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needs wants desires - 10/19/2005 3:17:57 AM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		i read post after post and i see alot of comments on peoples needs/wants/desries. i'l like to know in your own opinion what do you feel is a Need - Want - Desrie
what is the difference between the 3
for myself i hate saying i need, to me a need is some thing i have to have in order to survive like water/food. i don't 'need' a spanking i don't need to submit, i want to - desire too but don't need.
i also think useing the need and want is confusing and some times don't make things perfectly celar.
Thoughts please

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: needs wants desires - 10/19/2005 3:23:46 AM   
sweetpettjenny


Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline 		Need: I need to serve
Desire: I desire to be the best slave a can be for (when) i am collared
Want: I want to please

(in reply to swtnsparkling)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: needs wants desires - 10/19/2005 3:49:06 AM   
Phoenixandnika


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling

i read post after post and i see alot of comments on peoples needs/wants/desries. i'l like to know in your own opinion what do you feel is a Need - Want - Desrie
what is the difference between the 3
for myself i hate saying i need, to me a need is some thing i have to have in order to survive like water/food. i don't 'need' a spanking i don't need to submit, i want to - desire too but don't need.
i also think useing the need and want is confusing and some times don't make things perfectly celar.
Thoughts please


A need can be both physical and phsychological.
In my opinion a desire and want can and are often times one in the same.

I think that it is easy to mix up what is a need vs. want. As a slave my Master tries to give me the things that I need. An example, I need his attention from time to time which he gives, however; that attention may not always be the attention I want or desire.

There are somethings that are wants or desires from some but needs for others and I think both needs and wants can and do change.

I also think that to know what you need vs what you want you have to be honest with yourself and that is often times for alot or people to do. I also think that in a relationship it takes constant open and honest communication so both peoples needs can be meet.

A very wise Dom told me a long time ago, "Being a Master is not simply about always getting what you want."

Nika{Phoenix}

_____________________________

"Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it."



(in reply to swtnsparkling)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: needs wants desires - 10/19/2005 3:53:22 AM   
JustaTop


Posts: 511
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline 		Need- Things one cannot do without to keep on living.

Want-often confused for needs. Shoes are convenient-you don't die if you can't have 524 pairs.

Desires-luxuries.

(in reply to swtnsparkling)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: needs wants desires - 10/19/2005 3:54:36 AM   
wetsub000


Posts: 91
Joined: 3/6/2005
Status: offline 		I'm with you, I hate the term Need, think it should be reserved for those things we can't live without and I like to think I have more self-control than to 'Need' BDSM. I too struggle with the way these terms are often used.

(in reply to swtnsparkling)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: needs wants desires - 10/19/2005 4:13:35 AM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		Need~ I need my Sir's love to become the woman I know I can be.

Want~ I want to be the best submissive I can be for him.

Desire~ I desire to have my limits pushed and to feel truly owned by him.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to wetsub000)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: needs wants desires - 10/19/2005 4:18:27 AM   
fyreredsub


Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline 		needs=to survive
wants=usually something selfish
desire= a longing

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to swtnsparkling)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: needs wants desires - 10/19/2005 6:03:00 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Needs are things that need to be present in my life in order for me to be a fulfilled thriving person.

This includes the obvious- food, water, shelter. I also need other things- strong presence of biological family, freedom to enjoy sex in some form, polyamory, music, books, active participation in the world.

If I want to be alive, I need a few things. If I want to be fulfilled, I need more things.

If any of those things are missing, I can still be alive, but I won't be thriving, I will be unfulfilled.

A want is something that you feel is lacking in your life but causes no real strain to your sense of fulfillment. Something like a haircut or new car or clothes or that cute new boy in the corner.

A desire is more the feeling of want, the general sense of wanting an experience or situation. I'm not sure there's much of a meaningful difference between a desire and a want other than the sense of earnestness.


(in reply to swtnsparkling)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: needs wants desires - 10/19/2005 6:48:19 AM   
Synocense


Posts: 255
Joined: 8/8/2004
Status: offline 		Try doing a search for Abraham Maslow's "Hierarchy of Needs." : )

It is too much to explain here.

Syn

_____________________________

Before you speak, ask yourself..
Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?
Does it improve upon the silence?

(in reply to swtnsparkling)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: needs wants desires - 10/19/2005 8:19:09 AM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Synocense

Try doing a search for Abraham Maslow's "Hierarchy of Needs." : )

It is too much to explain here.

Syn


fist choice in Google... http://chiron.valdosta.edu/whuitt/col/regsys/maslow.html
interesting......... TY

Q

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to Synocense)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: needs wants desires - 10/19/2005 8:30:35 AM   
wipmebeetme100


Posts: 198
Joined: 7/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

i also think useing the need and want is confusing and some times don't make things perfectly celar.
Thoughts please


No wonder we are confused when applying these words to our feelings, look at what Mirriam-Webster has to say.

NEED-verb: to be in WANT, lack of something requisite, a physiological or psychological requirement for well-being

WANT-to be NEEDY, to have of feel NEED, to be necessary or NEEDED, to DESIRE to come, go or be, have a strong DESIRE for, to have NEED of.

DESIRE-: to long or hope for : exhibit or feel desire for, to express a wish for, conscious impulse toward something that promises enjoyment or satisfaction in its attainment

Geesh....if you NEED something you are in WANT, if you WANT something then you are NEEDY.....I have decided that from now on i am just going to "DESIRE" everything.....makes things easier for me.

Peace,
cathy

(in reply to swtnsparkling)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: needs wants desires - 10/19/2005 8:38:30 AM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		LOL


_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to wipmebeetme100)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: needs wants desires - 10/19/2005 8:41:57 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
All are words to be used and misused to ones convenience. I use them to assist with communication, if they must be used.
All are earthly.
All are selfish.

If one is what they are then they do not need to want what they desire.

Peace and Love

_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to swtnsparkling)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: needs wants desires - 10/19/2005 9:26:27 AM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline 		Need - Master in my life

everything else i can do with out.

(in reply to darkinshadows)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: needs wants desires - 10/19/2005 10:34:50 AM   
plantlady64


Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline 		Hello There,
I'd say I NEED to serve to be me. It's not a BDSM need, but rather one I've had since childhood.
I WANT to be able to help others as it brings me great joy.
I DESIRE to serve as it fulfills my need to help others.

In a BDSM context,
My only NEED is to trust I will not be permanently physically harmed & my emotions are considered.
I WANT to play, all day every day as I DESIRE the power exchange to give me the joy I can share when I play.

Like you said needs are things you can't go forward without.
Wants are what you'd prefer to have.
Desires are things coming from inside your self that you're driven to get or have happen that you work towards.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to swtnsparkling)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: needs wants desires - 10/19/2005 10:37:30 AM   
ImpGrrl


Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RiotGirl

Need - Master in my life

everything else i can do with out.



That's a very romantic way to look at things.

Romance isn't bad, but it's unrealistic.

A person needs more than that to live, and even more to be fulfilled. If your master is the only thing *outside* of your basic human neds (which go beyond food and shelter) to be fulfilled, great - but you need more than that in life, as well. I second the recommendation of Maslow's hierarchy.

(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: needs wants desires - 10/19/2005 4:33:50 PM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline
quote:

That's a very romantic way to look at things.

Romance isn't bad, but it's unrealistic.

A person needs more than that to live, and even more to be fulfilled. If your master is the only thing *outside* of your basic human neds (which go beyond food and shelter) to be fulfilled, great - but you need more than that in life, as well. I second the recommendation of Maslow's hierarchy.


Ya know i'm told i get abit romantic. i dun believe it! And no i seriously mean just him. i can go with out water for a couple of days, definetly food. Maslow's hierarchy REALLY gets on my nerves. My mother's been spouting that stuff since i was a child. i dun heard it, thanks.

but its not romance. Its truth. All i need is him. Trust me and its very much a pain for him sometimes. There is nothing he can take from me that will make one whit of difference, except him.

Unrealistic in your world, but then i'm not there am i? You dont know me do you? Unfortunetly for you my needs are different. He actually meets my needs. Therefore, all i need is him. Your problem is going to be understanding, that i dont need all that much.


(in reply to ImpGrrl)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: needs wants desires - 10/19/2005 7:11:38 PM   
LadiesBladewing


Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling

i read post after post and i see alot of comments on peoples needs/wants/desries. i'l like to know in your own opinion what do you feel is a Need - Want - Desrie
what is the difference between the 3
for myself i hate saying i need, to me a need is some thing i have to have in order to survive like water/food. i don't 'need' a spanking i don't need to submit, i want to - desire too but don't need.
i also think useing the need and want is confusing and some times don't make things perfectly celar.
Thoughts please


In our household, it is my job to see that needs are met. Those needs may encompass the physical, psychological or spiritual, but they are things that, when they are lacking, they inhibit the individual from being a whole person. It is my job, as an owner, to see to it that my household incorporates the things that keep all of our members whole and healthy.

Wants and desires are the same thing, for me. They are the things that are nice, but aren't required. In order to be able to sort those things out, I must take the time to get to know, carefully, each person and what makes hir tick.

It -is- about more than getting what I want. This dynamic, for us, is a symbiosis. Eventually, everyone gets what they need, and at some points, all of us get some of the things that we want. And everyone, over time, thrives.

Lady Zephyr

(in reply to swtnsparkling)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: needs wants desires - 10/19/2005 7:53:13 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		NEED = What I require to survive and if desired, to improve my quality of life (Like being finally pain free).

WANT = Specific things I desire and are attainable but may not have figured out the best and most effecient method of getting yet. ( I see - I want - I will have).

DESIRE = Things I like. things I see and can fantasise about but are not essentials, things or people who I want to get to know for what ever reason. People who leave me with a raging hard on but are mostly unattainable (at the moment) but are great fantasy material (Like having Angelina Jolie kneeling naked before me or leading her in a shirik only in public on my leash ~ great ego bosting but not practical). These are things which mostly fit into the realm of impossible dreams but are damned good when you are fighting extreme pain and trying to keep on going)

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to LadiesBladewing)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: needs wants desires - 10/19/2005 8:20:27 PM   
sultryvoice


Posts: 368
Joined: 3/31/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JustaTop

Need- Things one cannot do without to keep on living.

Want-often confused for needs. Shoes are convenient-you don't die if you can't have 524 pairs.

Desires-luxuries.



I find this comment from JustaTop puts it in simple and easily understood terms for anyone.

Respectfully,
sultry

_____________________________

Blessed are the cracked,
For it is they who let in the light.


www.themarkbycpi.com

(in reply to JustaTop)
Profile   Post #: 20
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