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Annoyed - 10/19/2005 2:33:32 PM   
youngmomfun


Posts: 2
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline 		I find it annoying that people expect a serious commitment less than a day after meeting, why do people assume that Im going to serve them and them only when Ive only just met them. Plus I have a daughter and she comes first regardless of my lifestlye choosing, its just annyoing that people expect so much so fast. Anyone else have that impression?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Annoyed - 10/19/2005 2:49:38 PM   
Kasia


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: youngmomfun

I find it annoying that people expect a serious commitment less than a day after meeting, why do people assume that Im going to serve them and them only when Ive only just met them. Plus I have a daughter and she comes first regardless of my lifestlye choosing, its just annyoing that people expect so much so fast. Anyone else have that impression?

No.
I have impression that serious adults dont expect or assume anything a day after meeting. For others I cannot say - I dont waste my time on that kind.

_____________________________

I DO have profile - just lost an S somewhere along the way

Kassia

(in reply to youngmomfun)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Annoyed - 10/19/2005 2:56:40 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Some people are not grounded in reality.

(in reply to Kasia)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Annoyed - 10/19/2005 3:02:06 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		If that's the worst you come across...you're very fortunate. Most of us deal with far more ridiculous behavior from "potential suitors."

(in reply to youngmomfun)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Annoyed - 10/19/2005 3:03:57 PM   
fyreredsub


Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline 		i think it is based on if they (the Doms) feel one is new to the lifestyle and that we don't know any better or that we will jump at the first chance available to serve.

i have almost made that mistake of jumping the gun twice now...........fate has a way of naturally intervening,thank gawd!!

i also have children and that put me out of the running(so to speak) w/ a someone that was seriously considering getting involved w/ me.
(had a situation last night as a matter of fact) where he told me to go ahead and spend some time w /the kids and call him in the morning.
so i had a nice evening w/ them and went to bed,
i find this morning i had missed a call from him last night..........and several offlines on my messenger.........
and,also

upon awaking this morning what a surprise read i had!!! obviously this girl isnt as attached as he thought(shakes head in amazement at that one)
i do have a very full life as is....granted i enjoyed speaking w/ him the last few days but c'mon that isnt enough for me to base a lifetime commitment on.

just b/c one wishes to incorporate the D/s dynamic again doesn't mean they will blindly give all up to serve.

i am learning more and more just how important it is to take my time and speak to plenty of people that have been around for a while.

just very grateful i am learning about the incompatabilities before hand...beats the hell outta hindsight


quote:

ORIGINAL: youngmomfun

I find it annoying that people expect a serious commitment less than a day after meeting, why do people assume that Im going to serve them and them only when Ive only just met them. Plus I have a daughter and she comes first regardless of my lifestlye choosing, its just annyoing that people expect so much so fast. Anyone else have that impression?



< Message edited by fyreredsub -- 10/19/2005 3:22:29 PM >

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to youngmomfun)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Annoyed - 10/19/2005 3:05:04 PM   
gypsyeyez


Posts: 28
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline 		Well in my own humble opinion maturity truly dictates this type of thing a mature individual may build hopes... However an immature person will go through three stages that are normal in a greatly larger time frame ... VERY Fast. Hope, Expectation, and Assurance are the steps in my eyes. Hope can build from day one. Expectations come later when the relationship has formed to such a level to merit such and Assurance comes after years and years of lasting relationships. Some people though maybe not out of immaturity... but out of a desire to have what they seek so desperatly. Either way fruitful lasting relationships take time and if someone pushes the issue you are not wanting too fast it might be smart to back up and really examine this person then tell them to slow down or usually to back off all together.

(in reply to youngmomfun)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Annoyed - 10/19/2005 3:18:37 PM   
TearCollector


Posts: 108
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline 		I think when you post an add on the internet, you will find that a lot of lonely desperate people are going to respond. Its up to you to sort through the rubbish and find what your after.

I think women in general get a lot of replies. Ill bet if all the girls combined their replies on a spread sheet, you would find that its the same guys contacting the newest people with the same lines. Maybe Collarme should post a graph attached to our profiles that would tell you how many different people a person contacted. Or have a rating system that subject a message to a 0-10 rating by the receiver that gets attached to our profile.

There are a lot of creeps out there. But its easy to identify them with through habits. Maybe the mods should consider a creep monitoring software and keep track of these people.

Although, I would hate to get caught in my own trap. LOL

Ladies, just use your head. Common sense is a powerful defense tool.


Creep Monitoring
Sponcored By
TearCollector

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Annoyed - 10/19/2005 3:21:09 PM   
gypsyeyez


Posts: 28
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline 		Great Advice Tear Collector ....just had to throw that in

~*~gypsy~*~

< Message edited by gypsyeyez -- 10/19/2005 3:23:16 PM >

(in reply to TearCollector)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Annoyed - 10/19/2005 3:22:33 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: youngmomfun

I find it annoying that people expect a serious commitment less than a day after meeting, why do people assume that Im going to serve them and them only when Ive only just met them. Plus I have a daughter and she comes first regardless of my lifestlye choosing, its just annyoing that people expect so much so fast. Anyone else have that impression?


As Microsoft is fond of saying "That's not a bug; it's a feature." Take that kind of behavior as a quick litmus test as to whether you want to get serious with them.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to youngmomfun)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Annoyed - 10/19/2005 3:40:23 PM   
Phoenxx


Posts: 253
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Swift Current
Status: offline 		Some people seem to see online ads as a way to find a quick one night stand, as a way to get laid or that someone is desperate for any type of attention.
I’ve had girls get angry because I actually want to talk to them rather then jumping into a cyber scene. Hell, I’ve had it happen while DM’ing even at fetish events. People that think because you’re a DM you have to spank/flog/whip anyone who wants you top.
And that doing it means you own them or are making a commitment to them. And then others can climb into bed with you and just make a notch in their garter belt. Well at least I have heard of that… still waiting for it to happen damn it LOL
If your looking for a real relationship, let the people know. And those that do not understand, block them.
Of course.. sometimes it’s just right and moves with a speed of it’s own… it did for us.
Tony

(in reply to youngmomfun)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Annoyed - 10/19/2005 3:42:52 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Anyone else have that impression?


I've only found that in the online community. More often than not also from those who do not attend any in person events as well.

Try a munch, you'll find a more grounded crowd.

(in reply to youngmomfun)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Annoyed - 10/19/2005 3:47:54 PM   
ExistentialSteel


Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline 		As TearCollector said, it is an ad on the internet. As with any ad you may get many responses from all kinds. Use this site as a giant sifter to find what you want or who you want.

_____________________________

For those who are like Roman Candles leaving bright trails in the night sky while the crowd watches until the dark blue center light bursts into magnificent colors and the crowd goes, ahhhhhhhhhh.

(in reply to TearCollector)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Annoyed - 10/19/2005 7:10:35 PM   
OscarHargraves


Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline 		This sounds like the behavior of a desperate person who is really insecure in his(?) BDSM self. He wants the lady to commit to him so that nobody else will get her and she will stop looking. He's afraid that if she looks beyond him she'll find someone she likes more. Problem is that this behavior will tend to make her do just that.

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

(in reply to youngmomfun)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Annoyed - 10/19/2005 8:04:13 PM   
sultryvoice


Posts: 368
Joined: 3/31/2004
Status: offline 		There are so many who have no concept of manners. They think if they are "Dom" ( I use that very lightly in their case), that they have every right to have whomever they wish. That the submissive will want to serve them no matter what. The "Doms" think that is they way to be a Dominant. Most of the time they haven't had any real experience and have nothing to go by. If they would just act the way a man would towards a woman, that would work. Never assume anything..

Respectfully,
sultry

_____________________________

Blessed are the cracked,
For it is they who let in the light.


www.themarkbycpi.com

(in reply to OscarHargraves)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Annoyed - 10/19/2005 8:08:47 PM   
Faramir


Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline 		Boy, you don't sound like much fun...

(in reply to sultryvoice)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Annoyed - 10/19/2005 8:10:21 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OscarHargraves

This sounds like the behavior of a desperate person who is really insecure in his(?) BDSM self. He wants the lady to commit to him so that nobody else will get her and she will stop looking. He's afraid that if she looks beyond him she'll find someone she likes more. Problem is that this behavior will tend to make her do just that.


Damned well put Oscar! Look at the behaviour which the OP has described as being the first in line filter to remove all the pillocks from the list of those who you are looking at. If I knew you had a child or other family committments, and you didn't put them first, I'd want to beat your arse black and blue and maybe even send you on your way with a flea in your ear. Family always comes first no matter what.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to OscarHargraves)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Annoyed - 10/19/2005 9:40:38 PM   
ppaddleman


Posts: 26
Joined: 10/11/2005
Status: offline 		I've actually never seen any doms who do expet committment from the first meeting.
I've known quite a few who lay things on the line ie If (note the if) you committ to me it will be this way. But thats just straight honest. Certainly not expecting commitment from the first meetin

(in reply to youngmomfun)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Annoyed - 10/20/2005 3:49:09 AM   
MasterRobert1


Posts: 225
Joined: 7/18/2005
Status: offline 		Lots of elements go into a BDSM D/s relationship. One of the least mentioned is TIME. Takes time to know someone. And BDSM D/s relationships and interactions require knowledge, deep knowledge, of someone. And that takes time. Somethings can't be hurried. And online doesn't change that.

(in reply to youngmomfun)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Annoyed - 10/20/2005 8:05:01 AM   
hawk58


Posts: 51
Joined: 9/23/2005
Status: offline 		We can well understand your annoyance. Event hough we too are seeking another, we try to have REASONABLE expectations. One fo those being 1. family comes forst- our family, as well as the potential girl's family. 2. TIME- Taking the time to get to know one another so as not to jump into a relationship too quickly, and find out the hard way, it was a wronge move.

Generally when dropping a line to someone we find intersting, we will keep it short and simple with lil expectation. Simply something like "We enjoy your profile. Please take a moment to check out ours. If you think there may be any aspects of intrest, please reply, and we can continue. If not, sorry to have bothered you and good luck on your journey." Its short, sweet, tot he point, placing no expectations on anyone. We dont want to rush a relationship, and dont want a girl to jump into somehtingt oo fast, befor she is ready to either.

I agree- it must be the insecure or cyber ones who expect a girl or guy to drop all, and move in and serve. Again, it takes time to get to know one another, and it takes time to get your affairs in order, befor you ever make the decission to finally move in...but it all takes time.

Relationships are not served like McDonalds...I know some want it Hot, fast and now, and their way.... but Ds is more like fine dining. It takes time, planning, preparation, and manners! And you do have the right to refuse service to anyone.



_____________________________

-Sir Hawk

Master of dove's Haven

"True Power/Control is knowing that You have the ability to use it, but choose not to."

Hearts in Service:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HeartsInService/

(in reply to MasterRobert1)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Annoyed - 10/20/2005 2:41:57 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		And, most likely, that as soon as he gets what he wants for one evening, he'll drop you just as quickly.

windchymes

(in reply to hawk58)
Profile   Post #: 20
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