Another thread got Me thinking

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LadyPact -> Another thread got Me thinking (5/20/2008 1:45:00 PM)
Something that DV brought up here http://www.collarchat.com/m_1871849/tm.htm got Me to wonder about something. Quite some time ago, when I was first talking with My sub about protocol, I explained to him My preferences in addressing other D types. I'm of the mind that courtesy is expected, as he would be representing Me, yet respect was earned. How he would speak to others, would be guided by his impressions, along with My own. In other words, I don't expect him to call everyone who slaps a D label on themselves as "Sir" or "Ma'am". I think those decisions should be made, depending on the individual. So, I'm curious, as I usually am. For D types, what are your directions for yours when it comes to this? For s types, what is the policy that your D has given to you?

ownedgirlie -> RE: Another thread got Me thinking (5/20/2008 1:49:11 PM)
All people other than my Master are to be treated as equal human beings. No one but my Master is called Master. He has no problem with me calling people Sir or Ma'am, as in most walks of life that's just considered polite. But I am to look up to nobody but him.

katGS -> RE: Another thread got Me thinking (5/20/2008 2:09:01 PM)
Himself gets called Master, dear, darling, dude, and his given name depending on mood and circumstances. Everyone else gets called by their firstname.

phoenixinchains -> RE: Another thread got Me thinking (5/20/2008 2:10:06 PM)
there was never a point We sat down and made a list... Master is in the military, as His spouse, everything i do is a reflection of Him. so i am to behave as though His reputation depended on it. it pleases Him that i am gracious to those that come into Our home. Gracious might mean saying "help yourself". in most settings outside of the home, i am shy and nervous, and say little until i have reached a level of comfort. then as above, i behave as though His reputation depeneded on it. and on the rare occation We go out to a club,,, i raise my head high as i walk by His side, meeting anyone's gaze, carrying myself with a certain aire... i'm different in clubs, maybe because after exotic dancing , a certain level of comfort will always be there. i like it, i still fill powerful in clubs, and i know all that power is for Him.

Owner4SexSlave -> RE: Another thread got Me thinking (5/20/2008 2:22:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie All people other than my Master are to be treated as equal human beings. No one but my Master is called Master. He has no problem with me calling people Sir or Ma'am, as in most walks of life that's just considered polite. But I am to look up to nobody but him. Ditto....

AquaticSub -> RE: Another thread got Me thinking (5/20/2008 2:24:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact For s types, what is the policy that your D has given to you? At this point I don't have much of a formal policy. I am not allowed to cap "he", "she", etc in reference to them the same way I am not allowed to do for Valyraen. Most of the time I make my own judgement call based on what feels right to me. I tend to treat dominants the same way as I treat submissives or anyone else. Usually I call them by their first name, or whatever name they gave me when I was introduced but there are a few who are in my head "Master name" and that tends to be how I refer to them.

Justme696 -> RE: Another thread got Me thinking (5/20/2008 2:29:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Something that DV brought up here http://www.collarchat.com/m_1871849/tm.htm got Me to wonder about something. Quite some time ago, when I was first talking with My sub about protocol, I explained to him My preferences in addressing other D types. I'm of the mind that courtesy is expected, as he would be representing Me, yet respect was earned. How he would speak to others, would be guided by his impressions, along with My own. In other words, I don't expect him to call everyone who slaps a D label on themselves as "Sir" or "Ma'am". I think those decisions should be made, depending on the individual. So, I'm curious, as I usually am. For D types, what are your directions for yours when it comes to this? For s types, what is the policy that your D has given to you? I know my girl acts decent, therefor I didn't put any rules for title naming. She treats every one with the same respect. I told her...when she talks..to just tell her opinion..not mine. She is free to speak...but I told her I will correct her when I think she goes to far. (think I need that correction more then she)

DominantJenny -> RE: Another thread got Me thinking (5/20/2008 2:37:43 PM)
I don't need to tell him to be polite, but if he wasn't without good reason, I'd call him on it. That's it.

softness -> RE: Another thread got Me thinking (5/20/2008 2:48:34 PM)
Th only direction I have been given ... "Always be a compliment to your Owner" ... and I am left to work out how best to do that ... mostly it is being pleasant, polite, charming, and respectful ... and sometimes its crushing Dumminants where they stand

sirsholly -> RE: Another thread got Me thinking (5/20/2008 2:51:39 PM)
His words to me: Handle yourself with pride and dignity and I will be pleased.

TreasureKY -> RE: Another thread got Me thinking (5/20/2008 3:28:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact ... For s types, what is the policy that your D has given to you? I am a courteous person (most of the time [;)]) and do not wish to embarrass myself or anyone with whom I am associated by behaving rudely. I treat everyone with a cautious level of respect by default. It's just the way I am and if I was not that way without his direction, then he would not have chosen to be with me. I have been given no special policy or rules with regard to addressing other dominants, submissives, or anyone else. I am expected to behave in the same manner he observed when he decided to choose me.

Usako -> RE: Another thread got Me thinking (5/20/2008 3:46:46 PM)
I talk to everyone the same way. (give or take) Unless I'm in a situation where it's obvious I need to call someone sir/ma'am/miss (ie; working with customers) then I see no reason for it.

Evility -> RE: Another thread got Me thinking (5/20/2008 4:03:21 PM)
I refer to anyone of the male gender as Sir regardless of fetish orientation and I refer to anyone of the female gender as Ma'am again regardless of fetish orientation. It doesn't matter if they are some highly touted member of the bdsm community or if they are serving me an order of french fries. Holding everyone up to some litmus test before extending this basic token of respect is just something I could never do. We don't have one of those high protocol pomp and circumstance relationships so I don't require certain behavior from her in this regard. She is polite to people because she is a polite person.

Madame4a -> RE: Another thread got Me thinking (5/20/2008 4:24:22 PM)
First.. I'll say.. I prefer to be addressed by my first name by all.. UNLESS someone's dominant has instructed them otherwise.. also, when I had a leather family, the s types were welcome to call me certain things if they chose -- a close relationship enables that for me. That said, if necessary, I suggest that my boi ask how someone wishes to be addressed, or I ask for her. I'm not opposed to her calling someone Sir or Master.. as long as I feel like they deserve it. And she needs to feel that too. Ultimately, its an individual thing and I tend to defer to the person being addressed. I will also refer to or call someone Master or Sir so and so.. or Mistress whatever if they prefer it -- I prefer to feel it, but I won't fight with someone about it. And.. I should add, I don't mind be approached with a polite ma'am or mistress.. I realize its the way most people go at first.. and I don't get bent about it, I just say.. please call me... myfirstname ... and go from there...

mztresn0w -> RE: Another thread got Me thinking (5/20/2008 4:32:48 PM)
My lil one will call people in the lifestyle Ma'am or Sir if we are at a gathering or even a party. That is what she is comfortable with. If it is a friend of mine and they are submissive/slave. I want them to call me Tess. The Ma'am isn't something that I want them to call me for very long. I always let their dominant know that I would like for them to call me Tess. I don't want them to get in trouble with their dominant. So I always ask.

daddysliloneds -> RE: Another thread got Me thinking (5/20/2008 4:40:14 PM)
he doesn't have a policy with me; he knows i'll call them the appropriate thing, whether that be asshole, or sir.

kyraofMists -> RE: Another thread got Me thinking (5/20/2008 4:51:33 PM)
I am required to treat most people courteously. I am only allowed to address other dominants with a title if they have earned his respect. Usually that respect is earned through face to face interaction and they will most likely be referred to as Sir or Ma'am. If the person has been recognized by the Leather community as Master, and they have earned his respect then it is appropriate for me to use the title of master and their name when speaking to or about them, ex. Master Skip or Master Archer. Otherwise, I am not allowed to use the title of master with anyone other than him. Knight's Kyra

masterofdrkness2 -> RE: Another thread got Me thinking (5/20/2008 4:59:03 PM)
I have said.. that respect is a must to anyone... not just D's...like you said it is a reflection of me... I have no trouble with her calling them "Sir" or "Maam".. I am from the south.. those words where burned into my brain when speaking to another person ...to me that is a sign of good manners as well as respect.. true respect in a any relationship must be earned.. but in a casual seting as a meer greeting I dont see anything wrong with it.. as said by mzt if they are not comfortable with being called " sir or Maam " then it is up to them to give a name they wish to be called

DesFIP -> RE: Another thread got Me thinking (5/20/2008 5:14:42 PM)
Since we don't go to public clubs, this isn't a problem. But the truth is that just because someone else calls themself a dominant, it doesn't mean anything to me. I treat everyone else with common courtesy to begin with, respect to be gained or lost by their own actions. And once lost, it isn't regained.

katGS -> RE: Another thread got Me thinking (5/20/2008 5:19:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds he doesn't have a policy with me; he knows i'll call them the appropriate thing, whether that be asshole, or sir. Ok that made my day!! Sounds pretty much like the same confidence Himself has with me. We can call 'em like we see 'em.

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