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After care - 5/13/2008 7:47:04 PM   
Giggles5


Posts: 2
Joined: 5/13/2008
Status: offline 		I am fairly new to the lifestyle.  My Daddy and I had a great session the other night and we both came down hard the next day.  Unfortunately circumstances kept us from being together.  We have decided from now on we won't play unless we are able to spend the next day together.  I was just wondering how some of you handle after care when you aren't able to be with your partner.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: After care - 5/13/2008 8:00:09 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Giggles5
I am fairly new to the lifestyle.  My Daddy and I had a great session the other night and we both came down hard the next day.  Unfortunately circumstances kept us from being together.  We have decided from now on we won't play unless we are able to spend the next day together.  I was just wondering how some of you handle after care when you aren't able to be with your partner.

Well that certainly is one option.  Other options are to make yourself your aftercare giver, or assign a third person to be an aftercare giver that you WILL spend the next day with.  Another option is just grin and bear it and get through it. 


http://www.collarchat.com/m_883031/mpage_1/key_top%252Cdrop/tm.htm#883388
TopDrop/subdrop and Aftercare

http://www.collarchat.com/m_772983/mpage_1/key_aftercare/tm.htm#773055
how much is "too much" aftercare?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_725006/mpage_1/key_aftercare/tm.htm#725011
aftercare, the top side?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_598726/mpage_1/key_aftercare/tm.htm#599129
aftercare in ltr and casual play

http://www.collarchat.com/m_495421/mpage_1/key_aftercare/tm.htm#496775
aftercare- when to offer it and how much?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_491455/mpage_1/key_aftercare/tm.htm#492065
aftercare


http://www.collarchat.com/m_743958/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#744221
sub drop please help

http://www.collarchat.com/m_649399/mpage_1/key_subdrop/tm.htm#649697
Coming down from the glorious heights

http://www.collarchat.com/m_522013/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#522021
sub drop, definitions, causes, cures, and prevention

http://www.collarchat.com/m_512884/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#513003
Your insight is needed please

http://www.collarchat.com/m_487853/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#488083
sub drop (2)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_460639/mpage_1/key_subdrop/tm.htm#460834
regaining balance after deep subspace

http://www.collarchat.com/m_202168/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#202459
sub-drop what is it?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_345419/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#345462
highs and lows

http://www.collarchat.com/m_398653/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#399164
subdrop or what?

Is it drop or am I kidding myself?

Depression after a scene

Sub Drop

Nervous sub seeks reassurance

sleeping...



_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Giggles5)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: After care - 5/13/2008 8:08:51 PM   
Giggles5


Posts: 2
Joined: 5/13/2008
Status: offline 		Wow, thanks for all the links.  I will check those out.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: After care - 5/13/2008 8:47:56 PM   
summersprite


Posts: 101
Joined: 4/3/2008
Status: offline 		I don't  need to see my Sir the day after a session, but I certainly appreciate the online aftercare he gives me ;-) But even if he's not available to chat the next day, just having an awareness of what 'sub drop' is, means I can deal with it on my own anyway.

(in reply to Giggles5)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: After care - 5/13/2008 10:01:07 PM   
justaDallasgirl


Posts: 38
Joined: 5/7/2008
From: the Rock
Status: offline 		i haven't had sub drop probably because my Master is very good after He had decided W/we've had enough play to pull me up by my hair to His chest to hold me close to Him submissively or sometimes as a treat a massage...W/we talk about O/our day, what W/we are thinking, issues W/we that might complicate O/our relationship, and concerns about the play...then Sir usually gives me a bottle of water and sends me on my way.  However not tonight...didn't get a bottle of water which is kind of a bummer since i don't have water at this place i am moving out of so drinking from the tap...which is so gross. 

_____________________________

i'm just a girl enjoying her place at Master's waist ;-)

(in reply to summersprite)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: After care - 5/13/2008 10:08:19 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		For me it is not the day after that is or has been the problem in regards to aftercare . It is post exchange right after that i seem to just need that helpin hand so to speak . A guide back to reality and relearn to breath a tad , and to also bask in the glow .
A check up call is however a great thing just to be sure if your not with the other party .

(in reply to justaDallasgirl)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: After care - 5/13/2008 11:10:42 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Like LA mentioned, I provide my own aftercare or I spend time with someone close to me who provides it.

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to Giggles5)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: After care - 5/14/2008 5:15:21 AM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		It depends on the play we have done. The more intense it was then the more aftercare I may need. Sometimes I am fine in a few minutes and need little aftercare and sometimes I need more.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to Giggles5)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: After care - 5/14/2008 7:49:36 AM   
tandm


Posts: 16
Joined: 4/14/2008
Status: offline 		I used to need a lot of holding and talking after and would hate it when my Master would go home or if I would go home.  My Master would call me on the way home and call again before I went  to sleep and again first thing in the morning.  I am very lucky now, we got married and so we live together and after we have a session or play, I get to be close to him all night and he always calls during the day.  Maybe ask him to call or get something that reminds you of him and have it with you until you are good.

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: After care - 5/14/2008 8:38:39 AM   
Siesumi


Posts: 33
Joined: 4/24/2008
Status: offline 		Whenever Master and I play, whether it's a hard session or not, He will wrap me in my favored blanket (one He gave me) and will sit with me for at least 20 minutes, talking to me and rubbing my back and so on and then have my sister (His wife and my fg) go fill the tub with some hot water and I will sit in the tub for 30 minutes...usually I find after a session, I'm exhausted so I will get into my pj's and curl up in bed and kind of drift in and out of sleep for an hour or so before my body kind of jolts awake again...lol...can't say that when Master and I are away, we play, because He doesn't see the point and I would rather wait until I see Him again before we play ~smiles~

(in reply to tandm)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: After care - 5/15/2008 10:41:53 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I alwas get my aftercare  Master will hold me tight talk with me stroke my hair.  he always knows what i need.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to Siesumi)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: After care - 5/15/2008 1:33:10 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		I feel like aftercare is very important. I also feel like Daddy needs it too... So I tell Him how much I love Him after...and thank Him for loving me enough to hurt me.....You see sometimes He has a hard time with how badly I do hurt during and after....So when I tell Him thank You, it affirms our connection and strengthens our relationship....

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: After care - 5/15/2008 1:33:30 PM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		The day after has never matter much to me, it's the hour or two (sometimes as little as thirty minutes) after play that means the most. Once play finishes I need the enforcement and reminder of the relationship beyond the play, to keep me stable, otherwise I go a bit loopy until I find a sort of grounding point.
If it's only mild play and not particularly intense, but light hearted, then I find I don't really need any sort of aftercare or attention.

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: After care - 5/15/2008 1:36:27 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		For me it depends how deeply I go into subspace. But then Daddy does watch for my reactions and give me the proper cuddling ,blankets and such when I am shaking.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to ProlificNeeds)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: After care - 5/15/2008 2:28:00 PM   
xbutterflyx


Posts: 51
Joined: 7/18/2006
Status: offline 		Cuddle time....
Communication the next day..

Alone time to process things, drinking lots of water, a lil piece of chocolate, and sometimes a phone call from my great friend.

xx

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: After care - 5/16/2008 10:23:08 PM   
fluffyswitch


Posts: 1108
Joined: 9/29/2007
From: Buffalo
Status: offline 		i personally need some form of communication within a couple of days or i drop, but it doesn't have to be right away. i can tell when i'm dropping and i generally just seek out human contact, but it took me awhile to get to the point where i could recognize what is happening.

_____________________________


“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” churchill

the first rule of fluff club is that you don't talk about fluff club!

(in reply to xbutterflyx)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: After care - 5/16/2008 10:41:26 PM   
Renee7852


Posts: 88
Joined: 11/12/2007
Status: offline 		<-------aftercare addict.......especially right afterwards.  *sigh*

(in reply to fluffyswitch)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: After care - 5/17/2008 1:47:31 AM   
BootBlackBlast


Posts: 378
Joined: 10/23/2006
Status: offline 		I must say the worst for me this year was the Sunday IMsL ended. I was going through TopDrop, BoiDrop, and partner drop all at the same time. I had spent 4 days running around in boi space in service to my Bikkja (my top), the same 4 days with my 3 boys in service to me, and dealing with my partner and some jealousy issues.

Bikkja and I had exchanged some amazing energy and done two brief albeit ridiculously intense piercing scenes, my boys and I had all played with one another to some degree in addition to them being in constant service to both me and by default the event producers and volunteer coordinator, and my partner was really trying to figure out her place in all of this.

My boys leaving early Sunday, dropping my Bikkja off at the airport, my partner off to her house, and coming home to three bootblacks staying at my house was definitely a trying time. I spent the whole next three days in a drop. I talked with my boys each day after as I usually do as a check in, and with my Bikkja because she's a responsible top and knew that I would be needing her. My partner and I spent the same four days trying to stay together and dealing with jealousy issues. I think what finally pulled me out of that drop was that I was being laid off at the end of the week and I returned back to work and found out that Wednesday. And I must say I very much wanted to be out of that drop but once I was, I didn't think I was really ready to be out of it. I kinda wanted to crawl back in.

_____________________________

Leather Rubbin and Dubbin

Bootblack Blast
Mama's Blast

(in reply to Renee7852)
Profile   Post #: 18
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