pixelslave
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Joined: 8/19/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyJeelys
First on your friend....I take a little different view. You mentioned that he agreed because he doesn't want to loose her. If he is the one who expressed this concern, I would be very concerned that he is being emotionally manipulated. I don't think that's ok. I don't think its safe or sane or consentual for a person-slave or Dominant-to give everything they own to another person or give up the foundations of independence. As a Dominant, I would NEVER allow this for any pet and I have questioned it when having discussions with other Domiants. First, relationships often falter. The bloom fades and if you've got nothing to fall back on, you can really be stuck. Next, bad things happen. What happens after he's turned over everything to her, and she gets hit by a bus. I would have hoped that as a society, we'd learned from the experienc of traditional wives the dangers of this kind of dependence.
I very much agree with what you've said LadyJeelys! When my divorce with my ex-wife/former-mistress began, I wasn't working because she didn't want me to work. When she became abusive, that made it very difficult for me to leave and to support myself. She had all the resources she needed to hire the most expensive law firm in town to make my life miserable and to blow all of what we'd accumulated over the years on legal fees or pretty much however she wanted. I had to fight very hard just to be able to maintain reasonable visitation with my children.
I feel as though I made a mistake in not reopening my business following my recovery from an auto accident as soon as I felt I was ready; choosing to do as she wished instead. Not only was I not very happy doing what she wanted of me, I wasn't in a sound position financially to live on my own at the time I moved out, and still can't say I'm doing much more than getting by following the divorce. She took full advantage of it throughout the process using the legal system to try and break me. The legal system here looks at men who aren't working in a very negative manner as they expect them to be the breadwinners. In our community, it's easy for a woman to paint a man as a "layabout" during a divorce if he's not working. She even outed me to a court psych, acting as though she were a victim of my "perversions" instead of the Dominant that she actually is. 
quote:
I've dealt with too many ladies whose husbands died unexpectedly---women without bank accounts, without investments, etc. Some didn't even have access to any spending money. That doesn't even address the women who were dumped and hubby (who had everything) walked out with everything. Personally, I don't think we as a society should say its ok--we should say this isn't a good idea.
Agreed! Provisions for the sub/slave's health care and future financial well being are extremely important. I hope the OP's friend has been covered in some manner.
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But in response to what sounds like your underlying question---no, this isn't typical or required for a 24/7 slave relationship. Pffft, I am a terrible money manager. I definitely don't want control of Secondary's money. In fact, when he finally finishes uni and gets his bottom in my cage, he'll have to take care of the money. I'd rather not be bothered. But he will also have a job, have friends, have contact with his family, my family and any other family we can find. He's whole person--and I like that whole person. I don't want to limit his horizons, but to expand them in our relationship.
I'd been isolated by my ex-wife/former-mistress and not permitted to participate in groups in the local community and thus couldn't make friend with whom I could relate. Because of the auto accident I'd had, I also hadn't been able to get out a lot and make hardly any vanilla friends either. We'd just moved here a month and a half before I had the auto accident, so I had no history to build on. All the people I knew to any extent were limited to the medical professionals that I'd been dealing with; not people whom one can use for personal references.
The first thing she did after I moved out, was circle up all the neighbors and the parents of the kids' friends and their teachers so that I had no one who would speak for me as being a good person or who was willing to still be any kind of a friend. I'd essentially been isolated to begin with and was now totally cut off. When I needed references, I didn't have any as the people I knew refused as she'd already cut them off from being available to me.
I share this because I hope this never happens to someone else like the OP's friend whom it sounds as though might be setting himself up to be in an ideal position for something similar to occur. 
The only saving grace for me was that I had control of funds that I could withdraw to take with me since I managed our investments. Access to what I hadn't withdrawn was quickly cut off and put in escrow for use only for certain purposes as soon as we got to court, but at least the money was still there for me to draw from for my legal fees and protected to some extent so I wasn't initially penniless. Sadly, it doesn't sound as though the OP's friend will be in anything close to that position I was able to put myself in.
- pixel
Wyatt's been missing 5 weeks as of today.
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Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!
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