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tsatske -> RE: Signs of love (5/12/2008 9:06:06 AM)
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i knew Master was in love with me before he was willing to say it. We had actually discussed love in negotiation, because i am a loveslave, and love is important to me. i need to be loved, and adored. i signed a life contract with him, which says i must petition to be released, and he told me, he would be unlikely to grant me release, without 'good reason'. So that was a negotiation point - was his not eventually falling in love with me, a 'good reason' enough? He talked about how he valued slaves who served for the service, not for love, but he said that clearly was not who i was, and that, yes, for me, not being loved was a good reason to seek release.
But, after i begged to sign his contract, after we spent his 'trail weekend' together to explore and negotiate that contract, it became clear to me that he was indeed falling in love with me, rather he said it or not.
Yes, he does a million things that show me he loves me. But as MasterFireMa'am said, what people will do for different people in their life is different for everyone. i can take the hardest beatings and the hardest play only when i am in love; another painslut can take that pain only if love is not in the mix confusing it.
It was, and still is, a look in his eyes, of naked love. It was also in his choice of me; to Master, a contract, even a life contract, is different from a collar. He has collared only women he loves. that was not something he decided, i could see it when i pointed it out to him, the minute or so of reflecting on it in surprised before he said, 'yes, that is so.'
It is that walking in with your back to them and they stand looking at you. It is the fact that with all the loving support he gives me to change, he finds me beautiful, sexy, desirable, now, i make him happy with my service now, even though it still needs to be so much more. he is able to provide the firm pressure and unyielding support for that change, but he is pleased with the girl already.
at some point, after i signed His contract, i was in His kitchen (at that point we had only our weekends together), working and cleaning, and singing (i am pretty much always singing. usually shit-kicker. gawd, how annoying must that be? really). He walked into the kitchen and stood in the doorway just watching me. then he walked out of the room, came back with a collar, went and stood behind me and locked it on.
but, more than anything else, i'd have to say the one thing that answers your question is the look in his eyes, there are times when he lets his love for me show so nakedly there. he is a very private, close man. i know that it is a concise choice on his part, to let me see that, because he knows that i need it, and i have told him how much i appreciate his willingness to let me in in that way.
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