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subfever -> Sometimes You Just Can't Win (5/18/2008 11:12:03 PM)
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A poor old woman fell into a deep depression after having lost her husband a few weeks earlier. Anne's depression, combined with the aches and pains of a tired, decrepit, 90 year-old body; got to be too much to endure. So she decided to end it all.
Anne removed her husband's loaded pistol from top shelve of the closet, and held it up to her head. Then she stopped, thinking how horrible it would be to have a closed casket... especially living in a small town and everyone knowing her!
So Anne decided to shoot herself in the heart instead. She aimed the pistol towards her chest, but stopped once again. Anne wasn't exactly sure whether her heart was on her right side or on the left side. She certainly didn't want a botched suicide attempt!
Determined nevertheless, Anne placed the gun down on the table, and called her doctor.
"Doctor Bruce, where exactly is my heart located?" Anne asked.
"Your heart is on your left side, just under your left breast." Doctor Bruce replied.
Anne confirmed the doctor's response, thanked him, and promptly hung up.
The next morning's headlines read:
"Local Woman Shoots Herself in Kneecap"
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