RE: Wannabe Vanilla

RE: Wannabe Vanilla (Full Version)

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khem -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/12/2008 10:24:01 PM)
I've pretty much always colored a bit outside the lines sexually. I'm grateful that I was raised by fabulous open-minded people who never made me feel like I had to be anything I wasn't comfortable with. I have had intense attractions to straight, vanilla, normal-acting men. Luckily I got away without getting pregnant, married, or frigid.

azropedntied -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/12/2008 10:26:13 PM)
My pleasure- and i am so glad to hear that though i somehow had that feeling that it was- smiles ..

VioletAshes -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/13/2008 4:57:11 AM)
Been running back and forth between Vanilla and BDSM most of my life... depends very much on who you are involved with at the time & if they are into the scene too.

lizcgirl -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/13/2008 6:00:42 AM)
quote: lizc why do you say that there was someting wrong with you. You just were lost and now your found. I don't think there's anything wrong with me NOW, but I used to. I seriously thought I was 'bad' and tried everything I could to change that-- which made me miserable. But you're right, I was lost. And one day I just accepted that if I was gonig to be bad, I at least would be good at it! lol. So I'm totally comfortable now with who I am, it's what makes me happy so I don't worry about it anymore! [:D] Thank you for the sweet words!!

softness -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/13/2008 6:42:32 AM)
Sir and I discussed this morning how we could get into some really edgy role play, like really devious, down right mind fucking role play I am going to sit in a bar and flirt, he is going to buy me a drink, pretend he cares about my career and my pets, I am going to pretend to like his jokes and all so later, we can have mutally unsatisfactory sex, and then bitch about it to our friends. Sounds hot huh!

sleazybutterfly -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/13/2008 11:41:20 AM)
I want to be vanilla, I long to be vanilla. I want to make love without needing to be beaten and used to be turned on. I want "normal", safe..hell, I would even take boring. I want to only feel the need for sex every other week or so. I don't want to need the power and strength of a man over me, or to kneel at his feet waiting for his next command. I hate missing a slap across the face, or having wet dreams of play rape. I have to appear vanilla so much that I have resigned myself into the life I have. I have a bit of play, and an M/s roleplay. That however isn't living the life of the slave I am in my heart. I roleplay at being the "normal" lil wife, when in reality I am anything but.

Prinsexx -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/13/2008 3:05:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave In the spirit of posts regarding wannabe's... Who here has ever played the role of a Wannabe Vanilla, I don't mean this in any negative context. I mean, who has tried like hell to swear off, disvow BDSM like it was some mortal sin. Tried like hell to fit in with the so called norm of society, but no matter how hard you tried. The closet door you were trying to keep shut on BDSM, really did not work, things just seemed to ooze out from under the door anyways? I was vanilla for years and when I look back I realise I was playing a role the entire time.

Prinsexx -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/13/2008 3:11:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: softness I am going to sit in a bar and flirt, he is going to buy me a drink, pretend he cares about my career and my pets, I am going to pretend to like his jokes and all so later, we can have mutally unsatisfactory sex, and then bitch about it to our friends. [sm=applause.gif]

madshysoul -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/13/2008 3:18:33 PM)
I walked entirely away from BDSM last summer. It wasn't that I wanted to get 'away' from it, but rather that I found it important to re-center my life and make sure that all the things that make Me, Me were being respected by me. I am one of the classic high-powered-at-work, sub-at-home people and I found the sub-at-home creeping places it simply could not be. So I took some time off to put the Me back in my skin and find all the appropriate edges again. I think it was actually a very healthy time for me. Not sure if this exactly answers your question, but I thought I'd share anyway.

MotoPsycho -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/13/2008 4:51:16 PM)
Well, normal is all relative isn't it. Personally , I think we're more normal than most...we're honest with ourselves, and in touch with our own personal realities. We've embraced our kinks rather than repressed them, that and we probably have better sex and sexual experience than the rest of the population!! Can't complain about that!

Aanakaris -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/13/2008 4:55:53 PM)
I tried vanilla for a while and because of that I found out just how important BDSM is to me. There really is very little point in pretending to be something you are not. That causes you misery and will probably pass that misery on to your partner as well. Why ruin two peoples good times? Better off indulging yourself in a safe and loving kinky environment. Howard

ToysAndTies -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/13/2008 5:46:27 PM)
Sure, I have certainly longed to be vanilla. More specifically, I wish I could be content living a lifestyle of serial monogamy: it seems simpler, more balanced, more complimentary in nature than a poly approach. I wish I could be happy with the idea that there is one person out there that is the yin to my yang, because at heart, I am a hopeless romantic who desperately desires to find a soulmate. However, regardless of how amazing any partner of mine has been, currently or in my past history, I find myself angry that I want more and am not content. So, in response to the OP, I'm not necessarily a wannabe vanilla (anymore), but I believe I am a wannabe monogamist. But like the posters above who tried life in the kink side and never looked back, I had a poly relationship once, and ever since, I have not been satisfied. TNT

Huntertn -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/13/2008 6:05:11 PM)
You can dress a wolf in sheeps clothing, but its still a wolf inside. I can handle "normal" as well as the next savage, but in the end,the dark side wins out and the floggers come out..LOL Huntertn

kallisto -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/13/2008 6:17:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: softness Sir and I discussed this morning how we could get into some really edgy role play, like really devious, down right mind fucking role play I am going to sit in a bar and flirt, he is going to buy me a drink, pretend he cares about my career and my pets, I am going to pretend to like his jokes and all so later, we can have mutally unsatisfactory sex, and then bitch about it to our friends. Sounds hot huh! I love it! [:)]

slavegirljoy -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/13/2008 10:38:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sleazybutterfly I want to be vanilla, I long to be vanilla. I want to make love without needing to be beaten and used to be turned on. I want "normal", safe..hell, I would even take boring. I want to only feel the need for sex every other week or so. I don't want to need the power and strength of a man over me, or to kneel at his feet waiting for his next command. I hate missing a slap across the face, or having wet dreams of play rape. i used to feel that way and, i tried really, really hard to live the 'normal' life and it just never worked for me. That life was a sham and would have been a farce if it hadn't been so sad. It took too much energy to try to keep up that facade. And, at the end of the day, i felt drained and alone and like a big fake with a secret i had to keep from everyone. Now, i'm free to be who i really am and live my life the way i was intended to live it. What a relief. i finally accepted the fact that, for me, 'normal' is craving the slap across the face, looking forward to kneeling at my Master's feet when He gets home at night, proudly admiring my black and blue marks where He grabs me and pinches me and clamps me and whips me and, especially, being kept in my place by His power and strength over me. That's what makes my life feel real, for the first time ever. No longer am i living a pretend life of "what normal is supposed to be". quote: I have to appear vanilla so much that I have resigned myself into the life I have. I have a bit of play, and an M/s roleplay. That however isn't living the life of the slave I am in my heart. I roleplay at being the "normal" lil wife, when in reality I am anything but. Thank goodness i stopped role playing the "normal" life and got back to the business of living my life. Life is soooooooo much better now. joy Owned servant of Master David

HalloweenWhite -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/13/2008 11:49:38 PM)
I remember when I was in college in My late teens suddenly discovering what a rush I got when I was in a position to control a girlfriend and seeing her reaction to it. I was worried I was Ted Bundy so I blocked out the idea of dominating a girl.....until the chance (and the rush) of doing it again came back. This went on for a year or more until I discovered there was a whole other group of people who were doing what I'd had glimpses of and that there was a name for it-BDSM. Nowadays, I'm vanilla ony on the outside and when I'm just talking with people, I don't go arund trying to dominate -anyone- because I understand "S.S.C" and I don't posture because I can't pull it off, I think if I was....not as close the the ground as others I could though.

calice -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/13/2008 11:58:23 PM)
there was a time when i tried to deny the submissive side of me, thankfully that time has long since passed. For me there came a time when I had to admit this is was just who I am. I was also blessed with a bit a of luck about that same time when I started to find others like me and reallize that I wasn't so different after all.

eyesopened -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/14/2008 1:42:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lizcgirl I didn't know the details of BDSM but I knew that I believed there was something 'wrong' with me. I wasn't happy with vanilla relationships- it always felt like there was something missing for me. So I fought it, I 'control' myself and be content with what I believed was acceptable. That's how i felt too! i thought if anyone knew what i was really thinking they would run, screaming in horror! It took sitting myself down and really examining why my marriage failed, why none of my relationships felt right. After my divorce, i was with a dear "friend with benefits" and without ever discussing BDSM or D/s or anything, he grabbed my labia, squeezed hard, and growled "whose pussy is this?" and the answer came without pause or hesitation and i about came right then and there! But alas, we were just buddies and after a short fling moved away both geographicaly and emotionally and i went another 9 years thinking that experience was nothing more than a fluke and that it would never happen again. i gave up totally and was once again wondering why i could never be very interested in the men i dated. i will never go back to that misery. i discovered that my very first act of submission was to surrender to myself, my core, my need. Once i did that, well, life has been good!

Mostlyjaded -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/15/2008 11:19:57 AM)
I feel exactly the same way - I have tried for years to suppress my feelings about BDSM but find it creeps back into my mind all the time. I am finally starting to realize that this is normal, I am normal and have normal needs.

Gleegal67 -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/15/2008 11:42:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Huntertn You can dress a wolf in sheeps clothing, but its still a wolf inside. I can handle "normal" as well as the next savage, but in the end,the dark side wins out and the floggers come out..LOL Huntertn Thank goodness for people like you Huntertn!!! I tried to go Vanilla two times... Fiance #1 - rich, a good man, everything I could dream to own or do - except no bdsm...I couldn't do it...money didn't matter...my soul mattered more. Fiance #2 - Scottish, passionate, world was our oyster...absolutely no bdsm...I couldn't do it...my heart and soul deserved to be nourished. Temptation to compromise my soul, oh it was strong, but I'm proud that I chose to keep my soul intact! Life is grand...it's challenging...it's exciting...it's down right scary at times...it's wonderous...it's forgiving...it's amazingly loving...

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