Vanillia BDSM...a white paper on being quite moderate in an extreme lifestyle (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

westside -> Vanillia BDSM...a white paper on being quite moderate in an extreme lifestyle (10/19/2005 8:50:25 AM)


Face it, we’re out there. We scare the grandmothers of the world, the school boards and the republicans. So what if we wanna dress like Batman (TM) an get a spanking from a nun...or whatever.

But even so, when I read that someone’s not into “ scat, children or animals” – ugh. Neither am I . In fact, I’m pretty vanilla for this group; more play than pain, more costuming than 24/7. And so, I think, are most of the people here.

So here’s a vote for being the most boring in the lifestyle – gentle, slow and fun. Join me?

As always, safe, sane and consensual...and a bit plain,

Wes

PS Robin, on the other hand...



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Vanillia BDSM...a white paper on being quite moderate in an extreme lifestyle (10/19/2005 8:54:34 AM)

Unless we're IN clubs or AT parties, you really couldn't tell 90% of the time that any of us weren't just living normal lives. We still have bills to be paid and life troubles and insurance and all that.

Personally I AM into most of the "hard limits stuff" and I tend to like extreme humiliation and other types of play.

But I also love going to the movies or sitting at home watching tv or playing with kitty cats or spoiling my nephews.

It's really not an "either/or" situation for me. I DO think the "not so kinky and into club" section of the bdsm group can tend to feel pushed aside or ignored or made irrelevant and that's no good.



Littlepita -> RE: Vanillia BDSM...a white paper on being quite moderate in an extreme lifestyle (10/19/2005 9:34:36 AM)

Last night I said to my Dom that I think I'm very vanilla with a big swirl of kink in me. The kink becomes more pronounced with my discovery of this new me that has been emerging. Someday I might be more kink then vanilla, but right now I like the way I am. Heck I even surprised my Sir the other day by asking him about fire play and sending him the link on here about caning. Two things I really didn't think I would be into until I read about them and gave it some thought. That is why I try hard not to judge others and their kinks. What I find to be a big no today just might be a maybe tomorrow. Well, some things anyway. [;)]



ExistentialSteel -> RE: Vanillia BDSM...a white paper on being quite moderate in an extreme lifestyle (10/19/2005 10:01:09 AM)

There has to be balance in all things. I tend to push pretty hard with caning or whatever because I think pushing keeps the relationship razor sharp. However, I want my slave to feel competent and confident in life. I also don’t want her outed because of her career and family. I never whip her so much that it will affect her seriously afterwards even if she wants it. I would never make her perform public punishments. What I make her do is only for us or possibly others in the D/s community. I guess you can say that I’m in the conservative sector of the lifestyle.



OscarHargraves -> RE: Vanillia BDSM...a white paper on being quite moderate in an extreme lifestyle (10/19/2005 11:21:48 AM)

I too tend to be on the conservative side of this lifestyle. I enjoy the kink and the fun stuff. I enjoy the TPE and the sex, but I also live in the real world and have obligations and desires there.



KittenWithaTwist -> RE: Vanillia BDSM...a white paper on being quite moderate in an extreme lifestyle (10/19/2005 11:39:37 AM)

Every day, day to day, my Master and I are pretty much vanilla. We're just people. We don't do a terrible lot of hard S&M play at home, though we do from time to time. We just like to be with each other. We're *smirk* normal.

Now, if only I could stop getting my fantasies and desires to stop whirlwinding around pain, blood, and rape...no one would ever know that I was different.



JustaTop -> RE: Vanillia BDSM...a white paper on being quite moderate in an extreme lifestyle (10/19/2005 11:53:57 AM)

I didn't join an alternate lifestyle to explore new horizons of conformity.[:D]



LadiesBladewing -> RE: Vanillia BDSM...a white paper on being quite moderate in an extreme lifestyle (10/19/2005 12:10:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JustaTop

I didn't join an alternate lifestyle to explore new horizons of conformity.[:D]


One does not have to -conform- to cooperate. I live and work in the outside world. At the moment, I work for one of the most conservative sectors in the US, as an editorial assistant connected to a medical school and med center. Everything about who and what we are as an institution is vanilla, and not just vanilla, but completely uniformly without variation or "flavor"... except for me. I am tattooed, and make no effort to hide them. Sometimes my clothes cover them, sometimes they don't. My head is shaved ( a requirement of the level that I am at on my spiritual path), and I wear loose, flowing outfits of natural fibers, compared to the polyester business dress of my counterparts. My work is -also- exceptional, because I expect that of myself.

At the same time, I am considered to be a "cohesive, calming and uniting presence within this department" (that from my last review). People come to me, and know that I will listen, and I make it a point to be a -part- of the community that is my office.

I am everything that I have allowed to be a part of my life. I am a teacher, a guide, a ball-busting editor, a calm voice on the phone, a Mahgi (Master) in my spiritual path, a mother, a preacher, an ethicist, a politician, a dreamer... no matter what we are, or how hard we play, or how "out" we are, there are parts of this life that we share -- and those can be celebrated without needing to conform...the only requirement is to recognize and respect the similarities and the differences.

Lady Zephyr



FLButtSlut -> RE: Vanillia BDSM...a white paper on being quite moderate in an extreme lifestyle (10/19/2005 3:18:42 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JustaTop

I didn't join an alternate lifestyle to explore new horizons of conformity.[:D]


It isn't about conformity, it is about accepting everyone's various levels of "kink" without the nonsense of "my kink is better (or more real) than your kink".



Sensualips -> RE: Vanillia BDSM...a white paper on being quite moderate in an extreme lifestyle (10/19/2005 8:55:23 PM)

Wild to mild.

Put me in a room with my typical friends I've had since college and all with agree I am the most sexual and shocking person by far.

Put me in in the room at the local BDSM club, and I am almost prudish.

But check back in a year or so. That may change. :)



ppaddleman -> RE: Vanillia BDSM...a white paper on being quite moderate in an extreme lifestyle (10/19/2005 9:58:37 PM)

Technically! Normal sex is ---
- A married couple
- One man one woman, both hetro
- In the marital bed
- With the bedroom door closed
- In the evening
- With the kids already asleep
- With the man on top and the woman underneath
- Orgasming only once.

Absoloutely everything else is kinky sex.



KittenWithaTwist -> RE: Vanillia BDSM...a white paper on being quite moderate in an extreme lifestyle (10/19/2005 10:04:01 PM)

Well darn, I guess I'm not having normal sex then. I'm not married and most of the time, I'm not having orgasms. Doesn't sound very kinky to me. Blah.



BalletBob -> RE: Vanillia BDSM...a white paper on being quite moderate in an extreme lifestyle (10/19/2005 10:15:28 PM)

Hi Westside. I would like to join you. I too am nice and slow, and at times boring...but I like the way I am, and won't be changing it anytime soon, for anyone. I am so boring, my Dear Bunny Muffins has stayed with me for over 30 years, knowing I won't get excited and run off somewhere....LOL

It's the best way to be, BalletBob

PS for KittenWithaTwist......I just read your profile, and was wondering, what kind of shoes are you wearing, when they tell you, "Nice Shoes, wanna (Censored)?" I do love your Kitty Picture too....really Cute.

Wish I was Tied and Gagged in my Mary Janes, BalletBob



KittenWithaTwist -> RE: Vanillia BDSM...a white paper on being quite moderate in an extreme lifestyle (10/19/2005 10:17:35 PM)

*smirks* Nothing terribly appealing, I can assure you.



MissDiandSirHugh -> RE: Vanillia BDSM...a white paper on being quite moderate in an extreme lifestyle (10/20/2005 1:28:46 AM)

Would'nt this be a boreing old world if we all did the same thing day in and day out 7 days a week 24 hours a day.
Which most of us would never consider but do do that repetitious work side of our lives for so many hours a day to make a few dollars to keep eating and stay out of debt and live as we so much wish to after our time is spent in the general population and to explore all different ideas and ways of enjoying both pleasure and pain that our indervidual minds can think of and to forget the ones that would not be a pleasure to us but would be to some one else.
If as time slips by an idea emerges that once was passed over as a no go area then once again it shows we each have not been made from the same mould and been cast into a one group life one of conformity



BalletBob -> RE: Vanillia BDSM...a white paper on being quite moderate in an extreme lifestyle (10/22/2005 6:19:15 PM)

Well your sure of getting a Compliment from me, without asking for anything else, if your wearing Mary Janes....well Ballet Slippers or Pointe Shoes too..I guess.

Nosey..I mean Curious.

The Footwear Inspector, for your modeling needs, BalletBob

PS What's "YOUR" Kitty's name?



SirSix72 -> RE: Vanillia BDSM...a white paper on being quite moderate in an extreme lifestyle (10/22/2005 6:46:49 PM)

I dont think thats what JustAtop was refering to FLButtSlut...he is talking about that the fact of many Doms conform to the way subs/slaves want them to be...to adhere to their morals and emotional boundries or ya wont do type of thing....and I agree with him if I wanted to conform I wouldve stayed vanillia and coddled the women...worshiping them.......with the hopes I could get laid....I see alot of conforming in order to play.....which if it turns yer page then do it by all means but dont step this way expecting it to be anyother way then the way it is here.......you are at my feet and may beg for something and not get it if I see that you dont deserve it or im just feeling that you are being a little attention slut........this is about a power exchange not negotiating what turns you on so that I can please you.........you are here to please and serve me nothing more or nothing less....

Master Six



frenchpet -> RE: Vanillia BDSM...a white paper on being quite moderate in an extreme lifestyle (10/22/2005 11:50:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ppaddleman

Technically! Normal sex is ---
- A married couple
- One man one woman, both hetero
- In the marital bed
- With the bedroom door closed
- In the evening
- With the kids already asleep
- With the man on top and the woman underneath
- Orgasming only once.

Absoloutely everything else is kinky sex.

That's scary, not normal. Are you sure the number of strokes isn't normalized ? And are you sure the woman should have an orgasm ? After all we're not even sure they really have orgasms at all [stroking a 19th century beard].

Also, you forgot that according to the Cathollic church this shouldn't happen on sundays because it is the day of God, nor on fridays because it is the day of Virgin Mary, nor on monday because it is the day of resurrection (although according to the bible it was sunday, but that's a detail)... I think only 2 days were allowed.



westside -> RE: Vanillia BDSM...a white paper on being quite moderate in an extreme lifestyle (11/6/2005 8:24:56 AM)

Thanks for your responses. I, like most people here, am still exploring and learning. See my more recent posts for other questions ...and a few answers.

Big D Wes



Page: [1]

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
3.076172E-02