slave input (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress



Message

irishdan -> slave input (5/17/2008 10:37:14 AM)

        hey Dommes just wondering if you let your slave have any input into how the sessions is going to run? I often read about male fantasies that include being "dominated" but then go on to describe the full scene which in my mind is not female domination if the man makes all the decisions! so what im basicly asking is should the sub have any input whatsoever into how a session pans out?



Shawn1066 -> RE: slave input (5/17/2008 10:40:48 AM)

I am allowed imput every now and again, such as what I'd prefer from a handful of choices.  I don't think I've ever told her an intricate fantasy and asked her to fulfill it for me step-by-step.  I like her to do as she pleases, that's my fantasy.

And that's what she does ever, single time...exactly as she pleases.

DV's Fox




DominantJenny -> RE: slave input (5/17/2008 10:41:30 AM)

If everyone is having fun, everyone is happy. Happy is good. I know (or I learn) what my partner likes and doesn't like. I design our scenes with that information in mind (note: this doesn't mean I don't do stuff he doesn't like, it just means I know he's not gonna like it when I do it); designing scenes takes a lot of creativity, so I do sometimes ask for suggestions, and I play off of them as I will. Am I ever likely to take a scene suggestion word-for-word and translate it to reality? I can't imagine doing so. I AM the dominant for a reason, after all.



SylvereApLeanan -> RE: slave input (5/17/2008 10:47:51 AM)

~FR~
 
I'm all for subs describing their fantasies in detail.  The more detail the better.  I like to know what my s-type likes, what turns him/her on, etc.  That doesn't mean I'll automatically use the fantasy scene like a script, but if s/he's been very good, I might use bits and pieces of such a description to create a mutually enjoyable scene.



phoenixinchains -> RE: slave input (5/17/2008 10:50:45 AM)

to be the devil's advocate here,
imho, if your relationship goes beyond BDSM, you should both be at liberty to share fantasies.

i like SAL's view on the matter.



thetammyjo -> RE: slave input (5/17/2008 11:25:29 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

~FR~

I'm all for subs describing their fantasies in detail. The more detail the better. I like to know what my s-type likes, what turns him/her on, etc. That doesn't mean I'll automatically use the fantasy scene like a script, but if s/he's been very good, I might use bits and pieces of such a description to create a mutually enjoyable scene.


Exactly.

In fact, I think the "magic" that is often reported in a scene is a matter of the dom/top collecting ideas and fantasies and desires and then using them when she feels like it and how she feels. It can create the illusion that she has read your mind while leaving her in charge. If you know exactly what will happen, where is the "magic" there? Where is the surprise that often enables us to push further and higher in scenes both emotionally and physically?



LadyHibiscus -> RE: slave input (5/17/2008 11:51:10 AM)

I love to hear fantasies.  Actually, I ask to hear them.  I have a very good memory, and I file all those tidbits away for the future, and my subconscious will feed them to me when I need them.  I don't accept "lists" of I want this, or What are you going to do next.   If he or she wants a very specific thing, (or maybe "needs" it) I will go along with the request if I think it's appropriate.




chamberqueen -> RE: slave input (5/17/2008 11:59:58 AM)

I think part of it is in the presentation.  As a slave, I write fantasies to my Master.  Often He will take some of the ideas and work them into a session.  My fantasies are written as stories, not as a How To manual or a wish list.

As a Domme, I have had subs write to me about their fantasies in a way that sounds like they are commanding me what to do.  This especially irks me if they expect me dress in a certain way.  (I can't wear high heels because I have no feeling in the bottom of one foot, and it bothers me when a sub treats me as if I am an inferior Domme because I can't wear spike heels for his pleasure.)



MissMorrigan -> RE: slave input (5/17/2008 2:16:42 PM)

Being a submissive doesn't mean you don't have a voice, Dan. I value my boy's input and one of the things he has done, at my request, is write a list of 'sundays'... Sundays being one of our special days of the week that are set aside solely for us and in which I will make a selection from the list that he has drawn up of things that he enjoys - or may not lol It's a win/win situation. We're both happy.



RumpusParable -> RE: slave input (5/17/2008 3:05:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: irishdan

       hey Dommes just wondering if you let your slave have any input into how the sessions is going to run? I often read about male fantasies that include being "dominated" but then go on to describe the full scene which in my mind is not female domination if the man makes all the decisions! so what im basicly asking is should the sub have any input whatsoever into how a session pans out?


Absolutely, sometimes!  Both in my personal and pro capacities!  I WANT input, ideas, fantasies from a sub/slave!  -Because if I want to make it enjoyable for us both, I need that from them and when I want to make something unpleasant for them I need that from them still!

Now, having input is a hell of a lot different from scripting my every word and move.  THAT I've no interest in and won't take part in, personal or pro.  I'm not a robot, I'm a person who enjoys domination and topping.

Even when there is no domination involved and I'm solely topping someone, I've zero interest in a completely scripted/demanded play session.  Too much work, too little enjoyment.  I'm a human being for goodness sake, I'm not gonna bother if I'm not enjoying myself too!

So yes to input, no to being their robodomme.



submale4u2spank -> RE: slave input (5/17/2008 3:07:54 PM)

Good subs get their fantasies.



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: slave input (5/17/2008 3:55:06 PM)

i love receiving input from my pet ...in fact i encourage it. i feel it shows that he's in tuned to his cravings yet he knows i have the final say if i allow it or not.



BitaTruble -> RE: slave input (5/17/2008 4:04:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: irishdan

       hey Dommes just wondering if you let your slave have any input into how the sessions is going to run?


The only input I want is knowledge of any hard/medical limits and if there are too many of those, we won't be having a scene but then, I'm not a dominant, I'm a sadist. Telling me how you want the scene to go is a pretty sure fire way not to get it unless it involves something I was going to do anyway like needle piercing.
[sm=shame.gif]

Celeste



LadyPact -> RE: slave input (5/17/2008 6:12:16 PM)

I do like to get input from My sub.  It doesn't mean that it is something he will get right away, or even be part of a scene at all, but I file the information away for later use.  There are times he absolutely deserves a reward, so I will throw something a little special for him in a scene.  Other times, it can be just a plain hot idea that I happen to want to do, once I've thought of it.  If he's smart, he'll talk with Me about how much he enjoys seeing My pleasure at certain activities, which also happen to be favorites of Mine.  (I'll stop right there so this comment doesn't become wank material.)

Of course, the same method can backfire, if he's too persistant about a certain type of play.  I still make the final decision on how I want him serving Me.



Strictwoman -> RE: slave input (5/17/2008 9:25:39 PM)

I prefer as little input as possible on the day.  In fact silence is preferrable even demanded.  I will already have an exact knowledge of what will and wont be happening, and its not for someone else to tell me.  All this would have either been discussed at some other time in a course of a conversation about life, or if it is someone I dont know so well then I will negoiate limits and carry the entire scene with zero input apart from safe word system.  the scene would be very light and careful. 



Lashra -> RE: slave input (5/17/2008 9:45:04 PM)

Sure in fact I ask him sometimes about fantasies he has had or we look at new toys and see whats interesting. He can't run our sessions or say what happens in them, but he can run ideas past me and I will decide if it sounds like something I want to do or not. Usually we do because our tastes run very much alike.

~Lashra



abqowner -> RE: slave input (5/17/2008 11:22:59 PM)

Generally I know what I'm going to do, and won't ask for ideas from the other party.  I think a part of what they're asking me for is the release from decisions.  "Just do it already!  But don't ask me about it."  I'm happy to oblige.



BigBaby -> RE: slave input (5/18/2008 1:28:54 AM)

   This is a very good thread and gives me a sense of what to expect as I will soon be getting a mistress for the first time, I have given her plenty of ideas on fantasies of mine and she seems quite open to them so will go along with most of the people on this thread.



MasterFireMaam -> RE: slave input (5/18/2008 3:30:21 AM)

For new people, I show them what I have in my toybag and ask which are the "no" toys. I also ask about certain acts like biting, rough body play, etc. I then decide if what can happen is going to be fulfilling for me. If it's not, I save us both some time and turn them down. If so, I play, doing what I want within all the "yes" toys.

With a person I know already, I know the answers. Sometimes, people ask me for something specific. I found out the intent behind why they ask, then decide if that works for me.

Master Fire



malloves69 -> RE: slave input (5/18/2008 4:41:36 AM)

if a sub is paying a pro dom then yes his input should go along ways [:)] its up to her how to create the scene and add to it her way that she is comfortable with or why bother seeing her and paying her ?? is my opinion [:)]the chemistry between the 2 people is huge or it wont go over very well and the sub has to find another mistress to consider after all its his money [:)] in a 24/7 relationship the mistress has all the control more so i think ..but once again how well do they get along with each other is a big factor i believe in how many times and how long they are together ..just like good sex both partys should be happy with each other ...yes or no ? im very happy with my mistress ..love our times together and yes i pay her well [:)] have fun ..mal



Page: [1] 2   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.03125