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What is the Difference? - 5/13/2008 6:02:13 AM

Steponme73

Posts: 552
Joined: 11/9/2007
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I have noticed that people put things in strange places when talking about likes, dislikes, etc. For example a Dom might say in her profile that she expects a sub/slave to grovel at her feet and kiss them constantly. But then in the lives for, loves, likes area she may put that she likes foot worship. So I guess how do you determine what the differences between "Lives for", "Loves", "Likes", etc.
I have noticed this alot and I am just curious as to everyone else sees it. To me "Lives for" means you would rather do that, than eat when you're hungry! Any thoughts. This does not just apply to foot worship but to everything.

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RE: What is the Difference? - 5/13/2008 6:06:56 AM

MistressFaye1

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Joined: 10/7/2007
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Likes: Tolerable with some enjoyment
Loves: Enjoys it a lot and expects it
Lives for: Could be the deal breaker if not part of the mix.

This is how it is for me.

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RE: What is the Difference? - 5/13/2008 7:03:00 AM

chamberqueen

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Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
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Sometimes it depends on the mood. There are times when I love things, other times I might enjoy them a little, and occassions when they would turn me off completely. : )

Seriously, if you get too fussy about how people fill out their profiles you will only frustrate yourself. Everyone here is human, and humans are inconsistent. What makes me more nuts about profiles is when a strong Dom type can't even spell things like "fantasies" correctly, as in "here for real time play only, no fantacies". When I politely offered to help him with the spelling he let me know that help was not appreciated. Fine - let him look barely literate. That's not the type of Dom I would want.

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RE: What is the Difference? - 5/13/2008 7:09:13 AM

Steponme73

Posts: 552
Joined: 11/9/2007
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LOL...Chamberqueen you are soooo right. I am not the greatest at grammar, but I try to make my sentences make sense and to spell the words correctly. Everyone makes mistakes, but in some of the profiles there are just about as many misspelled words as not...I don't think that sends a positive image...at lease it does not for me.

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RE: What is the Difference? - 5/13/2008 7:11:53 AM

MladyHathor

Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
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I agree with chamberqueen--I don't put a list of likes, dont likes and have to haves--I find it distracting--sometimes I might like something and sometimes I might not--I also find when one has their BDSM interests listed---that's the focus of the conversation---not for Me--Id rather discover what might be mutual versus not---it always amazes Me though when people put they are experts at so many things---<snort>---yeah ok or live for things like enemas---won't live long at that rate.

IMHO

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RE: What is the Difference? - 5/13/2008 7:24:12 AM

Dnomyar

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Joined: 6/27/2005
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I don't pay attention to list. Most of the check off's are BS anyway. Get to know the person first and then find out what really are their likes and dislikes.

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RE: What is the Difference? - 5/13/2008 7:42:16 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
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When I filled out my list, I made sure what I was interested in was in one of the first 3, and my hard limits were checked off. Beyond that the topics have little relavence to interest level without a partner with me. I might live for massages, but since Angel gives lousy ones since he doesnt have much hand strength, I dont bother with them when he and I are together. I like diapering, but not when I am with Fox. The interest in any one activity on that list varies with who im with at the time when it comes to the BDSM lists. Things like coffee shops and renn faires... those are personal but I doubt those are the oens that confuse you.

and an aside: having a slave groveling and kissing your feet isnt necessarily foot worship, it can also be humiliation or begging. SO, the domme in question might not be much into the other aspects of foot worship, but might live begging or something.

DV

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RE: What is the Difference? - 5/13/2008 7:55:28 AM

chezzy71

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I have changed my profile.All the "activities"have been removed.I am in agreement that it should be discovered as time goes on.Now there is one thing i will discuss at anytime and some of you know that.But i no longer list it.For example if i had bondage listed as a live for,well how redundant is that???Most Dominas will restrain anyways..no need to beat a live horse into the ground.I believe that when one approaches..respect and honesty first and go about things as if you are courting a vanilla lady with absolutely no interest in the lifestyle.I don't believe the approach is shady or dishonest as much as it is a search for common ground in everyday life.

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RE: What is the Difference? - 5/13/2008 9:11:47 AM

faerytattoodgirl

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what is the difference???

well...you can save 20% with ABC.

hmm...is that brand still around??

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RE: What is the Difference? - 5/13/2008 11:29:58 AM

LadyHibiscus

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I like those lists, personally. Of course, I have my non-BDSM interests on there too, and that is what I look for in other people's profiles. It's good to know if someone's hard limit is my favorite thing, or if they secretly listen to 70's music!

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RE: What is the Difference? - 5/13/2008 2:31:22 PM

MamaDomme1

Posts: 377
Joined: 1/12/2008
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I don't think I have ANY of my BDSM interests listed on that check off list on my profile. I feel that just because I really, really like something with one particular partner doesn't mean that I want to do it each and every single time we get together or with each and every single partner I am with.

The important thing is to remember that we are all different and it's very diffucult to cram everyone into that cookie-cutter, boxed image.

Good luck~~~

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