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Kinkompatibility - 5/19/2008 1:49:04 PM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
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So as not to hijack the pain/subjectivity thread

We all have personal tastes and needs .. desires, limits, hotspots and must haves in our relationships. Healthy, well set up, well maintained relationships centre around both partners getting their needs met. Even a (consensual) TPE No-Limits slave being denied sex and kept shackled to the kitchen sink and fed dog food is having her needs met - because she is in a TPE no limits relationship where her needs are not met (twisted logic but those people who are in those relationships will get it).

I cannot imagine that really healthy/stable/well adjusted realtionships survive without a degree of compromise and negotiation - even if all that compromise and negotiation is done via the Dominant's internal dialogue, totally on His or Her own terms.

I dont want to talk about negotiation and compromise though ... i want to talk about Kinkompatibility. This is my new word for that thing you get from your partner that makes your toes curls just thinking about it. That type of play, or devious thing they do, or hint the drop, or way of doing something that just gets you right in the sweet spot every time without fail .. the thing that makes your partner ...your co-conspirator of Kink

< Message edited by softness -- 5/19/2008 1:50:30 PM >

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RE: Kinkompatibility - 5/19/2008 1:58:33 PM

everhope

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Joined: 8/19/2007
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i know exactly what you are talking about softness. i have some off-beat kinks (really no pun intended) and when i find a Dominant that also gets off on them....you described it well with "toe curling" but i would also add non stop pussy throbbing, heat fluttering to the toes curling.

may we all fid our bliss,
everhope

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RE: Kinkompatibility - 5/19/2008 2:35:00 PM

DominantJenny

Posts: 645
Joined: 4/6/2008
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Like, what are mine, you mean?
The thing that gets me are those things I never thought would turn him on, that were tried on a whim and succeeded FAR beyond expectations, like spanking his balls, slapping his face, and, most recently, digging my nails into his cock. It just delights me endlessly, these unexpected, dramatic successes.
Alternatively, when he says, with a certain inflection, "You OWN me." Yes, yes, I do, and isn't it lovely?
The way he positively lives to give me an orgasm...half the time, I'm not sure he doesn't enjoy it more than I do. :P
We have our areas where more compatibility would be spiffy (he gets the giggles or gets violent when at the edge of his limits, and I want whimpers and tears, darnit!), but overall, we are far more compatible than incompatible.
In other relationships, it was other things...that's the nice thing about having such a variety of potential things to choose from. Kink-wise, my interests are fairly broad, I suppose.

(in reply to everhope)

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RE: Kinkompatibility - 5/19/2008 2:57:48 PM

MmeGigs

Posts: 706
Joined: 1/26/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

I dont want to talk about negotiation and compromise though ... i want to talk about Kinkompatibility. This is my new word for that thing you get from your partner that makes your toes curls just thinking about it. That type of play, or devious thing they do, or hint the drop, or way of doing something that just gets you right in the sweet spot every time without fail .. the thing that makes your partner ...your co-conspirator of Kink

I was thinking that I didn't really have anything like that, but there is this one thing...

When my Al is tied up and getting the crap beat out of him, and he's hollering and struggling, and I and/or whoever else is beating him are getting a real workout, and I pause and lean in close to check on him and he whimpers "more please..." I just melt. I'm getting a little anxious just thinking about it.

(in reply to softness)

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RE: Kinkompatibility - 5/19/2008 7:58:57 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: softness
I cannot imagine that really healthy/stable/well adjusted realtionships survive without a degree of compromise and negotiation - even if all that compromise and negotiation is done via the Dominant's internal dialogue, totally on His or Her own terms.

I know you might not want to talk about it, but I will say that's pretty much crap to me. I suck at negotiation and I don't compromise who I am in a relationship I have total choice about.

That doesn't mean I get everything I want in the immediate second I want it.

quote:

I dont want to talk about negotiation and compromise though ... i want to talk about Kinkompatibility. This is my new word for that thing you get from your partner that makes your toes curls just thinking about it. That type of play, or devious thing they do, or hint the drop, or way of doing something that just gets you right in the sweet spot every time without fail .. the thing that makes your partner ...your co-conspirator of Kink

Sounds like kinky people trying to feel special about something everyone else already experiences in their relationships when sparks fly. Just so happens that with kinky people it's a kinky thing.

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RE: Kinkompatibility - 5/20/2008 7:43:53 AM

LadyHibiscus