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What If? - 5/17/2008 6:35:54 PM

Pandora3392

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As a Mistress you accept a new/potential male sub and during play he turns violent towards you. Has anyone ever had this happen? I completely understand that you must know your sub very well before hand (i.e. limits, personality); however, has the sexual excitement, teasing and pain ever brought about unacceptable results? And if so what was your reaction? Are you ever concerned with this when working with someone new?

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RE: What If? - 5/17/2008 7:04:36 PM

DominantJenny

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I've almost/have had it happen. I don't use bondage much, which makes me more vulnerable to that sort of thing. He's never turned on me fully, but he has used his superior strength to stop me when I accidentally caused dramatically more pain than either of us expected. I had to talk him down. It was scary, but we dealt with it and moved on.
He would never deliberately do that; it was wholly unconscious animal instinct.

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RE: What If? - 5/17/2008 7:34:29 PM

submale4u2spank

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What if gravaty pushed matter apart instead of pulling it together? Well then we wouldn't be having this conversation now would we?

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RE: What If? - 5/17/2008 8:28:26 PM

Pandora3392

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Thank you for your post Dominant Jenny.... It has not happened to me, but the situation has crossed my mind.

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RE: What If? - 5/17/2008 9:30:43 PM

abqowner

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It happened to me - not as an owner, but as a slave. The first time I ever had a riding crop used on me it hurt in a way I had never experienced. It just triggered something seriously primal. I was tied to a pool table, of all things, gagged, and he was really enjoying himself. So much for "slow down" signals. I just saw red. I think I would have killed him if I could have.

In that instance I scared myself more than he did. But when I jumped sides it was a great lesson to remember.

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RE: What If? - 5/17/2008 9:41:22 PM

Lashra

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Yes I had it happen years ago with a very young sub. He suddenly decided during a session that he wanted to be the dominant and force(yes unconsensual)me into having unlubed anal sex(he'd been watching porn about it for weeks and got obsessed with it). We got into a phyiscal confrontation and he ended up on the floor with a busted head because I hit him with a heavy lamp. Never let it be said that smaller woman can't take on a bigger man if she is enraged, familiar with human anatomy and fighting for her life, because there are women out there who can.

I left the lifestyle for many years after that. My current sub I've had for 4 years now and I trust him totally. But it did take time to work up to that trust and I told him about that incident so he was aware of it.

~Lashra

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RE: What If? - 5/17/2008 10:21:01 PM

PanthersMom

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thankfully i have never had a problem like this in my kink life. i did have domestic violence issues in my previous marriage. i will never be subject to such again, and he knows it.
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RE: What If? - 5/17/2008 10:43:06 PM

khem

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I'd say go very very slow with new folks. And try playing with them at a local dungeon or something first if you can.

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RE: What If? - 5/18/2008 1:20:33 AM

undergroundsea

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quote:

ORIGINAL: khem
I'd say go very very slow with new folks. And try playing with them at a local dungeon or something first if you can.

I agree.

From a conversation with a professional domme many years ago, this phenomenon is one that can occur.

One scenario that leads to such a situation is when a sub is conflicted about his desires and after having gone through an experience that then makes him feel shamed, he can become enraged. Per that conversation, the more edgy the play, the more likely that such a response might occur; heavy degradation with someone new to it was an example she pointed out in particular.

Another scenario where a sub can turn violent is if he feels he has been betrayed or his limits were disregarded.

Also, per that woman, guys who like feet are amongst the safest, most devoted subs. Yay for her words!

Cheers,

Sea

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RE: What If? - 5/18/2008 3:58:04 AM

MasterFireMaam

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Usually, by the time I play with someone, I know a little bit about their background and what to expect. That being said, I've had them get close...and fight to maintain control of themselves...and it was...HOT.

Part of what I do is cathartic spiritual SM work. I'm used to emotional outbursts and can handle violence and anger, given proper restraints or knowledge that they won't actually attack me.

Master Fire

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RE: What If? - 5/18/2008 7:09:22 AM

hopelesslyInvo

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i would certainly condone force and violence in order to stop something if need arises, but using it to start something is disgraceful.

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RE: What If? - 5/18/2008 10:06:07 AM

Misstoyou

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

...That being said, I've had them get close...and fight to maintain control of themselves...and it was...HOT.

I would experience this with my former submissive on occasion, and I totally agree. I have a special tone I use, and would bring my mouth directly to his ear to help "talk him down". Primal yum!

It's nothing I'd ever have to worry about with my sweet puppy, bless him! Though his devotion has nothing to do with my feet. lol

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RE: What If? - 5/18/2008 10:14:16 AM

LadyHibiscus

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I always had that in mind, especially when dealing with my former slave, who was 6'7" to my 5'5", who had certain anger management issues. There were times when I do think that the thing that saved me was my absolute lack of fear. I never had to defend myself, but I was prepared to at any time.

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