switch beginnings

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

switch beginnings

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Switch >> switch beginnings

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

switch beginnings - 5/21/2008 9:12:18 PM

jim64

Posts: 86
Joined: 10/21/2007
Status: offline

Sure this has been ask before, but how did you first begin to "switch"? As a bottom i do not even know how to think about it. My partner/Domme is never going bottom for me! lol! i don't want her to. Other than working on flogging skills, what is there to practice or work on? It is a learned skill with participants.

i think i know the answer to this. Just watch and wait. The rest will come as it may. i just know that i am much more nervous about my first time as a top than i ever was as a bottom.

Real question is ???

Any stories out there about the first time you "switched"?

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: switch beginnings - 5/21/2008 10:08:36 PM

sheepwhichsmirks

Posts: 5
Joined: 2/3/2008
Status: offline

I think I'm starting to learn how to be a switch - or how to enjoy playing a domme at least. ... I'm not really a switch, I'm still submissive to the core (really it depends on how you want to define it. I'm straight for labeling purposes, but I am attracted to ladies and I could definitely have a bit of fun with one. Most people who know how I roll say I am a switch, and I am bi, I just won't admit it to myself).

I'm starting learn a lot of boys who aren't into the lifestyle, but who are still kinky, definitely desire to be dominated. And finding people into the lifestyle is a bit difficult - but kinky is not so hard to find. I'm an accomedating girl, and if being dominated is what a boy wants, I'll try and learn how to satisfy that (which, I mean, I view as a pretty submissive act whether they know it or not).

I'm working slowly to it. This weekend I'm hoping to play a bit with a friend, and surprise him with some new toys (wartenberg wheel, ball gag, namely) and hopefully a new corset if it comes in the mail by then.

If I do end up admitting I'm a switch, this is definitely my process of finding out.

(in reply to jim64)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: switch beginnings - 5/22/2008 8:59:00 AM

pettingdragons

Posts: 421
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline

many many years ago in the relationship i was in then i was asked to top my sister slave...and it only went up from there...:) LOL

pettingsdragons
**Master Dragons considered slave**

(in reply to jim64)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: switch beginnings - 5/22/2008 6:41:32 PM

Aine

Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jim64

Sure this has been ask before, but how did you first begin to "switch"? As a bottom i do not even know how to think about it. My partner/Domme is never going bottom for me! lol! i don't want her to. Other than working on flogging skills, what is there to practice or work on? It is a learned skill with participants.

i think i know the answer to this. Just watch and wait. The rest will come as it may. i just know that i am much more nervous about my first time as a top than i ever was as a bottom.

Real question is ???

Any stories out there about the first time you "switched"?

Depends on what you consider switching.

SMTop: Someone who administers pain for the purpose of administering, or because they enjoy administering it. This person can be a Dominant, or sub/slave. subs/slaves can be sadistic, with or without the direction of a Dominant in a scene.

SMbottom: Someone who receives pain merely because they like it. This person can be sub/slave, Dominant, or neither.

The flip side of this is a Switch, someone who is inherently both Dominant and submissive. They can be a slave to one, and Dominant to others. They can be sub to one, and Dominant to others. They can be Dominant to one, and sub to others. You get the idea.

Topping - Playing the "role" of the "in charge" person in a scene or under direction of another Dominant in a scene, for SM reasons, or otherwise, learning under that Dominant to see if they do indeed have a dominant side of their own, and to develop it, mentally, emotionally and physically.

Bottoming - Being essentially, the one on the "bottom" of a pair of people in a scene. This person is not always and inherently a submissive or slave. In most cases when it comes to SM, it's a Dominant who happens to like receiving pain. They direct the Top (occassionally a submissive/slave) in how to administer the pain for their pleasure. But in some cases, it's less to do with whether a person is even submissive or dominant. It could just be that someone enjoys the sexual act of being overpowered in bed...being there for the enjoyment of another, and live very "normal" lives out side of the bedroom.

Oi...I hope you're still with me...'cause I'm not even sure if I'm still with me at this point.

Anyways.

I am a switch. I am inherently both dominant and submissive, I engage in both activities with my switch Mate/Fiance. I am a sadist and a masochist, so I also enjoy giving and receiving pain. For me, it comes rather naturally, but I've also spent the last 6 years working on the mental aspects of this lifestyle, reading, watching, talking to people and adjusting things as I see fit for myself and my personality.

As for starting out....it depends on what you want to do, what you want to try, and how you feel about it. Comfort is a good thing, being as aware about any particular activity as you can before engaging in it...trusting those around you to help you out where you need it, and to be patient and understanding with you. You can also find a Top or Dominant to mentor you in things, physically and mentally.

_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

(in reply to jim64)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: switch beginnings - 5/26/2008 2:31:13 PM

SlaveRayleene

Posts: 22
Joined: 1/9/2008
Status: offline

My late Master gave me a sub as a Christmas present as he wanted to see if I could Domme. I could and did but my sub side is stronger.

_____________________________

"Jamais vaincou"

(in reply to Aine)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: switch beginnings - 6/19/2008 10:28:34 AM

kuriouswitch

Posts: 325
Joined: 6/17/2008
Status: offline

I'm not sure what I am yet, relatively new to the lifestyle, I tried being a domme but everyone (and I do mean everyone) I talked to said i was a soft domme so I figured the best way to learn would be to learn as a switch. we'll see what happens.

(in reply to SlaveRayleene)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: switch beginnings - 6/19/2008 11:11:11 AM

LadyLynx

Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline

go to local community events. observe how Dominants interact with the subs/slaves. even during a munch. read as much as you can, online and off. talk to people. I started that way. practiced my tone and voice on friends who were ok with it. hung out in BDSM chatrooms, and observed, talked there.

learn simple restraints
go to the $1 store and get spatulas and what not,(save money, then when you have more confidence, get the good stuff. In regard to the good stuff: if you can, buy locally. Not only helps them keep in business, but chances are, you will be able to examine what your getting.)
You can find someone who is willing to explore with you being the top,(starting in the bedroom, and work up from there.)
As you experience more, you will grow more confident of your abilities.

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to kuriouswitch)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: switch beginnings - 6/19/2008 2:10:35 PM

hizgeorgiapeach

Posts: 1672
Status: offline

It wasn't so much a "learned" thing with me, as far as the switchiness of my Personality - it was simply an acceptance of the fact that I'm not Dominant except towards a few specific people, and I'm not Submissive except towards a few specific people - I'm neither, but I'm also both. I don't do the whole power change thing any more - from either side. I don't get into the "mental" aspects of it at all - they're a complete turn off with me on Either side of the coin any more, and do nothing other than irritate the living shit out of me when someone else starts trying to pull me into them on either side.

On the SM side of things - I simply got curious as to how the "feel" was from the other side, after having been a maso for several years. Once I tried it, I found that I liked the Giving as much as the Getting.

_____________________________

Rhi
Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Essential Scentsations

(in reply to jim64)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: switch beginnings - 6/19/2008 10:00:20 PM

azropedntied

Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline

One of the first times i Switched many moons ago was out of sheer boredom and the Domme sub bottom ratio .then it grabbed hold of me and became a part of who i am . Now thankful i was bored waiting , and glad i took those steps long ago . Lynx is correct and the more you learn the more confidence you shall have .Get to as many things you can watch , learn , observe , experience , take classes , read , ask questions when you can , get a mentor if you can too . Most of all have fun with it all .
Happy journey !

(in reply to hizgeorgiapeach)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: switch beginnings - 6/20/2008 7:11:51 AM

Deliena

Posts: 623
Joined: 6/16/2007
From: Darlington, United Kingdom
Status: offline

I didn't really learn I was into it so much as just do what felt natural in the situation I was in..... shrug... maybe I'm not twue enough

(in reply to azropedntied)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: switch beginnings - 6/20/2008 10:44:13 AM

LadyLynx

Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline

Deliana, I have felt that way too. a few times fell into topping the person I was with, and using whatever was handy. pfft twue............*smiles*

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to Deliena)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: switch beginnings - 6/20/2008 9:24:56 PM

jim64

Posts: 86
Joined: 10/21/2007
Status: offline

I am indeed curious as how it feels from the "other" side. The title/role specifics were confusing at first. Calling myself a submissive didn't really fit. Yet, I did. You got to start somewhere? I feel much more comfortable as being a bottom. The s/m aspect is what I live for. I love to receive pain. Someday, I will enjoy giving it as well. I know this to be true, but right now I'm too happy being beat, thrashed, whipped, bitten, pinched, slapped, and shocked.

(in reply to hizgeorgiapeach)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: switch beginnings - 6/20/2008 10:19:39 PM

WhisperSupremacy

Posts: 74
Joined: 4/7/2008
Status: offline

For me personally, I was interested in the dominant role initially, but I wanted to train myself partially as a submissive so I could understand more fluently what the sub goes through and how it effects them. My first and only D/S relationship was a switch relationship,.... my girlfriend was already into the lifestyle and she introduced me to it. She had a very broad stectrum of both sides and how they were viewed, and she showed me the ropes.

So, in short, I think that exploring both sides helps visualize how you see yourself and what moves you emotionally. Most people seem to feel comfort on one side or the other,....but every now and then, you find those like us, who feel comfort in both.

As far as how the switch role is acted out within a relationship, playmate, polyhouse, etc...... the possibilities vary between each individual.

(in reply to jim64)

Profile

Post #: 13