RE: "Will you do it tonight sir? I'm tired." (Full Version)

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Vanatru -> RE: "Will you do it tonight sir? I'm tired." (5/15/2008 9:17:14 AM)

well, if she were a little kid, I'd say that this is a classical example of rebellious child testing boundaries. I guess in some people's minds they somehow equate being submissive as this child-state. Adults have responsibilities whether they like it or not, and if they don't take care of it, stuff falls apart. Same thing is true in a straight or d/s relationship. Everyone is responsible, and just cause one person is the dom doesn't suddenly, magically remove all responsibility from the sub.



Leatherist -> RE: "Will you do it tonight sir? I'm tired." (5/15/2008 9:56:25 AM)

Sometimes it's actually about fatigue-not some insecure feeling of being defied that a Top feels in not getting thier gratification on demand, every time.



Enochian -> RE: "Will you do it tonight sir? I'm tired." (5/16/2008 4:05:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vanatru
... classical example of rebellious child testing boundaries. I guess in some people's minds they somehow equate being submissive as this child-state. Adults have responsibilities whether they like it or not....


Wow.  That just hit a huge nerve with me; and made me realize why I find so much "sub/slave" behavior so.. well.. *annoying*.

I don't want to deal with a "child-state"; I want an adult that knows their responsibilities, and dosn't have that 'testing boundries" personality trait.  I understand that one will have that at the begining; but after a period I expect it to cease.  And when it dosn't; I get "done" (as they say) very quickly.

Thank you for that.  It's those flashes of insight that come from these boards that makes them so compelling at times!

------
"Do as thou will; shall be the Whole of the Law"



hopelessfool -> RE: "Will you do it tonight sir? I'm tired." (5/16/2008 7:13:28 PM)

Very true We all do, And it its your responsbility as my Dominant partner to care for my well being (at least in my dynamic it is) If I cant do something its because for some reason I cant. I dont shirk my responsbilities. If Im saying Daddy Im to ____ I just cant  Its after I have tried and failed. Or know If I do try I will fail. 

And Just because Im sub doesnt mean that it removes ALL responsbilities from the Dom.  What good is having a girl, if you dont care for her properly.. ( Do one task and have her be better in a couple of days or be trumped by as Doctor, and have her out for a week... one day.. a week... Im going to go with one day)

While It might be required for me to do something, If I cant do it. Its my partners responsiblility to see that I cant and to either let it slide do it himself  wait till im better or deal with the conquences of his actions. Ie my puking all over him because I couldnt get to the toilet because I had to do such task ( but then Im a bit of a brat when It comes to someone telling me exactly whats going on in my body when they arnt me...) If Im sick (Which is usually the only reason I dont do my assigned tasks) Im sick. Im not going to say im sick when Im not. Why? The girl who cried wolf ring a bell.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Vanatru

well, if she were a little kid, I'd say that this is a classical example of rebellious child testing boundaries. I guess in some people's minds they somehow equate being submissive as this child-state. Adults have responsibilities whether they like it or not, and if they don't take care of it, stuff falls apart. Same thing is true in a straight or d/s relationship. Everyone is responsible, and just cause one person is the dom doesn't suddenly, magically remove all responsibility from the sub.




missfrillypants -> RE: "Will you do it tonight sir? I'm tired." (5/16/2008 8:18:37 PM)

although i agree that in this case you did the right thing, i also think you need to get her to set up the bed before play sessions from now on... i am also one of those who has trouble doing ordinary things (or even moving much) afterwards.

i'm not saying she was right, it just may make it easier in the future, because a lot of women have that kind of problem.





meticulousgirl -> RE: "Will you do it tonight sir? I'm tired." (5/17/2008 7:48:04 PM)

i love the term positive affection

must be nice.......i dont remember what that feels like (*sighs* sadism sux sometimes)

~meticulous~



NorthernGent -> RE: "Will you do it tonight sir? I'm tired." (5/18/2008 3:54:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: uniquecouple2123

Last night after a nice spanking and a little more fun [;)] I told her to put up her blanket and get the bed ready to go to sleep. She said she was tired and asked me to do it in a very respectful way. I told her no that she would have to do it she whined for a bit but I did not give in and she eventually did it.

My question is, is it alright for me to relent and do it myself sometimes or do I have to be steadfast so i can be consistent. After I did it, even though afterwards she seem to appreciate my positive affection for her eventually obeying me, I felt kind of like an asshole and thought maybe I was being too harsh.

What do you guys think?



'Depends on the circumstance. On rare occasions, I'll do it.

But, not when asked by her - we ain't bartering for a cow down the market.

And, what's going on with the whining? If she can't take it in her stride, perhaps a spell in solitary confinement at his majesty's pleasure will help her along her way.



Level -> RE: "Will you do it tonight sir? I'm tired." (5/18/2008 5:12:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: uniquecouple2123

Hi all, my name is Bill. I am the D in a brand new D/s relationship. When my current girlfriend Devin and I met only just over a month ago neither of us were even mildly interested in BDSM or D/s. Just a little rough sex here and there. Since then we have found that we love and enjoy the BDSM scene and the D/s relationship.

But Devin is a very rebellious submissive and is adjusting to being submissive since before she met me she was the dominant partner in all her other relationships. She has times where she is insolent and I correct her and sometimes she is angry and sometimes she is content but I am always consistent.

Last night after a nice spanking and a little more fun [;)] I told her to put up her blanket and get the bed ready to go to sleep. She said she was tired and asked me to do it in a very respectful way. I told her no that she would have to do it she whined for a bit but I did not give in and she eventually did it.

My question is, is it alright for me to relent and do it myself sometimes or do I have to be steadfast so i can be consistent. After I did it, even though afterwards she seem to appreciate my positive affection for her eventually obeying me, I felt kind of like an asshole and thought maybe I was being too harsh.

What do you guys think?



She sounds spoiled.
 
There isn't anything wrong with doing for a submissive, unless it ends up rewarding poor behaviour.
 
At least she asked nicely....



MasterSteel007 -> RE: "Will you do it tonight sir? I'm tired." (5/29/2008 10:46:44 AM)

I wouldn't be mean...
But I would definitely NOT bend my friend...



ShatteredSoul123 -> RE: "Will you do it tonight sir? I'm tired." (5/29/2008 10:54:09 AM)

I love this question.

I think the answer all depends. At times, yes you can be more relaxed and less consistant. It keep the relationship healthy and can take the stress off your sub.

However from what you are desribing I would recommend not being lax about things just yet. It seems to me she is testing to see what she can and can't get away with. If she is testing, the last thing you want is for her to get her way!



RCdc -> RE: "Will you do it tonight sir? I'm tired." (5/30/2008 4:01:13 AM)

This is Darcy

Though I am well served by the wonderful dark I do occasionally like to do something for her, as a show of my affection and gratitude for her tireless service for me. Even now, she sometimes struggles to accept this, as she believes that it is her role to serve me all the time, but she has grown to understand that if I make her a coffee, for example, then it is because I value my girl, and like to show this in a variety of ways, one of which is to do something for her.

As the.dark herself has said, we see our relationship as akin to that of a gardener and a flower. She is the beautiful, radiant flower, constantly blooming in her service to me, but without nurturing, and regular care and attention that flower would wilt, and so I like to look after her, in every sense of the word, whether making her feel financially, emotionally or physically secure.



DesFIP -> RE: "Will you do it tonight sir? I'm tired." (5/30/2008 4:27:56 AM)

On the other hand, if she always crashes immediately after playing and he knows this, then he's being clueless by waiting until she's exhausted to have her do this. He ought to get her to set things up ahead of time.

For me, aftercare involves sleep. Being disallowed to sleep causes subdrop for me. I'd be a lot less willing to play, and tense and unhappy during, if I knew he was deliberately causing me to drop by timing things this badly.



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