed, and all of a sudden He slapped her so hard across the face, one of the hardest that she had ever recieved, she began to cry but still managed to speak the words "thank You Master" and they began their ride back to His home, on the way, new rules were set, she was told she must ask for permission to do anything and everything. She would be escorted to the bathroom and watched everytime she pee'd. She would shower in front of Him after He had taken His, she would not be allowed out of bed until He got out and to make sure of that she would be handcuffed to the bed.
Soon after they arrived at His home He left and she knew what she had to do, for weeks she had this night planned out perfectly and wanted everything to stay that way. So she put her hair in the pig tails as planned and waited and waited till quarter to ten, then she went downstairs to take off her clothes, looked at the collar then placed it around her neck, placed His gift in the middle of the floor and put her purple lace socks around her feet, suddenly she heard Him coming and knelt on the floor, fearing Him and awaiting for the moment he walked through the door.
As her body began trembling she saw his shaddow arise, he walked in the room with this look in His eyes, He came over to wear she was kneeling and gave her a kiss on the cheek , the looked down and saw what was by His feet, she didn't speak, she didn't flinch as He knelt down and unwrapped the gift that she had bought for Him, and was so eager to see in His hand. As He looked at His gift for the very first time, He saw the purple leash that He'd wanted for such a very long time. He hooked it to her collar and dragged her over to the bed, knowing what she had hoped for, wouldn't come to an end, he looked at her softly with the glare in His eyes and as her hands moved to His zipper she knew it was alright, that everything was the same in His eyes that night.
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