How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life?

How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? (Full Version)

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calasd -> How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? (5/15/2008 1:38:47 PM)
I'm somewhat new in the BDSM world and am considering going to one of my local BDSM community munches. Since I am looking for a Domme to serve, how do I go about approaching her in real life? Would it be the same as a vanilla approach by starting a conversation and rapport or are their different rules involved with a Domme? I mean should I ask permission to speak to her first or what?

TwoNYCDommes -> RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? (5/15/2008 1:45:56 PM)
I'm sure it varies, but we prefer being approached the same way a polite young man would a approach a vanilla woman: respectfully, but with no particular protocol. The one pitfall to avoid, that we see far too often (more at clubs than at munches), is submissive men forgetting the simple manners that they use in other social situations and brashly jumping into something like "May I worship you, Mistress?"

thetammyjo -> RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? (5/15/2008 2:06:30 PM)
Get to know everyone at the munches for multiple munches before you approach anyone. That way you will learn before you approach about any one's particular ideas of how they want to be approached and even more importantly IF they want to be approached. In general, in my strong opinion, it is never flattering to be approached simply because I'm a woman who is a dominant and until you've talked with me at multiple munches that is the only way you could honestly be approaching me.

darchChylde -> RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? (5/15/2008 2:34:23 PM)
Just like i'd approach pretty much anyone, friendly and respectful. Let her know i'm interested, and then lay off. Be a friend, let them make any further moves. Basically, i don't chase anyone; i'm not the great hunter.

Pyrrsefanie -> RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? (5/15/2008 3:42:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: calasd Since I am looking for a Domme to serve, how do I go about approaching her in real life? Approaching a Domme can be dangerous. You need to watch out for her canines which are sharp enough to snap through bone. If she feels threatened she will not hesitate to take off an arm or a leg; assuming you survive the initial attack it is a well-known fact that a Domme's saliva is swarming with nasty bacteria that will likely cause a massive infection to set in and ultimately kill you slowly and painfully. I recommend dousing yourself in elk urine to disguise your scent. Take cover in some brush and prepare the chloroform-soaked rag, then proceed as follows: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7y5yE6aqhw

CarrieO -> RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? (5/15/2008 3:51:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: darchChylde Just like i'd approach pretty much anyone, friendly and respectful. Let her know i'm interested, and then lay off. Be a friend, let them make any further moves. Basically, i don't chase anyone; i'm not the great hunter. That's great advice when approaching a Domme or a Dom.....actually, just plain old good advice in general! Friendly and respectful is how everyone should be approached.

azropedntied -> RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? (5/15/2008 5:13:56 PM)
after seeing the Domme of your choice , walk up , say hello and explain you saw her engaging in a bdsm exchange and thought she hits like a girls and can she now play with you .If that does not work try the pounce approach or the Pyrrsefaine method s .

RedMagic1 -> RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? (5/15/2008 5:28:03 PM)
I just posted this on the "Advice" thread, but it seems relevant here too. http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=1861412

Dnomyar -> RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? (5/16/2008 6:17:21 AM)
Do what I do with great success. Walk up to one and grab her ass and say on your knees.

Lashra -> RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? (5/16/2008 6:37:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar Do what I do with great success. Walk up to one and grab her ass and say on your knees. Great success? as in being kneed in the balls? Oh you dirty boy you! You will have all the malesubs who love CBT doing this. ~Lashra

MaamJay -> RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? (5/16/2008 8:14:48 AM)
I agree with Tammyjo. Go to several munches, meet lots of people ... male Doms, female Dommes, male and female subs and slaves. Don't make a beeline for any female who seems Dominant ... it's very presumptuous to do so! Remember that couples also attend munches, so every female Domme there may not necessarily be unattached! So, go, meet lots of people, chit chat, find out what you can about different folks there, observe how they interact. Some groups are much higher protocol (formal bdsm manners) than others ... which is why it's best to wait and see. After a few times, when you know who the unattached Dommes are, and had a chance to be introduced or to have at least said hello before, then you might contrive to sit next to one for a more indepth getting to know you chat. And read Her vibes! By then you should be at ease enough to talk coherently and make a good impression instead of babbling nervously. Maam Jay aka violet[A]

ThundersCry -> RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? (5/16/2008 7:45:59 PM)
With...confidence.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? (5/16/2008 7:49:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar Do what I do with great success. Walk up to one and grab her ass and say on your knees. You smoooooooth talker, you!

submale4u2spank -> RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? (5/16/2008 8:12:51 PM)
The secret to approaching a domme in real life is that you have to be polite, quiet, and come from behind and grab her and throw her into your white van, cuffed and stuffed.

BondageBarbieX -> RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? (5/16/2008 8:23:44 PM)
i never make first contact with a Dominant of either sex,i just don't think its a subs place to speak first but thats just my lil opinion.

RedMagic1 -> RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? (5/16/2008 8:31:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BondageBarbieX i never make first contact with a Dominant of either sex,i just don't think its a subs place to speak first but thats just my lil opinion. You're female. A submissive male who takes that advice will not get as much mail in a year as you get in a week.

DelilahDeb -> RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? (5/17/2008 12:43:22 AM)
Especially not with a nickname like BondageBarbieX! Hey, do you have an outfit like Anita Blake's to go with that nick? "There are two things you can do when you're dressed like Barbie Does Bondage; you can be embarrassed or you can be aggressive. Guess what my choice was." --The Killing Dance, by Laurell K. Hamilton Lady Delilah Deb

MissMagnolia -> RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? (5/17/2008 12:49:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TwoNYCDommes I'm sure it varies, but we prefer being approached the same way a polite young man would a approach a vanilla woman: respectfully, but with no particular protocol. The one pitfall to avoid, that we see far too often (more at clubs than at munches), is submissive men forgetting the simple manners that they use in other social situations and brashly jumping into something like "May I worship you, Mistress?" I like this answer. Pushy and stupid subs send an email that says "Mistress, will you fuck me in the ass with your strap on"? What happened to "Hello. How are you. My name is ---------". Online or real life, do not forget that a Domme is a woman, not a hooker.

MamaDomme1 -> RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? (5/17/2008 7:06:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia quote: ORIGINAL: TwoNYCDommes I'm sure it varies, but we prefer being approached the same way a polite young man would a approach a vanilla woman: respectfully, but with no particular protocol. The one pitfall to avoid, that we see far too often (more at clubs than at munches), is submissive men forgetting the simple manners that they use in other social situations and brashly jumping into something like "May I worship you, Mistress?" I like this answer. Pushy and stupid subs send an email that says "Mistress, will you fuck me in the ass with your strap on"? What happened to "Hello. How are you. My name is ---------". Online or real life, do not forget that a Domme is a woman, not a hooker. Exactly!

HardToTame -> RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? (5/18/2008 1:43:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MamaDomme1 quote: ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia quote: ORIGINAL: TwoNYCDommes I'm sure it varies, but we prefer being approached the same way a polite young man would a approach a vanilla woman: respectfully, but with no particular protocol. The one pitfall to avoid, that we see far too often (more at clubs than at munches), is submissive men forgetting the simple manners that they use in other social situations and brashly jumping into something like "May I worship you, Mistress?" I like this answer. Pushy and stupid subs send an email that says "Mistress, will you fuck me in the ass with your strap on"? What happened to "Hello. How are you. My name is ---------". Online or real life, do not forget that a Domme is a woman, not a hooker. Exactly! Hey hookers are people to! I'd approach a hooker with just as much insecurity as I would a domme. Don't pay out on hookers. In any case, I just take what ever comes into my head and edit it a bit. Eg: <Head> "Spank my ass and call me Murray" <Mouth>"Hi I'm Murray" (Not my real name by the way)

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