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Acting on impulse - 5/12/2008 1:48:24 PM

hsspode

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Dommes and subs,

Have you ever been in the mood of sessioning and had an impulse to do or try something you have never done before. Maybe it was an activity that was a little extreme or would push your limits... Maybe it was something that you knew the person your playing with would have a big reaction to good or bad... What was this activity and how did it turn out? Did you go back for more or was it just too much and overloaded your senses?

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RE: Acting on impulse - 5/12/2008 1:55:55 PM

darchChylde

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Maybe it's just me; but i think that the last place you should follow any new, extreme or limit-pushing impulses would be in the middle of a scene. Those are things you should take note of, and share with your partner afterwards; perhaps even taking on an instructional course or two.

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RE: Acting on impulse - 5/12/2008 2:09:11 PM

BoiJen

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I dunno about that. First time I drank piss was spontaneous (sp?). Totally unplanned and not something I ever thought I would do. Turns out I like doing it and it's one of the most intimate acts, in my opinions.

I don't think scripting a scene is the best way to go. Negotiation, for me, generally looks like "What will and won't you do under any circumstances? What can't you do because of physical limitations? Anything not covered you need to be able to communicate about during the scene." And off we are like a herd of turttles.

Very often while exploring that whole "feeling more in charge from the bottom" thing with MsK, we try new things for Her as a bottom. Face slapping for instance. I enjoy faceslapping on a VERY high level from both sides of things. MsK, before me, had never been faceslapped. So in the middle of choking Her and pulling on Her hair (She loves it!) I told Her I wanted to and She took a deep breath and said "Okay, but I won't promise I'm not going to slap the shit out of you back."

I'ma risk taker. I enjoy things like this. Trying new things in a scene is great in opinion. Especially if it's a scene with someone you REALLY enjoy doing scenes with.

Hope that makes sense.

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RE: Acting on impulse - 5/12/2008 2:23:25 PM

abqowner

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I used to have a t-shirt that read "Another G*Damn Life Lesson!" This was one of these. I was in scene with a beloved pet and decided to try cinnamon oil on her. Just an impulse. She was such a delicate little thing. The reaction, to say the least, was dramatic and beyond control. HUGE mistake.

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RE: Acting on impulse - 5/12/2008 2:23:37 PM

darchChylde

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i understand where you're coming from, BoiJen; and i agree that scripting a scene is not the way to go. But the types of things that the OP brought up seem to me as the type of things that can cause a very negative reaction. Especially when he said "extreme". That brought to mind edgeplay, things like cutting and choking; which can both be very nice, but can also very easily go very wrong..

i don't think a dominant should have to discuss every little idea with their submissive, since they should already know their submissive's do's and don'ts; but i still don't think that trying out new things on impulse is a very good idea.

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to BoiJen)

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RE: Acting on impulse - 5/12/2008 2:30:44 PM

BoiJen

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If you're working within the negotiated limits what's the problem? Extreme or not...it's gonna come up sometime...why not do it when the mood strikes? I've found that those "in touch" and with good in scene communication can do new and exciting "extreme" things without a problem. From watching scenes and from being in them...top and bottom.

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RE: Acting on impulse - 5/12/2008 2:37:57 PM

darchChylde

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

If you're working within the negotiated limits what's the problem? Extreme or not...it's gonna come up sometime...why not do it when the mood strikes? I've found that those "in touch" and with good in scene communication can do new and exciting "extreme" things without a problem. From watching scenes and from being in them...top and bottom.

Maybe because if i'm tied up, don't want to experience needle-play with someone who doesn't know wha they're doing just because they got a wild hair up their ass while tying my nuts into knots. Just because it's not a hard limit, doesn't mean to go ahead and do it.

< Message edited by darchChylde -- 5/12/2008 2:39:41 PM >

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to BoiJen)

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RE: Acting on impulse - 5/12/2008 2:42:16 PM

BoiJen

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Maybe I misunderstand what "limit" means...my understanding was it means don't do x, y, and z. And if it's not mentioned in the limits part of negotiation, then it IS up for grabs. That is, after all, why we negotiate, right?

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RE: Acting on impulse - 5/12/2008 2:47:17 PM

darchChylde

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i give up

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to BoiJen)

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RE: Acting on impulse - 5/12/2008 3:16:24 PM

LadyJeelys

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quote:

ORIGINAL: hsspode

Dommes and subs,

Have you ever been in the mood of sessioning and had an impulse to do or try something you have never done before. Maybe it was an activity that was a little extreme or would push your limits... Maybe it was something that you knew the person your playing with would have a big reaction to good or bad... What was this activity and how did it turn out? Did you go back for more or was it just too much and overloaded your senses?

I don't push "limits". Secondary should be able to trust that I won't suddenly do one of the very few things he doesn't want to do. And considering there is a lot he does because I want it, I don't see a purpose in breaking his trust just to jerk his chain.

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RE: Acting on impulse - 5/12/2008 8:48:00 PM

Vigilantejustice

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quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

i give up

Ooooh, oooh! I'm taggin' myself in on this one then, lol.

I think what darch is talking about is more like soft limits. For me, if something is a soft limit it means that it is a: something I have to be in an appropriate headspace to enjoy (like cutting or humiliation) or b: something that I would only do with someone I have a very specific relationship with (like breath play or water sports). There's also option c: I am intrigued, but not ready to go there *quite* yet.

If someone I was playing with got a wild hair and said "well, it's not a hard limit so I'm going to push this envelope" it could go very bad very quickly. That can be the kind of thing where I might respond "If you value your genitals being attached to your body I'd suggest you back off of that RIGHT NOW."

Was that what you meant, DarchChylde?

-Corinne
House Vigilante
At that point it has become a communication issue, bordering on a breach of trust.

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