Submissive Initiative

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LotusSong -> Submissive Initiative (5/20/2008 10:11:38 AM)
What would you think if a submissive took the initiative to start a munch or a Domme/sub group and managed it? I think a group of submissives that took the time and energy to start one and maintain it would show the Dommes what they are capable of and their commitment. What say you all? (Sort of a “mountain to Mohammed” situation) Would you be more likely to attend?

Dnomyar -> RE: Submissive Initiative (5/20/2008 10:14:15 AM)
I dose'nt make a difference who starts a group. All that matters is that it is well run.

LadyPact -> RE: Submissive Initiative (5/20/2008 10:21:51 AM)
Same. I'd be more than happy to see this happen.

LotusSong -> RE: Submissive Initiative (5/20/2008 10:23:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar I dose'nt make a difference who starts a group. All that matters is that it is well run. That goes without saying. [:)] I think if a submissive is in the position to create his/her situation like this, it would show how serious they are about all this. If the submissives are the ones to set up parties or meetings and host them, it would be seen as a form of service right out of the chute. Why is it that the Dommes are always expected to set things up? What got me thinking about this this morning, was an invite to what looks like a very well done chat site by a male submissive. Any subs reading this who have done such a thing and how did it go?

MamaDomme1 -> RE: Submissive Initiative (5/20/2008 10:38:52 AM)
I've known of other subs starting such with great success. Go for it!

Boondoggle -> RE: Submissive Initiative (5/20/2008 11:00:14 AM)
Um, don't subs run most of the community, anyway? They certainly are what keep the groups in this town functioning. Maybe it's just because there's a handful of subs who actually enjoy, and are good at, organizing. I've actually toyed with the idea of starting a F/m group in town, myself, because there is a place for it, though I don't have the organizational gene, so I would have to have an interested party's help.

thetammyjo -> RE: Submissive Initiative (5/20/2008 11:03:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar I dose'nt make a difference who starts a group. All that matters is that it is well run. That goes without saying. [:)] I think if a submissive is in the position to create his/her situation like this, it would show how serious they are about all this. If the submissives are the ones to set up parties or meetings and host them, it would be seen as a form of service right out of the chute. Why is it that the Dommes are always expected to set things up? What got me thinking about this this morning, was an invite to what looks like a very well done chat site by a male submissive. Any subs reading this who have done such a thing and how did it go? It's not more a service for the community than it would be if a dominant did it. We shouldn't (in my very strong opinion) be dominating or submitting to the community but in our personal dynamics. When you organize an event or host a munch or help run a group you take on both the authority of that position but should also take on the responsibilities of serving your community within limits and abilities. If you don't take on both roles your event may not do very well for very long. What might be an extra difficulty for a submissive would be the wanker who decides you get to be his/her sub whenever she/he comes to an event. There is a similar thing that can happen to dominants and which I had happen to me -- the expectation that you'll play with anyone who comes outside of the event. When I hosted the AppleMunch for a few years I had one particularly creepy "sub" (note the " ") but I had a great group of regulars who unasked moved in and told him to back off. Surround yourself with someone(s) you trust and you should be fine.

LotusSong -> RE: Submissive Initiative (5/20/2008 11:34:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thetammyjo What might be an extra difficulty for a submissive would be the wanker who decides you get to be his/her sub whenever she/he comes to an event. There is a similar thing that can happen to dominants and which I had happen to me -- the expectation that you'll play with anyone who comes outside of the event. When I hosted the AppleMunch for a few years I had one particularly creepy "sub" (note the " ") but I had a great group of regulars who unasked moved in and told him to back off. Surround yourself with someone(s) you trust and you should be fine. How well I know! Has anyone set up a situation "by invitation only", just to offset this type of situation without being under constant attack?

thetammyjo -> RE: Submissive Initiative (5/20/2008 4:38:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong quote: ORIGINAL: thetammyjo What might be an extra difficulty for a submissive would be the wanker who decides you get to be his/her sub whenever she/he comes to an event. There is a similar thing that can happen to dominants and which I had happen to me -- the expectation that you'll play with anyone who comes outside of the event. When I hosted the AppleMunch for a few years I had one particularly creepy "sub" (note the " ") but I had a great group of regulars who unasked moved in and told him to back off. Surround yourself with someone(s) you trust and you should be fine. How well I know! Has anyone set up a situation "by invitation only", just to offset this type of situation without being under constant attack? I have not done that but then it would defeat the reason I'd host a munch -- to meet new people and have a wider audience to teach and learn from.

LotusSong -> RE: Submissive Initiative (5/20/2008 4:57:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thetammyjo I have not done that but then it would defeat the reason I'd host a munch -- to meet new people and have a wider audience to teach and learn from. I had started a group for a specific dynamic (het domme/het male sub) and eventually became dissed by the "community" because the other flavors... were not intended to be accommodated. I saw a need.. I set things up for this one specific dynamic. Why the switches/femsubs/cross dressers etc felt it was my responsibility to extend it to encompass them is beyond my comprehension. There was quite a large pan sexual group in town they were already a part of and if they felt they were not being served, I was more than happy to help them organize their own group. Gee.. no takers. The only reason I could think of is that it took WORK and it's much easier to ride on another's efforts and bitch than apply themselves to meet their own needs. Anyhow, back to the topic. I know the boys in our group took care of the set up and break down of the buffet and meeting places. The women took note and their chances of creating a situation where they could successfully "show their stuff" for the women to notice was a main focus. It kind of answers the question.."How do I attract a Domme".. act like a productive submissive :)

submale4u2spank -> RE: Submissive Initiative (5/20/2008 5:49:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong What would you think if a submissive took the initiative to start a munch or a Domme/sub group and managed it? I think a group of submissives that took the time and energy to start one and maintain it would show the Dommes what they are capable of and their commitment. What say you all? (Sort of a “mountain to Mohammed” situation) Would you be more likely to attend? Fail

LotusSong -> RE: Submissive Initiative (5/20/2008 5:57:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: submale4u2spank Fail Why do you think so? I think it would be a pro-active sort of situation.

Shawn1066 -> RE: Submissive Initiative (5/20/2008 6:11:49 PM)
I sincerely hope nobody thinks submissives are incapable of running things. That would be a grevious mistake. I can't speak as a dominant, but as a submissive... I wouldn't be more impressed with a dominant who started a munch. It really wouldn't factor into my thoughts. DV's Fox

LotusSong -> RE: Submissive Initiative (5/20/2008 6:43:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Shawn1066 I sincerely hope nobody thinks submissives are incapable of running things. That would be a grevious mistake. I can't speak as a dominant, but as a submissive... I wouldn't be more impressed with a dominant who started a munch. It really wouldn't factor into my thoughts. DV's Fox I agree. My slave was my rock :)

pixelslave -> RE: Submissive Initiative (5/20/2008 7:21:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong What would you think if a submissive took the initiative to start a munch or a Domme/sub group and managed it? I think a group of submissives that took the time and energy to start one and maintain it would show the Dommes what they are capable of and their commitment. What say you all? (Sort of a “mountain to Mohammed” situation) Would you be more likely to attend? The largest group that I belong to in the DFW area which currently has about 450 members with a core of about 150 to 200 regularly active ones, was started and led by a submissive female several years ago. It's just been in the last week or two that she finally decided to turn the reigns over to someone else so she could focus her energies on her career. In several of the groups in our community, the most active "worker bees" and leaders identify as submissives. I see no conflict or downside to a submissive leading or starting a group provided it serves a purpose in the community or fills a need. I know of and belong to another group that was recently started by a different submissive female in the north Dallas area for exactly that reason; there was a need. All I can say is "Kudos to her for taking it on!" - pixel

thetammyjo -> RE: Submissive Initiative (5/20/2008 7:33:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong quote: ORIGINAL: thetammyjo I have not done that but then it would defeat the reason I'd host a munch -- to meet new people and have a wider audience to teach and learn from. I had started a group for a specific dynamic (het domme/het male sub) and eventually became dissed by the "community" because the other flavors... were not intended to be accommodated. I saw a need.. I set things up for this one specific dynamic. Why the switches/femsubs/cross dressers etc felt it was my responsibility to extend it to encompass them is beyond my comprehension. There was quite a large pan sexual group in town they were already a part of and if they felt they were not being served, I was more than happy to help them organize their own group. Gee.. no takers. The only reason I could think of is that it took WORK and it's much easier to ride on another's efforts and bitch than apply themselves to meet their own needs. That is 100% the case in my experience. The vast majority of people love to bitch and moan about munches, organizations, parties, workshops, blah blah blah but they refuse to any of the actual work that is required. Then they wonder why those who do the work get burnt out. There's a warning for anyone sub or dom -- you will get burnt out so try not to do it all yourself and try not to invest too much of yourself in anything you organize. You are so much more than a munch or a play party. quote: Anyhow, back to the topic. I know the boys in our group took care of the set up and break down of the buffet and meeting places. The women took note and their chances of creating a situation where they could successfully "show their stuff" for the women to notice was a main focus. It kind of answers the question.."How do I attract a Domme".. act like a productive submissive :) I find that I'm more attracted to those that seem to have a clue and aren't opposed to doing the work even if it's only for an hour to clean up or set up for an event a few times a year.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Submissive Initiative (5/20/2008 9:04:13 PM)
Fox is actualy taking charge of our efforts to start a munch out here. I am support staff only, he is the brains behind the operation at the moment. Id think if a sub saw a need and filled it, it would look good for the submissive in question. I know I have been impressed by the efforts Fox as put into the one we are planning, even if it was been slow becasue of other obligations. Someone doing it without help or prompting would be just as impressive, I believe, though I dont know if that would make them more or less attractive to a Dom.

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