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To all of the other male subs out there that have domme... - 5/17/2008 3:29:24 PM   
submale4u2spank


Posts: 75
Joined: 11/24/2006
Status: offline 		What was it that you did in order to get your domme to meet with you in person and give you a chance?  I've been here for about a year and a half and still have not been able to meet one person in real life.  
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: To all of the other male subs out there that have d... - 5/17/2008 4:30:06 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		I'm not a male sub, but I can tell you what my boy did to attract my interest.  The first words he typed in the CMail he sent was:
 
"I read your profile."
 
And then proceeded to talk about things I've stated in my profile to prove it.
 
A couple of months later, and we're now play partners.  It's casual, but we'll be friends even after he finds a permanent mistress.  All because he took the time to read, comment on shared interests, and generally prove himself someone I genuinely like. 

(in reply to submale4u2spank)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: To all of the other male subs out there that have d... - 5/17/2008 4:32:41 PM   
submale4u2spank


Posts: 75
Joined: 11/24/2006
Status: offline 		Thanks I should have addressed the title so Dommes could add in what it was that their submissive did to get to meet in person.

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: To all of the other male subs out there that have d... - 5/17/2008 5:52:28 PM   
homedespot


Posts: 79
Joined: 5/28/2006
Status: offline 		My slave paid attention to both what I said, and what I didn't say. he really *listened* to Me, even though it was in text for a long time at first. (We are going on 5 years together in person now).

We progressed from text to phone and then I let him fly 3000 miles to come see Me. I don't know about anyone else and I won't speak for them but I take things really slowly. It was a year of talking on the phone and in text before I met him.

I've met several others from here who were local to Me much more quickly. One I went to Las Vegas with others I didn't spark or they didn't spark Me. The biggest turn on for Me in meeting My slave was just the fact that he listened really intently and he made it clear that he was prepared to wait for Me to be ready. If I said, casually in conversation, have you read xxx book he'd look the book up on the internet or read reviews of it or go and buy it and read it etc. If I said I like italian food he'd ask Me about what type of foods and where I had them and what I enjoyed about them. By the time he got here I was desperate for him to cook for Me!

I don't know that this applies to your situation, I know that I don't "play" casually so that when people approach Me who are looking for that I tend to drop them awfully (maybe even unfairly) fast.

J.

(in reply to submale4u2spank)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: To all of the other male subs out there that have d... - 5/18/2008 2:24:17 PM   
nightphoenix


Posts: 139
Joined: 1/27/2005
Status: offline 		Funny thing about this instance that Syl speaks of...when I wrote I knew she wasn't seeking a male sub at all; her profile was very clear on that.

She did just have a lot of shared interests, and just fascinated me in general, so well, I wrote pretty much as she already said.  I told her that I knew she wasn't seeking a male sub so wasn't asking to be one, but felt we had a lot in common and so would love to talk with her and perhaps be friends.

And so we did, and we kind of hit it off. =)

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: To all of the other male subs out there that have d... - 5/18/2008 3:50:14 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		He said, I liked your profile a lot, would you like to talk and see if we have more in common?  Then he was not a jerk on the phone or in chat. 

I've met plenty of folks from here, and other sites.  Some I hit it off with, others not.  I can't honestly say that they all approached me as a person, since sometimes our only goal was getting together for play, so we were interested in compatible kinks, but they were all respectful, not presumptuous, and willing to meet me halfway--at least! 

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to nightphoenix)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: To all of the other male subs out there that have d... - 5/18/2008 5:42:07 PM   
rubberpet


Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline 		All I did was read Mistress's profile, saw Her interests, and took a chance because there was something that really attracted me to Her.  I really liked that She is gothic, loves rubber, and is dark and demented like me.  What initially got me in the door, though, was my collarme name...rubberpet.

I just wrote a well thought out letter that was personal to Her...no form letter.  I put lots of time and effort to show Her She was special.  We really clicked and the rest is history!

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.


(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: To all of the other male subs out there that have d... - 5/18/2008 6:03:54 PM   
DrkJourney


Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline 		For me not only do they say they read my profile, by reading their email I can tell they actually did read it.  They are not pressuring me on the first email to meet, talk on phone , or IM.

If he shows he wants to actually take the time to know me, can actually hold a conversation, and can stick around for more than a week and not just disappear with no word or responding....then I probably be more than happy to meet.  

I am not one to wait forever, I think the longer you wait the more a fantasy builds up and when you actually do meet there might be disappointments on both sides...lol  But I do, however, would like more than one email before I agree.  And I mean real emails too, that are conversational, not a bunch of one liners.

One guy emails me, about two one liners here, two one liners there.  He'd "email" one month and you not hear from him for about three, then another three or four months later....then he gets mad and says I'm "playing" him because we have talked for "months" and I still don't want to meet.   Am I supposed to feel comfortable with a guy that has a that has sent less that ten one liner emails and has a one liner profile and no pic to boot?

um...I watch America's Most Wanted I know better.....LOL

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....



(in reply to rubberpet)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: To all of the other male subs out there that have d... - 5/18/2008 7:54:39 PM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		i read my M'Ladys profile and was honest and upfront with her. she agreed to meet at a local club so i could see how she played and we talked for some time. now I'm wearing her collar. be honest read profiles and join some chat rooms go to local BDSM events and a nice dominate might just collar you.

(in reply to DrkJourney)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: To all of the other male subs out there that have d... - 5/18/2008 8:01:33 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Remind Me to give you a lecture in focus tomorrow.


It's "Dominant" not "donimate".


It's ok.   I know why you are distracted.  

(You're lucky I don't have you here just now.)


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LPslittleclip)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: To all of the other male subs out there that have d... - 5/18/2008 8:13:32 PM   
torsionman


Posts: 74
Joined: 7/28/2004
Status: offline 		I went to munches, meetings and gatherings of like minded people. I met many that are too far away for me to stay in PERSONAL contact with, ie: face to face contact. I've made a number of contacts both sub and Dominant. I even had a relationship with two Dommes. All this came from me putting myself out to meet them. I wrote, Emailed, talked with them online and then when they were comfortable with me, met them in real life. I'm not in a relationship at present but putting yourself in a position to comunicate is the first step...in person in a "public" setting.

(in reply to submale4u2spank)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: To all of the other male subs out there that have d... - 5/18/2008 8:41:29 PM   
submale4u2spank


Posts: 75
Joined: 11/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Remind Me to give you a lecture in focus tomorrow.


It's "Dominant" not "donimate".


It's ok.   I know why you are distracted.  

(You're lucky I don't have you here just now.)



I think someone is confused.^^^

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: To all of the other male subs out there that have d... - 5/18/2008 8:46:11 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Yeah, well, he had a bit of tease and denial tonight.  I don't believe he's thinking clearly, above the shoulders.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to submale4u2spank)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: To all of the other male subs out there that have d... - 5/19/2008 10:41:48 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		LP he is dealing with a woman. How can he think clearly.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: To all of the other male subs out there that have d... - 5/19/2008 1:11:12 PM   
Shawn1066


Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		Lessee.  I joined Collarme and got mail from her later that day.  We moved to Yahoo, where I expressed genuine interest in her as a human being and did not once send pictures of myself naked to her or beg to serve her.  In fact, we barely talked BDSM at all.  We mostly talk about our lives and such.  We weren't looking at each other as a prospective match, as it were...  We were just looking for conversation.  We hit it off very well.  The next day she was really bored and, since I lived one city over, she invited me over to help her take pictures in the park.

We hit it off that night, quite well.  We haven't been apart since.

DV's Fox

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: To all of the other male subs out there that have d... - 5/19/2008 7:04:29 PM   
maleworker


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/14/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submale4u2spank

What was it that you did in order to get your domme to meet with you in person and give you a chance? I've been here for about a year and a half and still have not been able to meet one person in real life.


I was legitimately submissive and eager to please. I actually wanted what I claimed I wanted, which was to serve a magnificent Goddess, and to know Her and love Her fully. In short, I practiced what I preached.

The above seems pretty simple and obvious, but it's scary how many men can't check off even this first item on the list, even when they claim to be "submissives"... and I won't even talk about self-labeled "slaves".

Being real is just the beginning, though. Ask yourself if you are likewise a kind and generous person. Do you like to give? Will you sacrifice? Will you give Her your body and mind to use as She sees fit? Do you have an air of class about you? Are you well-mannered and respectful? Are you in good physical shape (do you have a photo)? Do you take the time to read profiles and follow directions?

All simple things, but again—it's amazing how many males don't consider these basic things. Above all, do not LIE or attempt to be something you are not. Have some accountability, and mean what you say.

< Message edited by maleworker -- 5/19/2008 7:16:56 PM >

_____________________________

m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

H U M B L E D M A L E S

(in reply to submale4u2spank)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: To all of the other male subs out there that have d... - 5/20/2008 5:35:51 AM   
APoinephilicLife


Posts: 28
Joined: 5/11/2008
Status: offline 		i read everyones profile i come across.  i still have had no luck in finding a dom.  =(

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: To all of the other male subs out there that have d... - 5/20/2008 11:08:34 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Sorry AP. We are all taken by the older Submissives.

(in reply to APoinephilicLife)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: To all of the other male subs out there that have d... - 5/20/2008 11:13:59 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

LP he is dealing with a woman. How can he think clearly.

Don't think he can, Ray.  I've been directing blood to his 'other'  brain.  


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: To all of the other male subs out there that have d... - 5/20/2008 11:39:53 AM   
TwoNYCDommes


Posts: 237
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan
I'm not a male sub, but I can tell you what my boy did to attract my interest.  The first words he typed in the CMail he sent was:
"I read your profile." 
And then proceeded to talk about things I've stated in my profile to prove it.


What she said. 
It's amazing how many people write to us claiming to have read our profile, but then give no other indication of having done so, and instead proceed to talk about what they want, ignoring what we want.  Our first impression of a submissive is based primarily on how well he seems to have paid attention to our profile, and can converse politely about common interests we share.  The next thing we look for is some indication of reliability, which we measure initially by an ability to do things like respond promptly (i.e. within a day or two) to e-mail, address questions we ask, provide a phone number, and schedule a meeting.  

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
Profile   Post #: 20
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