|
thetammyjo -> RE: Finding a 24/7 lifestyle Domme (5/15/2008 5:09:10 AM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: pvcbecky
VelvetMaam, i understand the point You are making. Certianly, i would not want to be controlled 24/7. i would want a long term relationship rather than a casual thing - i think that what i was trying to get at.
As for meeting people in the local BDSM comminuty - unfortunately most, if not all, the Dommes are taken. i am getting more and more frustrated.
becky x
You may have to expand your search then to nearby communities.
Also take a good look at yourself. Try to be objective. Do you do the same things over and over when approaching potential doms? If so, why? Try something new, try to improve on you in a variety of ways, it can't hurt and it might help.
Also take a look at your expectations. Is a long term relationship really a realistic goal to have immediately?
How much experience do you have? If you have little or no experience, why would someone commit to you long-term?
Furthermore, would you marry the first woman you went on a first date with that night? If not, why would someone expect something long-term in Ds? If yes, I think, to be blunt, you may not have the healthiest expectations for relationships period.
I've been doing this all for almost 18 years now. My longest Ds dynamic is with my current slave and it will mark year 9 come October. Before then I had many trial scenes, months of training, play buddies, and shorter ownership contracts. All of those experiences helped me be able and ready to own someone longtime and full-time. Now we didn't start with an eye to be this way. We frankly were just looking for a few months of training, a way for him to get some more experience and for me to encourage what I believed would be a strong person in the local and regional communities. We did training for 8 months and then decided together we wanted to try ownership for a year, then two years, then three, and then a lifetime commitment.
But see how that works? You get experience, you get to know yourself, you get to know others, you stay grounded in reality, and after years you may find someone willing to put as work as you into 24/7.
Yes, you will hear from the folks who met and knew, who collared on the first date, blah blah blah. They are very rare and you are very unlikely to be one of the rare ones.
Think I'm being a bitch here, folks? Duh! But I'm trying also to be honest and realistic. I think so much of our unwanted emotional pain comes from unrealistic assessments and expectations. If I can help one person avoid much of that pain, then I'll be a bitch.
|
|
|
|
