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RE: How do you know... (Drama-ish) - 5/22/2008 7:41:10 AM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

only you can decide on your own comfort level, however blocking all forms of communication seems like a pretty decisive statement to me.

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to chaah)

Post #: 21

RE: How do you know... (Drama-ish) - 5/22/2008 7:48:34 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

you should open my truck glovebox.

What? I have not. I repeat, I have not sent Dnomyar used panties

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 22

RE: How do you know... (Drama-ish) - 5/22/2008 7:55:33 AM

sabirah

Posts: 97
Status: offline

Maturity in any relationship is a must, communication is an absolute.From the sound of your post, you have neither coming back to you from your partner.I do realize that closure is needed in order to move on. sadly, sometimes we never get that peace of mind to know exactly why or what went wrong.( we tend to pick up and just move on) I would suggest that you look at the actions of your Domme, to me it is very clear there was no concern about your feelings or a wish to continue.

_____________________________

sincerely,
sabirah

The room is silent, absolutely silent, except for the decisive click of the collar lock.
It is a sound the girl will never forget.

(in reply to chaah)

Post #: 23

RE: How do you know... (Drama-ish) - 5/22/2008 7:56:36 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

this slave has never had an online relationship, but would assume that putting someone on "iggy" or "block" would be but one online relationship way of ending it. this slave thinks perhaps you are putting expectations of non-online relationships on an online relationship.

ever see the video by Kelly, "You can't text-message break-up!!"?? it's sort of like that, but in reverse. this slave would not expect an online relationship to function or end in the same way as an off-line one.

flesh-on-flesh relationships (thanks erin!!!) have different parameters---and no keyboard---so alternate methods of ending things, such as a face-to-face conversation wouldn't be an unreasonable expectation.

(in reply to chaah)

Post #: 24

RE: How do you know... (Drama-ish) - 5/22/2008 8:07:27 AM

sweetNsmartBBW

Posts: 167
Joined: 5/16/2007
Status: offline

It's been a while since I posted, but needed to weigh in on this one.

If I am reading you correctly, you are concerned that she is just ignoring you as punishment- and that you have not been released?

My suggestion is this: write her an email explaining this, also- have your mutual friends forward a message to her with the same information. Inform her that while you have waited this long, it is reasonable for you to expect communication of some sort and that if you do not have it by such and such a date, you will consider yourself released.

Otherwise, what I suspect will happen is this: you will declare yourself free, and she will come back and blame you for being too hasty in your actions. You will be told she never intended to release you, but that your actions ended things; thus putting the onus on you and she will have a clear conscience. It's hooey, of course, but...highly likely in a situation like this.

Remember: you are a submissive; not a mind reader.

_____________________________

There are two kinds of strengths: the strength to lead, and the strength to follow; the strength to control, and the strength to yield. There are two kinds of power: the power to strip away another's soul bare, and the power to stand naked. Yaldah Tova

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 25

RE: How do you know... (Drama-ish) - 5/22/2008 8:44:11 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Katy don't hold out to long or the glove box will be to full. Sweet NSmart. She put him on block.

(in reply to sweetNsmartBBW)

Post #: 26

RE: How do you know... (Drama-ish) - 5/22/2008 9:13:55 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

Note to self: Never carpool to a munch if Dnomyar is the driver.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 27

RE: How do you know... (Drama-ish) - 5/22/2008 9:18:52 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Katy don't hold out to long or the glove box will be to full. Sweet NSmart. She put him on block.

Soooooo...how much you paying for used panties? Aileen needs a new camera lens.

_____________________________

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 28

RE: How do you know... (Drama-ish) - 5/22/2008 9:27:52 AM

chaah

Posts: 10
Joined: 10/24/2007
Status: offline

quote:

sweetNsmartBBW: It's been a while since I posted, but needed to weigh in on this one.

If I am reading you correctly, you are concerned that she is just ignoring you as punishment- and that you have not been released?

My suggestion is this: write her an email explaining this, also- have your mutual friends forward a message to her with the same information. Inform her that while you have waited this long, it is reasonable for you to expect communication of some sort and that if you do not have it by such and such a date, you will consider yourself released.

Otherwise, what I suspect will happen is this: you will declare yourself free, and she will come back and blame you for being too hasty in your actions. You will be told she never intended to release you, but that your actions ended things; thus putting the onus on you and she will have a clear conscience. It's hooey, of course, but...highly likely in a situation like this.

Remember: you are a submissive; not a mind reader.

My concerns are.. I do not what she expects of me, if this is punishment, or if it my release and what exactly caused this.

I did email her asking her what is happening with no response received. One mutual friend messaged her for me when she was online and she immediately left or blocked her. That could be because it was a friend more of mine than hers though. I do not know, but I do not wish to have her angered by me sending others to bother her, and/or cause her to block other friends. I will probably try to send one more email to one of her other email addresses. I do not think it is proper, but I need to know though I do not wish to make demands.

I am worried that in a few weeks or something if I do guess that I am free, and stop following the rules she has set, that she may return and be upset and leave me as you said, though I worry it would be sincerely on me then. It is so confusing and I think I got in way over my head very quickly without ever seeing the tide come in...

Thank you.

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 29

RE: How do you know... (Drama-ish) - 5/22/2008 9:53:25 AM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

without reasonable and responsible communication your only resort is to be a bit selfish and do what is right for you and you alone.

And personally, I wouldn't care if she made me the scape goat to her mistakes.

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to chaah)

Post #: 30

RE: How do you know... (Drama-ish) - 5/22/2008 9:53:41 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

Dearest chaah

What you have to do above anything else IMO - is decide if this behaviour is acceptable to you. You do not seem to like this, nor do you seem to have be informed. Is this the kind of relationship you really want? One where you are left not knowing either way? Is this healthy or postive for you? Is it causing you disturbance?

If you are being given silence and you are informed - then you would not be asking us and your dominnat communicated clearly and would be punishing you.

If you are suffering in this silence and have no idea whether you are to move on or whether you are expected to wait then that is poor communication of the dominants part and is nothing more than a head game should she return.

I know my choice in this scenario. Mine would be to remove my submission to this person and find a relationship that is constructive to my development, not negative.
But your choice may be different.

Be safe
the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to chaah)

Post #: 31

RE: How do you know... (Drama-ish) - 5/22/2008 10:25:46 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

If this were a vanilla girl you were dating, how long would it take of her exhibiting the same behavior for you to move on?

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to chaah)

Post #: 32

RE: How do you know... (Drama-ish) - 5/22/2008 10:58:17 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Maybe she had a power failure.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 33

RE: How do you know... (Drama-ish) - 5/22/2008 12:25:15 PM

sweetNsmartBBW

Posts: 167
Joined: 5/16/2007
Status: offline

chaah...you have to do what's right for you. Does not matter if you are submissive, slave, vanilla- ~you~ are ultimately responsible for your own well being. If that well being is best served by submitting to another- thats awesome. However, in this case, you really need to ask yourself if that's the case?

And no, I beg to differ with your conclusion that if your dominant leaves you over this, it would sincerely be on you. You can't make a relationship work if you are the only one contributing to it; trust me, I have tried in the past.

A few questions, if I may? Why would you want to stay in a relationship with a dominant where you are not even informed, after a more than reasonable amount of time, if they are withdrawing attention out of punishment? How long, exactly, are you willing to allow this to go on? Don't feel compelled to reply, but please, do ponder the answers for yourself.

Best of luck to you...

_____________________________

There are two kinds of strengths: the strength to lead, and the strength to follow; the strength to control, and the strength to yield. There are two kinds of power: the power to strip away another's soul bare, and the power to stand naked. Yaldah Tova

(in reply to chaah)

Post #: 34

RE: How do you know... (Drama-ish) - 5/22/2008 12:29:43 PM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

~FR~

This may have been said already as I have not read everyone elses response yet.

IF someone blocked me, or hell just did not respond to me for a couple days. I would release them. YA sure I'm submissive but I have as much right to end a relationship as the D persona does.

I don't go for drama or BS. relationships are a two way street.

My question is, if your dominant partner is treating you in the way you describe why would you want to remain theirs?

Why does it matter if they have choosen to keep you or not?? If they block you and ignore you once chances are they will again.

If you are treated thus in just an online situation, imagine if and when you are living together and one day you come home from work and all the locks are changed and your stuff is in the front yard (if you are that lucky)

< Message edited by akisha -- 5/22/2008 12:30:16 PM >

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 35

RE: How do you know... (Drama-ish) - 5/22/2008 5:49:55 PM

thornhappy

Posts: 8596
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

happypervert you should open my truck glovebox.

ewwwwwwwwwww

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 36

RE: How do you know... (Drama-ish) - 5/23/2008 4:39:45 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Aileen you should let me look first. I will tell you if a new camera lens is needed. For some reason the smell from my glove box attracts females. Im seeing a Pro side of Aileen. Selling her panties. I wonder if the op even paid attention to wnat anyone said on here.

(in reply to thornhappy)

Post #: 37

RE: How do you know... (Drama-ish) - 5/23/2008 4:52:11 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

Chaah,

I know you said you did something to upset her a few weeks ago but she said it was OK. She also may have said she blamed herself. However IMO, Although she said this obviously what happened altered her feelings in an irreversible way. I know I have been in situations where I said an apology was accepted and I did accept the apology but whatever transpired changed my view about the person in an irreversible way. The relationship was damaged and there was no going back. This is what might have happened. You don't have to ask release from someone who is ignoring you. Be strong, value yourself and move on. Good luck and (((hugs))).

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 38

RE: How do you know... (Drama-ish) - 5/23/2008 8:39:44 AM

chaah

Posts: 10
Joined: 10/24/2007
Status: offline

Dnomyar, seeing as I have responded several times thus far, obviously I have paid some level of attention. However I have been skipping over the posts in which you and others have chosen to simply mock and make fun of things, "contributing" what appears at a glance to be nothing more than mockery and nonsense... Perhaps I am wrong, but it seems so, and I have felt bad enough without reading through such things to compound it further if it seems it is only mockery. I am happy to read posts that seem to contribute, even when they say things that are unpleasant, but again... Only serious posts...

Anyhow, this is not typical situations between she and I, else it would not be so confusing and painful. Generally speaking our relation has been a wonderful very positive experience for me, and she has said previously (before this last upset) that it has been for her as well, though she used different words. Just when she is made angry, it sometimes lingers for weeks. However, she has been very good for my growth as a person during our time together. As such, I wish to remain with her, should she too be willing.

Even if I wished to end our relation (which I do NOT) I do not feel that is my place to make that decision, though I would tell her my wishes and ask.

Anyhow.. She contacted me last night, and when I asked if I am hers, she did not answer. A while later, she told me she will not be around for a long while (she did not state such, but she meant for me, as she is allowing me to see when she is online, and she is retaining her general schedule) and that I should not message her until she messages me in the future.

So, I do not have a clear verbal answer. But since she told me I am not to contact her, until she messages me and when I told her I would of course obey and continue to follow the guidelines she has set for what is permitted or not, she did not tell me I need not do so, I am still hers, at least for now. :)

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 39

RE: How do you know... (Drama-ish) - 5/23/2008 9:02:36 AM

SingleRarity

Posts: 320
Joined: 9/13/2006
Status: offline

Wait. So she's going to keep up with her normal life, spend her usual time on line, but you can't contact her? Why are you staying in a "relationship" with her? Do you have any value for yourself? I know better than getting into the ol/rl debate, but if anybody has ever needed a dose real life, it's you. You deserve better.

(in reply to chaah)

Post #: 40

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