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RE: Turn of events - 5/14/2008 8:01:47 AM

pahunkboy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or

No no Hunk, can't trust her BROTHER around money.

T

Oops, my mistake. Sorry...

(in reply to Termyn8or)

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RE: Turn of events - 5/14/2008 8:26:59 AM

MladyHathor

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The past is the past, you cannot go back and rekindle or revive what MEMORIES remember---if you could it would not be called the past---you need to look to the NOW---who you are NOW, who she is NOW--what lessons you have learned or not, what changes have been made or not--and why this time it got to you---were you more vulnerable, lonely, more aware etc--then its baby steps--and the first one is to blanket your heart with protection---the last thing you want to do is walk in with expectations and find they were fantasy OR end up having hot sex and that's all it is and you end up empty---

Sounds like exlover frenzy---calm down, get your head straight--and if you go-- expect nothing more than a cold glass of soda and a shocked welcome.

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RE: Turn of events - 5/14/2008 9:38:52 AM

Termyn8or

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MH, agreed. That is exactly what I want to find out. Who she is now.

I don't want the past, I could've had the past and I didn't want it then.

To explain, her and her brothers were among the most popular people I have ever met. The way I wanted it was to take her and move her away from all this. I mean several states away, I saw it as the only way. She always had plenty of guys after her, but she rarely "put out". I wanted to keep it that way.

I mean they were REALLY popular. They didn't even consider having a party without three kegs of beer and a garbage can full of punch spiked with 190 grain alcohol. There would be like fifteen Harleys parked in the front yard. And please whoever's weed this is, get it off the pool table so we can shoot.

In retrospect I see that is what scared me, I could be replaced too easily. She could just about have any guy she wanted.

And I was no saint either. (to say the least) I was a nut. Bucking authority was my theme, because I have been doing whatever I want whenever I want since I was twelve. I saw the potential for disaster, and hurt in a way that is not good, again to say the least.

Even now, though I am not sure, I think in this case it is better to have not loved and lost. But this time around is different.

I have to figure out the right time and place, I will go see her. If she doesn't want me now fine. I think I can handle it. Someone mentioned kids, I think we probably agree that it is too late.

But, I have a job that is very flexible, and so does she. She got herself into a union that is very hard to get into, I know the people in it. I know how hard it is. But the thing is, now that we might be ready, if I knocked her up today, I would be 48 when the kid is born. I would be 58 when he turns 10. (yes I am sure she would give me a son). I would be 65 when the kid learns to drive. It's not fair.

Of all the words of mouth or pen, the saddest of these is 'it might have been'.

But that does not change the here and now.

I must go see her, it is just a matter of where and when.

T

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RE: Turn of events - 5/14/2008 11:58:58 AM

DomAviator

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MladyHathor

The past is the past, you cannot go back and rekindle or revive what MEMORIES remember---if you could it would not be called the past---you need to look to the NOW---who you are NOW, who she is NOW--what lessons you have learned or not, what changes have been made or not--and why this time it got to you---were you more vulnerable, lonely, more aware etc--then its baby steps--and the first one is to blanket your heart with protection---the last thing you want to do is walk in with expectations and find they were fantasy OR end up having hot sex and that's all it is and you end up empty---

Sounds like exlover frenzy---calm down, get your head straight--and if you go-- expect nothing more than a cold glass of soda and a shocked welcome.

Yeah - It kind of reminds me of the Harry Chapin song TAXI... :) (Or of course sequel - or even Dan Fogelbergs "Same Auld Langsyne")

Of course there is also the potential for shock and awe - and not in the good way. I went to my 10th college reunion, only to discover that the "one that got away" was an absolute godsend! I came away from that reunion thinking "Holy Shit, I dated that fucking fruitcake for two years what was I thinking" Just thinking about it I am mumbling the Clinton Mantra over and over "I did not have sexual relations with that woman. I did not have sexual relations with that woman...." LOL

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RE: Turn of events - 5/14/2008 12:27:09 PM

pahunkboy

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Time and place are hugely important.

For some matters, I send a paper letter. It must be handled. Yes, it could be thrown away w/o reading it; but who could resist? especially now when paper letters are from a prior century.

Then there are matters that are best face to face, in that a reply is needed- meaning facial expressions irregardless of the words.

The plenty of competition thing - I can see how that is a factor.

With intrusive TV, phones, time and place are even more important.

Cell phones have ruined alot of quality time. In a way you can tell how important you are to the buddy by how the cell phone is used. If I am an afterthought, then not much point to me being there. Even when people are on TV, or in a car chase the cell connected to the air. Worse are the ear pieces. I can never tell if the wear-er is free to talk or not. The point is that it is hard today to obtain undivided attention of another human.

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RE: Turn of events - 5/14/2008 2:43:53 PM

MladyHathor

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Not to thread steal but I am off to My 40th next year, I left and never looked back, this should be good--

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RE: Turn of events - 5/14/2008 4:39:57 PM

Termyn8or

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DA, you know about Sequel ? I didn't until I became the dastardly downloader. Noone thusfar who I have played it for was even aware of it's existence, and a couple of them were Chapin fans.

BTW, there is no way to hijack this thread, if something takes my mind off of the situation for a time that is fine. At least nobody mentioned Cat's In The Cradle.

I think I am going to handle this like a first meeting, except for one thing, I can just go over her house. She would not feel threatened by me. In fact she works in the trades and might just be able to kick my ass. And you know what, that might be fun. So it is a little different. But I am not going to rush into anything nor am I going to assume there is anything into which to rush.

Enough for now, thanks for the encouragement.

T

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