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RE: The Submissive's Handbook - 5/13/2008 1:57:13 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		Chapter 226 - Letters from True Submissives.

My Master is so indecisive. Sometimes he yells at me 'Give me chocolate! Give me chocolate!' but when I offer him chocolate he often says 'No thanks I'm diabetic.' What am I to do?
jenny

I am not the most fastidious slave it is true, but this time I made the effort. I laid out Mistress's floggers, all fifteen of them, prepared her corset and polished her boots, chilled the wine, put on the music, and everything she expected. I even prepared her favourite supper, but couldn't help thinking that there was something wrong. It wasn't until 3 days after she was due to turn up that I realized she had released me four years ago after my period of service of two and a half weeks.
slave paul

My Master calls a spade a spade. He's not very outspoken. He just can't think of another word for a spade.
sally

My Master has been acting strange ever since his employer told him that the jobs at the company are all being moved to India. Master seems to be pissed all the time. I can't understand why. I've always wanted to visit Calcutta and the Taj Mahal.
kathy

I've had my profile on Collarme for three years now.. On my profile I clearly state that I'm a 'bored middle-aged housewife wanting to learn about submission' but all I seem to get are Doms who want me to do their cleaning and ironing. I don't get it.
panda

Master asked me to play a DVD he handed to me. I put it in the player and we started watching. There were warnings telling us not to watch pirate movies. But then the title of the movie came up and it was 'Pirate Pete and his female galley slaves' so I switched it off. Master punished me. I'm so confused.
angie

I've just met my Master three weeks ago and I'm now his collared slave. But I'm very worried. He keeps asking me to kneel in the bedroom and then he tries to stick his penis into my mouth. Is this normal?
kate

It's not true what people say about Doms in Africa. My Master comes from the Congo but he has never heard of a drink called Um Bongo.
jacquie
(for US readers see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRBohQxBh2k)

I am a female slave, 53, collared to my Master who is 71 and even after 25 years of being together I have found a secret for keeping our dynamic going. Every night Master reads a book before going to sleep. When he goes to the bathroom he inserts a bookmark on the page he's just been reading and leaves the book on his bedside cabinet. However whilst he's in the bathroom I quickly move the bookmark ten pages back. Master thinks he is senile and now gets me to do everything.
dorothy

I often play the game 'Simon says' with my Master but keep getting punished. I keep forgetting that my Master actually is called Simon.
claire

My Mistress for some time has been training me to say words like 'fiddlesticks', 'poppycock' and 'balderdash'. You see we are into the Victorian period lifestyle and I suffer from Tourette's Syndrome and it makes it more realistic.
slave albert

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(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: The Submissive's Handbook - 5/13/2008 2:37:25 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

(The above was all tongue-in-cheek, of course.  Thanks for the comic relief, subtee.)

 
slavegirljoy, thank you for playing along! "Mellow Yellow"---

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to slavegirljoy)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: The Submissive's Handbook - 5/13/2008 2:48:27 PM   
slavegirljoy


Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

Chapter 226 - Letters from True Submissives.

These were fun to read, stella.  Thanks for the chuckle.  This thread is actually turning out to be very enjoyable.
 
joy
Owned servant of Master David

(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: The Submissive's Handbook - 5/13/2008 4:24:51 PM   
exogenous


Posts: 57
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline 		Overall, what was written seems ok.

Yet, I'm still wondering about "You do not have to be a pain ass to be a good sub." When is it ever a good thing to be a pain in the ass? Is that referring to behavior or... physically?

That's just a weird statement in this so-called handbook.

(in reply to slavegirljoy)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: The Submissive's Handbook - 5/13/2008 5:04:06 PM   
StormsSlave


Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline 		Thank god someone wrote this!  I would never have known how to behave in BDSM society without it!  I must now throw everything away I have ever learned about life, myself, and sex, and relearn it based on these rules.

Oh, wait, dammit...I already learned most of this living life.  Fuck!  That's 5 minutes of my life in the toilet!

LOL...it's really just a common sense kind of thing, and all of these rules could apply to basic sex and relationships.  I did wonder about the pain in the ass thing.  I thought it was in the job description to poke the bear until he became annoyed enough to pin me down and spank me, or bite me if I'm really lucky...hee hee.  I'm scratching the "pain in the ass" rule pending future research.

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Congratulate me...I'm a missus!!

--nobody's resident anything.

(in reply to exogenous)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: The Submissive's Handbook - 5/13/2008 5:49:08 PM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee
What if my knees develop calluses, what kind of salve or balm should I use?

You don't. You're a sub. Suffer.

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee
What would be a better thing to say, rather than, “Ow fucker-OW fucker-OW FUCKER!”

the best thing to do is to shut up. You're a sub. Suffer.

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee
Is it wrong, when ordered to clean the bathroom with a toothbrush to use his? If so, does he need to know about it?

It's only wrong if you you get caught. And I damn sure wouldn't use my own toothbrush, which only leaves one other to choose from.

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee
You said not to laugh at other people’s scenes, but…what if it’s really, really funny? Like, what if the Dom’s whip misses, gets wrapped around his own neck choking off his air supply and causing him to trip and fall face first into his submissive’s ass, causing her to fart loudly? Still no laughing?

~answer incoherent, too busy laughing~

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee
What if your Dom says your safeword is “continue doing that no matter what?”

~still laughing too hard to answer coherently, using hand signals for oxygen~

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee
When being peed on, is it okay to lather it into your hair and sing, “I’m gonna wash that man right outta my hair”…?

Only if you can sing and gargle at the same time.

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee
Is it okay to accidently hide clover clamps? (Okay on this one I’m pretty much serious.)

I won't tell.

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee
What should a sub do if her Dom picks out her clothes but has no fashion sense?

Tell everybody her name is tee.
hehehehehehehehehehehehhhhh

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee
When at a family reunion, who should a slave call “Daddy,” her Daddy or…her…Daddy?

Somebody's gonna have to be the mama in this case. Take your pick.

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee
If a sub falls asleep during a scene is it okay to claim it was subspace?

Done it. It works great! (That was one dumb domb.)

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee
If my master won’t “do me,” how can I get him to “do me” without being a “do me” sub?

Shoooooooooooooot, girl. We're all do me subs. Suffer. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee
You said “you do not have to send naked pics to a dominant”…is that a typo? Should that have read, “you have to send naked pics to a dominant?” (If not, could all the Doms please destroy the pics you’ve received from subtee? Thank you.)

That doesn't include subs too ... does it, tee? ~preparing to hastily hide the stash~


    < Message edited by batshalom -- 5/13/2008 5:52:32 PM >

    (in reply to subtee)
    Profile   Post #: 46
    RE: The Submissive's Handbook - 5/13/2008 6:16:39 PM   
    patwi


    Posts: 296
    Joined: 6/24/2007
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: hopelesslyInvo

    it's like the bdsm version of every quote you see in educational pamphlets or on motivational posters.

    i still keep a few of the funny ones around, some have awesome advice like "if a man tries to rape you, urinate to make him stop".



    OK, that needs to be framed.

    (in reply to hopelesslyInvo)
    Profile   Post #: 47
    RE: The Submissive's Handbook - 6/5/2008 5:27:07 PM   
    MrWorf


    Posts: 12
    Joined: 7/14/2004
    Status: offline     		The submissive's handbook was written as a hint guide to newbie subs. It's not a "BDSM bible", nor did the people that contributed to it attempted to make it sound that way. It is merely a list of common sense suggestions to newbie subs for situations that submissives on collarme may be facing right now. Some of you may have been fortunate enough to avoid many of the situations mentioned in the handbook. Bravo. Others, are not as fortunate.

    I'd like to hear some helpful feedback. How would you improve it?

    Who am I? My BDSM scene name is Mr. Worf. I run a munch group in N. California for people of color that enjoy kink and BDSM based in Oakland, California. I have been active in the BDSM scene in N. California for the last 15 years. I am also moderator of several BDSM oriented Yahoo groups for nine years, including Dark Connections which the members of the group created the handbook.



    (in reply to patwi)
    Profile   Post #: 48
    RE: The Submissive's Handbook - 6/5/2008 5:37:53 PM   
    ProtagonistLily


    Posts: 1222
    Joined: 12/27/2004
    Status: offline     		It's about time someone got around to putting this all on a list like this. I've been waiting forever....

    PL


    _____________________________

    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
    ~Dr. Seuss~

    (in reply to MrWorf)
    Profile   Post #: 49
    RE: The Submissive's Handbook - 6/5/2008 6:07:21 PM   
    MrWorf


    Posts: 12
    Joined: 7/14/2004
    Status: offline     		Thank you. I can't tell you how many times that I have been emailed privately by subs about the behavior of bad doms and wannabes over the years. I hope that some of the subs out there find it helpful. 

    (in reply to ProtagonistLily)
    Profile   Post #: 50
    RE: The Submissive's Handbook - 6/5/2008 8:59:47 PM   
    RedMagic1


    Posts: 6470
    Joined: 5/10/2007
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: MrWorf
    I'd like to hear some helpful feedback. How would you improve it?

    Collect true-life stories, not aphorisms.  Some of the most foolish people I know are great at saying witty stuff, just before they behave like total losers.  ("Look before you leap," she cautioned, just before taking a swan dive into the Nine Pits of Hell.)

    Experience comes from real-life interactions, not memorization.  People learn from their own experience, and from listening to the experiences of others.  You could, for example, make a kinky Aesop's Fables, where the last line of each true-life story is the "moral."  All you have written so far are the morals.

    You have written the punctuation marks for a book that would actually be useful.


    _____________________________

    Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
    - 15th century Aztec

    (in reply to MrWorf)
    Profile   Post #: 51
    RE: The Submissive's Handbook - 6/5/2008 9:12:49 PM   
    fluffyswitch


    Posts: 1108
    Joined: 9/29/2007
    From: Buffalo
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: MrWorf

    The submissive's handbook was written as a hint guide to newbie subs. It's not a "BDSM bible", nor did the people that contributed to it attempted to make it sound that way. It is merely a list of common sense suggestions to newbie subs for situations that submissives on collarme may be facing right now. Some of you may have been fortunate enough to avoid many of the situations mentioned in the handbook. Bravo. Others, are not as fortunate.






    having run into some of the pitfalls i would say actually have ancedotes from people who have had pitfalls. cute little sayings are easier to read but my eyes tend to glass over and i start feeling patronized. i would rather have some form of real life example and description on how to interact (when is okay to out yourself in mixed company, when's it time to start picking up on His or Her cues if your dynamic is not d/s all the time, etc), how to find and make connections, and what do if something does go wrong.

    including basic first aid and self-care. you would think people would know it but i've found that they don't. it's stuff a lot of the submissives that i know off of the boards learn through word of mouth but never get told.


    _____________________________


    “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” churchill

    the first rule of fluff club is that you don't talk about fluff club!

    (in reply to MrWorf)
    Profile   Post #: 52
    RE: The Submissive's Handbook - 6/5/2008 10:59:19 PM   
    coffeedark


    Posts: 16
    Joined: 9/2/2006
    Status: offline     		wow you guys are harsh...

    the handbook was created because we get a lot of newbies at our discussion group and we noticed a lot of subs getting themselves in really dangerous situations. the group decided to make a list of helpful hints and post them at our website. we encouraged new subs to ask every question they could think of and then we answered them all. they were laid out in short easy to read points so that a new sub could get through them very quickly and then come back to the group and ask for more info if they needed it.

    it wasn't created for experienced lifestylers (like yourselves) and it's not some sort of bdsm bible that we force people to read before joining. it's just there in our mentor section for those who are interested.

    i'm not sure how the word "pain slut" got changed to "pain ass" lol... it's not like that on the website and obviously it has been cut and pasted a few times and things got re-translated...




    (in reply to fluffyswitch)
    Profile   Post #: 53
    RE: The Submissive's Handbook - 6/6/2008 3:30:51 AM   
    KatyLied


    Posts: 13029
    Joined: 2/24/2005
    From: Pennsylvania
    Status: offline     		Do these same subs get into dangerous situations in their vanilla life?  If not, why do they lose their good sense when they enter the lifestyle?  Perhaps they didn't have any to begin with.

    _____________________________

    “If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
    - Albert Einstein

    (in reply to coffeedark)
    Profile   Post #: 54
    RE: The Submissive's Handbook - 6/6/2008 5:41:32 AM   
    coffeedark


    Posts: 16
    Joined: 9/2/2006
    Status: offline     		A lot of new subs have so much enthusiasm for the lifestyle, and are so eager to serve,  that they jump right into the deep end of the pool... and yes, a few people are obviously not using their common sense. we created the handbook to help in that regard. We felt it was a simple thing we could do as a group that might possibly save a few folks from getting hurt.

    plus some of the topics, like munch/dungeon protocol, were questions that were being asked over and over again by new members. so it's also like a faq for noobs. we have a small community and we tend to put more energy into helping our new members than the mainstream community does.

    (in reply to KatyLied)
    Profile   Post #: 55
    RE: The Submissive's Handbook - 6/6/2008 6:54:44 AM   
    fluffyswitch


    Posts: 1108
    Joined: 9/29/2007
    From: Buffalo
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: KatyLied

    Do these same subs get into dangerous situations in their vanilla life?  If not, why do they lose their good sense when they enter the lifestyle?  Perhaps they didn't have any to begin with.


    actually speaking as a sub who did run into problems intially it does happen and it would have been nice to have somewhere to go other than say a board where everyone tends to play the higher hand when a newbie asks questions (cringes that wasn't intended as a flame but i know it's probably going to be interpreted as one). not everyone benefits from face to face teaching due to a decided lack of kink in their area. it's easy to say oh well obviously there's something wrong with the individual. nothing says you have to buy the book or even endorse it. i'm just not sure why there's so much agression through out the thread from so many people for a product that they are in no way forced to use.


    _____________________________


    “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” churchill

    the first rule of fluff club is that you don't talk about fluff club!

    (in reply to KatyLied)
    Profile   Post #: 56
    RE: The Submissive's Handbook - 6/6/2008 7:22:29 AM   
    Dnomyar


    Posts: 7933
    Joined: 6/27/2005
    Status: offline     		coffedark I think what you did is a good ideal. Don't be affraid to make revisions. flufflyswitch lighten up. Learn to take the good with the bad. If you don't like what is being said here ignore it. That simple.

    (in reply to fluffyswitch)
    Profile   Post #: 57
    RE: The Submissive's Handbook - 6/6/2008 7:25:40 AM   
    fluffyswitch


    Posts: 1108
    Joined: 9/29/2007
    From: Buffalo
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

    coffedark I think what you did is a good ideal. Don't be affraid to make revisions. flufflyswitch lighten up. Learn to take the good with the bad. If you don't like what is being said here ignore it. That simple.


    shrug. whatever.


    _____________________________


    “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” churchill

    the first rule of fluff club is that you don't talk about fluff club!

    (in reply to Dnomyar)
    Profile   Post #: 58
    RE: The Submissive's Handbook - 6/6/2008 8:12:06 AM   
    coffeedark


    Posts: 16
    Joined: 9/2/2006
    Status: offline     		well the idea was, if it helps one person then it's worth the effort. know that might sound corny but that was the way we were thinking. and i know some of the points sounded silly to some... like you don't have to send naked pics to Dom/mes you just met. but that was actually one of the questions one of the newbies asked. she honestly wasn't sure whether she had a choice. so there ya go ; )

    ps. the handbook isn't really a book and it's not for sale. we are a non profit group and it's just up there on the website for anybody who wants the info.

    (in reply to Dnomyar)
    Profile   Post #: 59
    RE: The Submissive's Handbook - 6/6/2008 8:19:54 AM   
    simplyfyre


    Posts: 54
    Status: offline     		Fr~

    Thanks. I needed this 4 years ago and I still NEED certain reminders

    Be well
    Fyre

    _____________________________

    I know of no language in which the truth may be spoken. The truth can be seen, and felt, and known, but I do not think it may be spoken. Each of us learns it, but none of us, I think, can tell another what it is. 8 145



    (in reply to MrWorf)
    Profile   Post #: 60
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